Chapter 92
My body froze as soon as I saw the scars; Koo Hui-seo seemed to realize the subject of my gaze. He quickly lowered his arm and hid the scar by wrapping his other hand around his wrist, but the awkward atmosphere would not vanish.
I wished I could hide my feelings as easily as Seo Dawon. I looked up, blaming myself for my incompetence. Koo Hui-seo sported an awkward smile.
“Ah, um……” I started.
“……”
“I-I also liked hiding under my desk as a kid.”
“……”
“I’d bring a blanket and lay it on the desk, and…Haah….”
“I see.”
I babbled, bothered by the short silence, and Koo Hui-seo matched my words, half a beat late. He seemed more comfortable now that he understood my good intentions.
I felt relieved, looking at that expression, but I was soon hit by reality.
A lunatic, who would impregnate his half-brother for revenge, came into my room…Why am I trying to sympathize with a man like that?
When I saw the remnants of self-inflicted stab wounds on his wrist, I was actually more flustered than pitying…I felt sorry for Koo Hui-seo, who seemed embarrassed
However, when Koo Huiseo relaxed his expression, parted his tense lips, and laughed awkwardly, my rolling insides calmed down a little.
Eventually, I recommended that he take a seat at the table in this room that he didn’t seem to like. He didn’t reject me, as I had expected, and instead obeyed my suggestion.
After sitting silently for a while, Koo Hui-seo spoke first, “Seeing how you left first, you must have felt a bit uncomfortable at the dinner table…”
“Ah, of course not.” I quickly shook my hands, gesturing no, but he didn’t seem to believe me.
Did my face betray me again? However, instead of pressing me, Koo Hui-seo brought up Chairwoman Shin. “Not only Lee-kyung-nim, but a lot of people…find mother a bit uncomfortable.”
“What?”
“Mother was a famous shaman before she became a User.” He said, cautiously, as if he was apologizing on behalf of his mother. According to him, she made others uncomfortable because she could see and hear things that others couldn’t.
‘Was that why she could see Seo Dawon and Jung Garam?’
I was curious about her ability, so I stopped denying my discomfort and looked at Koo Hui-seo. He calmly continued to speak, “She would often say I was haunted by many ghosts; when I was younger, she would make me crossdress as well… 1 She doesn’t hesitate to act strangely as well. She says she’ll go crazy if she doesn’t act the way she does. Rather than my mother’s true intentions, I think it’s more influenced by the ghosts that she is carrying within her…”
Koo Hui-seo made excuses for Chairwoman Shin’s circumstances like an obedient son. The more I heard, the more depressed I became.
Chairwoman Shin’s unusual background exists, yes, but I could feel Koo Hui-seo’s desperation, repeating to himself that it wasn’t his mother’s true intent but the ghost that she serves, in regards to his mother’s mistreatment of her son. His mental victory over logic.
Back when he was imprisoned in the hospital ward, Koo Hui-seo had told us that ‘all the other past personalities have died and he was the only ego to endure and remain in the end.’ But, in a sense, he may still not have escaped from the past at all?
Eventually, I cut him off and blurted, “If I was Chairwoman Shin, I would have let you know in advance.”
“What?”
“About the ghosts–that I may speak sharply at times because of them. I would have asked for your understanding in advance.”
“……”
“Also, I don’t mean to contradict Hui-seo-ssi and your words, but…I don’t think Chairwoman Shin is afraid of being misunderstood.”
My words were euphemistic, but Koo Hui-seo seemed to understand what I was trying to say. He looked as if he had received a blow; a moment later, he asked, in a hoarse voice, “By any chance, did mother talk about me?”
“……” I didn’t say anything, but my silence was answer enough.
He lowered his head, “You may think I’m stupid, but…”
“……”
“When I returned home and said I would kill Kyungman-ie…Mother praised me. It was the first praise I’ve ever received from her in all my life.”
“……”
“In the past, she would ignore me as if I didn’t exist, but now she acknowledges me as her son. That’s…That made me so happy…”
“…….”
“This is…definitely weird, right?”
Back when he was imprisoned in the hospital ward, Koo Hui-seo loathed his mother as much as Koo Kyungman.
However, after returning to the mansion and experiencing what it was like for his mother to acknowledge him as a son and treat him like a human being, he began to act like Koo Hui-seo from the past. His vigilance against his mother had begun to fade.
I began to think that there must be some reasons for the circumstances between old Koo Hui-seo and his mother’s relationship. It hasn’t been more than a few days, and he’s already falling into old habits.
While confessing his story, Koo Hui-seo became more agitated and spoke faster with every excuse. By the time he finished, his expression was horribly contorted. “…It still feels like I’m trapped back at the hospital.”
His face was of a man who had lost his way.
So, even though I was hesitant, I reached out to him.
I may be acting this way because of his tearful expression. I grasped his cold and emaciated hand that was lying on the table; his back trembled vulnerably.
Koo Hui-seo tried to pull out his hand, but I put some strength into my grip. It was even more heartbreaking to see his awkward attempts at pulling away. Obviously, he had never been comforted this way before.
“Honestly, I think Hui-seo-ssi is a bit of a strange person….”
“…….”
Of course, I wanted to bite my tongue as soon as I started–I was just an ordinary human being who had no skills in comforting others. I didn’t mean to be this honest…
However, Koo Hui-seo looked at me calmly, as if he was expecting something more. I felt the thoughts in my head getting tangled, but I continued to speak, “But, even so…It seems like Hui-seo-ssi knows that about himself…”
“…….”
“S-so, didn’t he, somehow…Didn’t you want to live a good, ordinary life?”
“……”
“You wanted to get along with your mother; you wanted to get along with your younger brother…That’s all you wanted.”
I really didn’t have the gift for consolation.
Doesn’t Koo Hui-seo know by now that I’m simply rambling? He was still staring at me, incredibly patient.
Unable to overcome the pressure of that gaze, I ended up rambling out the central core of what I had wanted to say, “What I meant to say is…Hui-seo wants to do well, but the people around him don’t accept him, right? But, the world is vast…”
“……”
“And there are many people out there…If you search, there’s bound to be people who accept Hui-seo-ssi as he is…”
“……”
“And it doesn’t have to be your family. Or, you could create your own family later on…Don’t you think?”
Honestly, I wanted to curse Chairwoman Shin, Koo Hui-seo’s mother…
But I’m an unrelated third party and Koo Hui-seo still had lingering feelings for her. Besides, I thought he would tear up more if I touched more on the original personality’s situation with his family. Though, now that it’s all said and done, I don’t know if my feelings were conveyed properly.
And, to be honest, I don’t really know what exactly I’ve said, so I thought he probably wouldn’t understand either…
It was then.
Koo Hui-seo, whose hand was sitting calmly in my grasp, suddenly turned his palm upwards and grasped mine.
“Ah!” His grip was incredibly strong, so I screamed, worried that he would crush my hand. After listening to my scream, Koo Hui-seo relaxed his hold, but he still held me with enough force, stopping me from escaping his grasp.
TL: MC is good kid too empathetic for this ranker world. And obliviously good at saying the things to make people latch onto him.
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