Chapter 165
“There’s one thing I can’t understand even if we take everything you said as truth…” He lowered his voice and whispered into my ear.
“What?”
“That means that everything about me is faked. You said I didn’t exist during your highschool days.”
“That’s…right?”
“Then, normally in cases like this, won’t you be able to return to your original world after you kill me? It’s like that in the movies.”
“…What did you say?” Surprised, I looked at Seo Dawon. He calmly met my gaze; he didn’t even chuckle at my wide open eyes.
You don’t believe me at all, but you’d calmly discuss the possibility of your death being the key to end this memory…? Flustered and scared, I stopped walking and scrutinized Seo Dawon. “Are you asking me to kill you?”
“You said this is all a dream anyway. I’m speaking from your perspective.”
“You don’t believe me though.”
“In any case, you just want to ‘wake up,’ right?”
How could he say such things so placidly? Simultaneously, though, I began to problematically think that Seo Dawon’s words were somewhat valid. After all, this place definitely isn’t reality.
But…
“…Enough. It’s still… We don’t even know if killing you will wake me from this memory anyway.” The more I looked at Seo Dawon, the more I thought I couldn’t harm him willingly. I superimposed the future Seo Dawon onto him.
Furthermore, Seo Dawon–judging from his teasing smile–must have gleaned something from my soft and vague answer.
Seeing that face, I impulsively asked, “If you were in my situation…Would you kill me?”
“Nope.” Seo Dawon answered before I could even finish my question. And, casually, he continued, “I would simply try jumping from the roof. Usually, they say the sensation of falling helps to wake you up.”
“……”
I showed him an expression that conveyed how tired I was of him. Seo Dawon stared at me as if he was looking through my facade and smiled quietly when I didn’t resume walking. Then, he murmured, as if he intended for me to hear him, “What a relief. I would have taken you immediately to the hospital if you suddenly insisted on jumping.”
“…Haah.”
Either way–killing Seo Dawon or jumping to my death to wake from this memory–would require me to muster up some courage. If I had to choose one from those two choices…I guess I would jump.
Honestly, since I knew I was within a [Vengeful Ghost Memory], I wasn’t scared of death, but I would have to brace myself for a world of pain… It wasn’t easy to parrot empty words about preparing myself for the pain of a shattered body. However, Seo Dawon didn’t seem to realize that I hesitated due to the promise of pain rather than being afraid of death.
Of course, Seo Dawon would not have mentioned this method because he truly wanted me to jump off a high place. From his point of view, he was seeing someone he thought normal loudly proclaiming that this world was all faked. He must be trying to observe my reactions while pretending to agree with me…
So, I shook my head and walked ahead instead of arguing the point further. I didn’t want to reveal my complicated feelings evident in my expression. Seo Dawon tranquilly followed behind.
* * *
“Lee-kyung-ah. Let’s go eat something.”
Not long afterwards, Seo Dawon suddenly dragged me away, claiming he was hungry. I contemplated what to do, but I nodded–it would be best to stay by his side anyway.
After a short while, we arrived at another familiar place: a snack/fast food place near school. 1 As soon as I entered, I ordered the knife-cut noodles 2 I had once liked; I felt strange since, fascinatingly, the noodles tasted exactly the same. I remember being so disappointed that this shop had transformed into a cell phone vendor before I graduated from high school.
‘Then, would I be 18 years old now?’
When I thought that, I looked down at my hand. I realized belatedly that I couldn’t see the scar I had obtained during my military draft.
Seeing bare skin reminded me of a novel I had read back when I had deeply regretted choosing the Necromancer class. In the novel, the protagonist experienced a regression after death; the main character was so delighted to see his younger body, saying that a new opportunity had arrived.
‘If only I could also turn back time like what I’m reading…’ I had thought.
Now that I’m in a similar situation, though, I feel rather at a loss. The only good that’s come of this experience is that I’m able to vividly see Seo Dawon’s younger face…
‘I have such carefree thoughts now.’
I kept glancing at Seo Dawon in front of me, conscious of his presence. Of course, as soon as I realized those subconscious actions, I was a bit embarrassed. Should I say that I kept comparing the boy in front of me to the man I knew? The present Seo Dawon rarely ate in front of me, so it was somewhat strange and fascinating to watch him eat.
“What are you staring at?”
“……”
With how blatantly I stared at him, there’s no way Seo Dawon didn’t know the answer to his own question.
Why on earth was he pretending otherwise… While I stood, flustered, Seo Dawon gave smiles at the passing high school students–as if he was already familiar with the faces I’d make and had no need to look at me.
“Do you want to come over today?” Seo Dawon asked.
“Where?”
“My house.”
Because there seemed to be some insidious nuance laden in the words, ‘my house,’ I shook my head fiercely. I’d feel a lot of shame if I was swept away by his flow and did something with him. In the end, this place was all faked–how should I face the Seo Dawon back in reality?
However, Seo Dawon did not back down easily. “You have nothing to do, though.”
“I have a lot? You’re the one who has nothing to do.”
“You’re playing hard to get… Then, should we go to your house?”
“You want to be with me that much?”
“Isn’t that obvious?” He acted as if he had no shame.
His unexpected words landed a clean blow on me; my face flushed with warmth. The Seo Dawon who openly declared his affections for me without hiding anything made me strangely bashful. Even though I knew that this was simply a fabricated memory–he was not like this in reality–but…
However, before I responded, I blinked while looking at Seo Dawon; I saw something off on the inside of his hand during our conversation. “W-Wait a minute…Stretch out your hand.”
“Why?”
“Show me your palms.”
Seo Dawon paused momentarily, but soon unfurled his hands. And, on his palm, were ten cross-shaped scars–similar to the cuts I made on my own palm with the dagger.
“How come…”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Where did you get this scar?”
“What do you mean, ‘scar’?”
However, it seemed as if Seo Dawon was ignorant of the scars engraved onto his palm.
“It’s right there!” Frustrated, I even groped at the healed wounds with my fingertips.
The other simply closed his mouth, opening and closing his fist a couple of times. “I’ve never hurt my hands though?”
I could see that Seo Dawon wasn’t joking with me through his sincere expression. It really seemed like only I could see this scar. Furthermore, suspiciously, the scar looked similar to the wounds I inflicted upon my own hands.
Why would the wounds incurred during the [Vengeful Ghost Summoning] appear on Seo Dawon’s palm?
‘No way, Seo Dawon must be…’
But, before I could think deeper on the issue, I suddenly heard an alarm from both my and Seo Dawon’s cell phone. Simultaneously, the small TV screen in the snack shop cut its broadcast with a [No Signal] display.
“Oh my, what’s going on?”
“What’s with this?”
“Hey, I just received a disaster PSA.”
Suddenly, the store owner and the customers alike began to chatter.
Weeeee-woooo–
Then, I began to hear a faint siren sound from outside the store. I had heard this kind of racket often during military defense training, but, unlike training, the siren continued without end. An ominous feeling washed over me.
“……L-Look at that!”
All the anxious customers rose from their seats. Seo Dawon and I also froze, staring out the store window.
One man pointed at something outside. This eatery was located at the corner of a large intersection; the front and sides were built with transparent glass, so anyone could see far out with no hindrances.
Therefore, when my gaze followed the man’s pointed finger, I could clearly see to the far along the road. At the end, thick, black smoke rose into the air.
‘Is that a fire?’
However, as soon as he saw the smoke rising, Seo Dawon mumbled to himself. “Why aren’t there any cars driving along the road?”
Come to think of it, I couldn’t see a single car in the intersection.
TL: I feel like I’m getting whiplash from “Omg it’s so sweet” to “What on earth is going on?????”
Also, Today is finally the last day of my finals! I’ll be able to start TL’ing again after giving myself a break/relaxation time. I’ll probably be back to full capacity after Christmas!
Comments