Lunchtime to me was very awkward.
We were sitting on the rooftop and looking down on other students. The whole area was technically ours. No one else was there since I was in charge of the key to this place for some unknown reason.
As I looked at the sky above my head, I could see a captivating blue, coupled with a few patches of white cotton balls. Those cotton balls would move ever so slowly because they were patient, giving me a sense of peacefulness and tranquility. But most prominent of all in that blue canvas was a yellow ball of light, shining down its radiance to warm up the earth.
Occasionally, my skin would be caressed by the gentle yet cooling wind. The breeze, which existed only at that location, was something both soothing and comfortable at the same time. It was simply perfect. Too perfect.
The rooftop was a beautiful place.
...just like how a painting should be.
Be as flawless as it was, I noticed an odd occurrence. Except for the setting sun, the clouds moved in the same pattern. Always. The scenery above my head kept repeating the same thing rather than having it totally random, similar to how actual clouds should be. Not only that, but the wind was no different. The time between each breeze was the same. No more, no less.
It was then that I was sure that guy was not crazy.
The truth was I, Rachel, was inside a game where I had to share my love with an unknown number of crazy female heroines. There was only one person who knew that before me, and that was a person called Classmate C.
I should be feeling mad. I should have either laughed out loud or gone into a crazy berserk state. Who in their right mind would ever want to share their boyfriend with someone else?
But I did not.
At least, I did not think about those thoughts of my own volition. I was forced to do so.
Han was my childhood friend. That was the premise of the story. With our families living next to each other, we basically spent our entire childhood with one another, never to be separated. Throughout all the years of my memory, we have had quite a history together.
There was even a promise of getting married in the future. By now, that promise would be near worthless.
I knew absolutely everything about him, from his way of speaking, his habits, to his favorite porn...everything.
Sadly, I knew those things because it was forced down on me, not because I wanted to. My feelings for Han were so intense, to the point of being impossible. Whenever I was with him, I felt that my chest was overflowing with happiness even when Han was not doing anything. It was always bursting with joy for no reason. The sensation inside my chest was suffocating. As long as I was able to meet Han, it was okay.
I loved him. I really did. Although it was fake, it was pure, unadulterated love.
There was also a constant drive within me that pushed me towards Han. Anything that I did was to please him and him only.
If I had to make a guess, I would say the system of this game was to blame. However, to be completely honest, if not for C, I would have followed the system until the very end.
Classmate C still had not realized that his thoughts could generate actual scenes inside my head. Unbeknownst to the guy, he could project his thinking and make others live those experiences again.
The scenes he talked about were ever so vivid in front of my very eyes.
It opened up with Han and me lying on his bed at night. I 'saw' The Rachel, who was brutally butchering her alleged "love" with a kitchen knife because he cheated on her. That Rachel, who was plunging her shiny knife into Han's chest while pleasuring herself with his limping penis, was a monster.
A monster created by the system with the intent to finish the plot, nothing else.
Never could I have ever done something so heinous. I was sure of it. I could never do that to my love, no matter how painful it was.
And when I realized that my life has been a character for the main protagonist to conquer, I felt like a whore. Even more so, I offered myself to Han.
No. The word "offer" is not correct.
I forced myself on Han, someone who would never be able to be loyal.
Of course, I doubted the reliability of that. However, things got clearer after seeing Laura.
I "saw" myself feeding her the paper-knife.
The feelings inside of my head were divided into two sides. One side was still unrivaled love. I could not help it. Years of loving someone can not be thrown away in less than a day like so. Still, the other part of me was clearly disgusted.
There was no need to delve into the loving side. The system wanted me to love Han, so it forced all of the necessary feelings into my head. I was exactly how a goose on a foie gras farm would be.
Everything was about Han. I must wake him up in the morning, make him breakfast, and do his laundry while he was sleeping until late. In my mind, there was only one schedule.
His.
As for the other side, it just started to pop out this morning.
I never doubted anything until I met C at the school gate and heard his thoughts. He was the voice of reason I never knew I needed.
It is hard to explain, but I had two distinctive feelings happening at that moment. Probably that was how people with split personalities would feel.
With all that said, I started to distance myself from Han and paid more attention to C.
"Rachel?"
Having C close by would be a tremendous help in almost anything this world had to offer. Unfortunately, I could not.
The forces of this world shut me off even before asking him.
Honestly, I am so fed up with losing control over my body. I could hardly do anything other than what the script guides as if it was not my own. Especially when Classmate C was not around, the situation was even worst. His abilities had a distance limit.
Before hearing C's thoughts, I was Han's loyal subject. Maybe in the past trials of the game, I was really his love slave. I was reconsidering it, albeit just a little.
I wanted to break free.
"Rachel? Are you okay?" Han came close to me. His face was full of worries.
Was that really him talking? Was that really him caring for me?
Or was it just the program talking?
It pained me if the latter was correct.
"No. Nothing! I'm fine. How is the lunchbox? I stacked quite a lot of your favorites in there." I smiled at him. My voice was a little high-pitched, just like how a girl in love should be.
I was a natural.
Still, I did not want to talk. The mood between us was romantic because of the game, not thanks to Han or me. In fact, I was trying to think on my own. Some peace and quiet would be greatly appreciated.
Han used his chopsticks to grab a piece of fried chicken. "Oh! Don't worry! It was you who made my lunch. I would eat it every day if I could."
"Then eat a lot! We have work to do tonight!" I said.
"Yes, Ma'am!" He was not thinking of anything out of the ordinary. It made sense...
But no. I did not want to do any kind of work tonight! According to C, I would drug Han and force myself on him. Then I would change and become what he had been complaining, a yandere.
Even if I still harbored feelings for my childhood friend, it was not up to the level where I would do such a thing right now. Until I was completely sure Han was someone I truly had feelings for, I would not give my chasity.
No matter what, I needed to screw the night up for good!
C must be with me, at least for tonight!
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