Ah, that surprised me! I was surprised by Felix's voice coming out behind the bed curtain. When did you get in here?
"Ye, yes."
"This is unusual. His majesty is not the one to put his guard down in front of people."
His giggles made me want to hide in a mouse hole.
"Seems like princess's song was very effective."
Ack! You also heard it? Uwu, I'm done for. How do I look Felix in the eyes from now on. Wha whaaa. I am embarrassed.
"Princess."
"Wh~y?"
I rolled kicking cushions. Then Felix called me again. Sniff. Why? What now. Sure, speak if you have words to speak to me.
"I'm sorry about yesterday."
He meant of the incident yesterday.
"I was not supposed to take action without the permission of princess. I was short in thoughts."
Ehh. Well, why are you apologizing? Now I feel more sorry.
"I just thought princess would be happy if princess saw Ms. Diana."
No, that's a problem because only you and Lilly thinks that way. I was the one who said I wanted see Diana in the first place.... Anyways the two are taking care of Atanasia so they must be worried of Atanasia not knowing her mother.
Gasp. But I just screamed and abused them physically!
"Uh, umm."
Kuuck. Now I know that I'm a trash. Wahhh.
"A-Atti is also sorry I hit you─?"
I was not going to get into this again but I just can't stay still hearing what Felix said. I heard little laughters when I hesitantly apologized.
"It's fine. It hurts, but I'm fine now."
Eek that's a lie! That soft push was not too hard! In fact, my hands were the ones suffering after the push! And the one being pushed back by force was me!
But I should stay quiet before another accidental word comes out from my mouth. Kuuckkk. But Claude this brat is sleeping, right? I relaxed myself after seeing that there was no reaction when I poked his nose and made it look like a pig's.
"Honestly even though it is not like princess, I lost my mother quite early when I was a kid too."
Go on. I'm all ears.
"My mother was also his majesty's nanny. We could be described as a brother taken care by the same mother."
Now I know why Claude was being a little soft on Felix than he is to others. Felix's mommy is his nanny after all.
No wait?! This is a new discovery. Claude you, you weren't the one to go soft on people for those reasons! If I am wrong, be soft on me too!
"I didn't really like mother back then. She played more with his highness than she played with me."
Tsk. Your mom has been stolen by Claude. Now I know why Claude is a bit nice to Felix.
"So after mother passed away."
Anyways young Claude. I can't imagine. I feel like he was emotionless when he was born to.....
"I told people that I didn't care about that women's death. I didn't miss her or didn't specifically think of her for the next 3 years either. I didn't need to for a mother who didn't spare a lot of time with me."
I think I knew why Felix started to talk about his mom. I mannerly sat quietly and listened to his story without cutting his lines.
"But one day, very coincidentally, the handkerchief with the sowing..... So the sowing my mom sewed for me herself... When I looked at that,"
Felix was saying this as if it was nothing but to be able to do that, you needed a lot of self courage and hardsh.i.p.s.
"I couldn't believe it myself. Tears came from my eyes."
With my mood set down, I pulled on Claude's soft hair. I didn't know if I was allowed to know this.
Since its Felix who told me himself, Claude won't say a word to me... but won't he try to hurt me if he realizes that I heard a part of a story from his past?
"She was my mother whom I hated. She was just a women with a title mother for me but to be honest, I was missing her."
Honestly Felix's speech didn't really reach my heart too deeply.
"Even though I didn't have much memories with her, she still was my one and only mother."
I feel sorry to say this after hearing Felix's secret but I didn't have a family who I could hate in the first place.
Of course when I was young, I had a thought that it would be great to have mom and dad...
I lost that feeling a long time ago as I aged. And later when I found out that they abandoned me I wasn't even irritated or angry at all. That is because hating or missing your family is only possible if you contain at least a little bit of hope or expectation in them.
What would I think of if I was real Atanasia? What if I was that princess Atanasia who lives abused without knowing her mother's face, and meeting her dad Claude for the first time.
"You see. This is a big big secret."
I whispered as if I was only going to tell Felix a secret.
"Honestly it was a lie that I said I didn't want to see mommy."
"Really."
Felix probably knew everything but replied with a soft tone.
"But it's not a lie that I don't need to see mommy."
Umm. Even though I don't know, if I were Atanasia she would probably say...
"There is papa for Atti."
If I was actually this age I would say the same thing.
"Even though there is no mommy, I can do sleep well sleep well with papa so Atti won't cry."
Kyaa. Claude you bad bast*td. Even though you liked Jennet, how could you kill Atanasia who loved you alone like a sunflower that cruel way?! You! Get cursed!
"And if I go to Ruby palace, there is Lilly, Felix, lots of other maid unnies, and there's choco!"
And there's no Claude! Ahh, so great. Sob sob. I wanna go to Ruby palace. Can't I go now? Claude is asleep. Now, fellow Felix. Quickly pick me up!
"Does princess Atanasia have a wish?"
"A wish?"
"Like, what princess would say 'it would be great if'."
Is that even a question? My wish is definately!
"Eighteen ...."
Is there other thing to ask other than Claude not killing me when I'm at the age of 18? To make that happen, of course I don't need to die before hand. Sob sob.
"Pardon?"
Fortunately Felix didn't seem to hear me. I switched my wish that a 5 year old would wish for.
"I wish papa would like Atti even more and more than now!"
So he won't even think of killing me! Even when I'm 10, even when I turn 18!
"Thiiiiis much like how much Atti likes papa! Very very much!"
Even though I don't contain nice feelings towards you, but at least I don't think of killing you, hmm? Consider of basic logic and please just care for me. Then you'll know that you don't need to get rid of me. Sob sob. Wahhh!
From my touching wish, Felix finally smiled weakly.
"That wish, that wish will surely come true."
I wish, too. Even though he is asleep and unconscious, I hope my wish breaks through his unconsciousness, and that Claude hears my wish in his dreams so that he would please leave me alone. Please, my lord.
Thinking this, I once again pulled on Claude's hair. Then I couldn't help but laugh 'Kekekekek' feeling a bit refreshed seeing these golden hair getting messed up.
Surprisingly I fell asleep on Claude's side. Probably because I couldn't sleep well yesterday from the big fight.
Also, since Claude was sleeping, I let down my guard and my eye lids kept on moving down.
I didn't know what Felix was doing being this quiet. Also isn't it a great time to take a daytime nap? That is why I set my body between these soft fluffy cushions and let go of my consciousness.
And I had a dream of a women.
The first thing to catch my interest was the clear singing melody like a dew at midnight rolling on the shiny plate. I became happy just by listening the sound and that got me curious of who possess this voice.
But my curiousness didn't last long. When the sight became clear like a fog disappearing, it was a women visible on a lively grass.
Light blonde hair strings likely of a sun swayed in front of my eyes. She was facing back against me, walking bare footed as if she was dancing. That movement was so similar to one butterfly and it gave me a feeling that the butterfly was going to fly away any moment.
I, without thinking, reached my hand at her. But before my hand touch, she turning her head to look at me was a bit faster.
Ah. She is smiling.
The curved bright sunset like eyes was very attractive but there was still a bit of young teen feeling with her which also gave an aura of innocence. She was a women unbelievably beautiful that everyone would see her holding their breathes.
Hulll, an extreme beauty! Unnie, soooo pretty! Totally my style!
(Hull is an expression in Korea when you see or experience things that is surprising or unbelievable.)
I became excited as it was first seeing a beauty this beautiful. Wow, I feel like I could become a shoe cleaning towel if I get to see her smile like this all the time.
She is a goddess. A fairy. Unnie is my destiny....
Her smile was so warm and gentle that I became happy just by seeing her. So happy that my chest faintly hurt.
"Seems like princess is having a nice dream."
This familiar voice tried to bring me out to reality again, but I didn't want to wake up right now.
"Of course. She sang a song to shoo away bad dreams several times."
"True. It probably was a gift from a fairy who was listening all ears to the princess 'till now."
"Meaningless words out your mouth these days."
"Haha."
It's too noisy. I wanna sleep more.
"Euung...."
The conversation between the 2 stopped when I let out the sound of discomfort. I'm allowed to sleep more? It was then when I felt warmth on my head. It was very faint touch to barely feel anything and with it, it patted my head a few times.
"This is annoying. Sleep."
Since the dream I was having right now was so beautiful and made me happy, I took that voice as an 'okay' and fell in a deep sleep again.
It was a nap I didn't want to wake up from if I could.
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