Chapter 114
Translator: apinklover Editor: apinklover
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“There was some magic involved…”
“Didn’t you have no money?”
“Magic took care of—that’s a trade secret, sir!”
Gosh, I almost told him about the counterfeit coins! I tried to look away from Claude’s accusing look.
“I figured. I was worried you were starving yourself to death somewhere out there.”
I looked up at him blankly as his low voice crawled up my ear.
We looked at each other for a moment without a word.
Claude was even more devastated than when I met him at the rose garden and when I saw him in his bedroom the other day.
Oh, now he realizes that I’ve been treated like crap. It was fitting for him—for his personality anyway—to still be standing after throwing up that much blood.
I stared at him in silence and began to talk.
“But you said you weren’t my dad.”
“No. I’m not.”
My questions were followed by stubborn answers.
“But why do you care so much?”
I felt his emotions shaking through his eyes and whispered him one more question.
“Why do you act like you’re my dad?”
He asked me as if he was worried about me and it didn’t seem like he waited for me to kill me anymore.
This time, a short silence followed instead of the usual stubborn answer.
“I don’t know either.”
I watched Claude’s facial expression gradually change from a mad, teeth-grinding look to calm and subtle.
“But when you call me like that, it feels weird.”
“…….”
“…”
“Just watching you make that face makes me feel like that.”
I didn’t understand what he meant by my face but his look made me feel strange. He looked like he swallowed a bag of tacks.
“I have absolutely no idea why I feel like this whenever I see you.”
Claude’s fists clenched harder.
“I still do not remember who you are, and therefore cannot become the one you want me to.”
His words were saddening, but…
“Maybe I will never know.”
But I thought to myself that Claude may be going through the same fear as I was in this very situation.
“However…”
Claude spat out an ultimatum.
“I cannot allow you to leave.”
His eyes filled with chill once more.
“You shall be where I can see you and reach out to you whenever I desire.”
The atmosphere surrounding Claude suddenly froze as if it reminded him of the two times I fled him. His words struck my eardrums like darts thrown at a dartboard.
“If you disappear again without my knowledge ever again, I will kill you.”
But I wasn’t afraid of him anymore.
“Including the people who helped you escape and even those whose clothes slightly touched that of yours.
I really didn’t care even if he killed others along with me.
What…
Cast a spell that only penalizes the caster when he threatens to kill me, actually stop when I tell him to not come any closer…
What a hypocrite. And he’s been saying nothing other than nonsense…
“Come on. Really?”
I was swept away in the uncontainable sentiment and let out a mutter.
“Seriously…”
What the… Do you even know what you’re saying?
“What do you want?”
It could be that I was getting something wrong.
But to me, Claude’s words sounded like ‘I could be next to him’ and that I ‘should stay right here.’
“Why do you tell me that…?”
Something swelled up inside me and I let out a shaky voice. I could feel a lump in my throat for some reason.
Claude’s facial expression promptly changed.
He was letting out faint sounds then spat out a rough, scraping voice.
“I’m going nuts.”
His lips kept moving not knowing what to but he only stood in silence.
After some time Claude finally spoke.
“Don’t cry.”
But it was too late.
“…waa…”
I began to cry, looking at Claude through my tears.
“No… sob. Bad dad…”
My deepest sorrows started to finally burst out.
“Bad dad… sob…”
I didn’t want to say this but the only word I could describe Claude with at the moment was ‘bad.’ As tears rolled down my face, Claude stiffened with a faint expression.
I cried even more as his face came into my vision.
“Sob… How could you forget me…”
I really didn’t want to do this… Especially cry my sadness away like an actual 12-year-old …
But my tears didn’t look like they were doing to stop.
“And tell me you’re gonna kill me whenever you see me…”
“…….”
“…”
“And actually try to kill me…”
I could stand him when he had tried to kill me but now that he’s acting so desperately—not being able to do anything but at the same time telling me not to leave—I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
I kept making unintelligible voices through my choking throat as I rubbed my eyes with my hands
“How foolish…”
I thought to myself that I was being punished for what I’ve done.
“You almost died because of me…”
Because I ignored Lucas’ advice and because of my stupid greed I lost Blackie, and Claude became like this…
“I was… sob… really worried something bad would’ve happened to you…”
It could be that I took the book for granted and assumed Claude would never die nor get hurt.
All I had in mind was me dying. I couldn’t even imagine the almighty Claude go wrong because of me.
“Really bad dad…”
Yes. I was stupid. The bad person wasn’t Claude but in fact me myself.
I now realized that I was being such immature to him.
The reason behind the fact I was able to act like an innocent child, and be this greedy and inconsiderate was because I thought I had someone who would tolerate all that.
I had always become his daughter Athanasia in front of him.
And clearly, it was because Claude had been protecting me with all his might that I could act in such a way.
I furiously rubbed my eyes to not show Claude me crying but tear glands were broken.
Now that I think about it, I hadn’t cried this hard in front of him.
“You’re the only one I have, dad…”
I really don’t like this.
“If you’re like that… If I don’t have you anymore… I…”
What am I doing? I think I’ve actually become a kid in this body.
Saying such childish things with tears and snot covering my face.
“I…”
My appearance right now would be indescribably stupid but all the things I’ve been keeping inside of me were spilling out.
“I’ll be left alone again…”
I hate this… What’s wrong with me? I didn’t want to do this. Breaking apart unable to control my own emotions…
I’m going to shatter and disappear like a speck of dust. That’s why I never wanted to let anyone inside of me… I never wanted to admit that…
“Sob… I—I’m sorry…”
I let go of my arrogance and crumbled the outer shell to keep me from the outside and apologized to him with all my heart.
“I—I’m terribly sorry… I won’t do it ever again…”
“…….”
“…”
“So… so…”
Maybe I… I didn’t even want myself knowing I was this desperate.
But whatever. I can manage to go lower than this. I don’t care anymore.
It’s quite sad but you don’t have to think of me as your daughter anymore.
So… so…
Thump.
In the faint sight, I could see Claude slowly take a step closer to me.
When the distance between us two shortened to touching distance, his hand slowly rose and moved in the air. He looked at me crying without a word.
“No…”
He held his breath and whispered.
“…I’m sorry.”
I stopped rubbing my eyes, shocked to hear his confession.
A low voice whispered once more.
“It’s me who should have been more thoughtful. I deeply apologize.”
Even though it was me who was crying but Claude seemed even more apologetic. It’s like I was harassing him instead of the other way around.
“I won’t do it ever again. So…”
His hand reached out to me after doing nothing and just waving in the air.
“So stop crying.”
His suppressed voice almost felt like an entreaty. His anxious hands, not sure if he could touch my face or not, finally came into contact with my face.
“Please.”
I fell into his arms wide open for me before his worrying became deeper.
As I crawled deeper into his chest, my body inadvertently stiffened. My tears dropping from my eyes wet Claude’s clothes.
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