Chapter 147
Proofreader: somnium
“Why is Lysia here?”
Artizea asked.
She did tell Hayley to contact Brother Colton quickly.
But it will take a few days for the news to arrive, and it will take some time for the news to come back. It was not a distance that could be reached in three or four days.
Alice said cautiously.
“She arrived on the day Madam collapsed. It seems that Brother Colton made the decision on the day he heard about the Dowager Marchioness.”
“…….”
“I think he was thinking of being on Madam’s side at the temple.”
Alice asked.
“What should I do? Shall I take her inside?”
If it were anyone else, she wouldn’t let in now. Artizea had to rest more.
It was Alice’s intent that Artizea should forget everything about the Evron Grand Duchy and rest.
But she knew that Artizea was a person who couldn’t do that. Besides, Lysia is a special person.
Artizea thought for a moment and then let out a long sigh.
She had no desire to run away.
But she didn’t have the option of rejecting Lysia when Lysia wanted to meet.
She sighed, not because she didn’t want to meet her or because she was shy.
“Nothing really goes my way.”
“Are you going to decline? Miss Lysia said that she would go if you were tired.”
“No. Please tell her to come in.”
Artizea said so and she turned to Sophie and Marcus.
“You two can go.”
“Madam.”
“It’s okay. Nothing’s going to happen.”
The cause was unknown, but her condition was actually better than before she collapsed.
“And Alice, tell Lysia to come in, and tell Hayley and Sir Freil that I am looking for them.”
“Madam, you need to rest more.”
“Even if I take a break, it would be better to understand the situation first and then rest. There’s no rush, just tell them to come when they’re done.”
Alice did not object further.
“Then, I’ll be by your side even then.”
“Yes, please.”
Artizea nodded her head.
＊＊＊
Lysia entered Artizea’s sitting room with a cautious attitude.
And she knelt down on one of her knees in front of Artizea and kissed the back of her hand.
“I’m glad you’re safe, Your Grace.”
“Lysia…….”
She didn’t know where to start, so Artizea called her name and choked.
“I’m sorry.”
When Artizea did not speak to her, Lysia looked up and said.
“What?”
“I couldn’t keep doing what I was commanded to do, and I came as I wanted.”
“I heard that Brother Colton had come. I have entrusted you to be Brother Colton’s assistant, so you don’t have to think so.”
“Your Grace is too generous with me.”
said Lysia.
“I couldn’t be by your side, and I couldn’t do what I was asked to do, so I should be reprimanded.”
“Don’t do that, get up.”
Artizea tried to reach her and get her up. But she hadn’t yet had strength to that extent.
The angle of her looking down at Lysia and Lysia looking up at her was the exact opposite of what Artizea remembered.
She herself is sitting, and Lysia kneeling on her knees in front of Artizea gave her a tormented mood.
“I’m okay.”
“You look like you’re not okay.”
“It’s okay.”
Artizea spoke again.
Lysia always said.
[“It’s okay.”]
With lips that turned white.
But how can she say that she is not okay?
She once again tried to take Lysia’s hand, but Lysia was a bit more stubborn.
Artizea burst into tears.
Lysia was not surprised. It was because she remembered that she had seen these tears in the past as well.
“This child, do you think it’s okay for me to give birth?”
Artizea asked.
What a meaningless question she asked impulsively, she thought.
Lysia knows nothing. What would be different if she asked Lysia to forgive her or to get Lysia’s permission?
It doesn’t change that she stole Cedric, that she caused Lysia to die painfully, or that she failed to protect the child.
It doesn’t change that she’s a genocide criminal or a sinister copycat.
It was still true that she was born of ugly bloodlines.
Cedric comforted Artizea, but she couldn’t forgive herself for that alone.
He asked her to think together. She was grateful for that. But this was a problem before that.
Is it okay to give birth to this child?
It was a question before the question of whether she could make the child happy.
But it was useless even if she asked Lysia now.
Even if she were to receive her blessing and forgiveness from her, it would be nothing more than a flimsy self-consolation for Artizea.
However, Lysia’s words were neither permission nor congratulations nor consolation.
“Do you want to give birth?”
“I……?”
Artizea looked at Lysia blankly.
“Yes, I think it’s something you want to love.”
Lysia looked a little embarrassed, but she said with a confident attitude.
“If you didn’t want to, you wouldn’t be afraid.”
Artizea blinked her eyes.
But Lysia was right.
Had she had no feelings, she would have decided, whether she would have the child or not, according to her own needs. There was no element in which trouble could intervene. This is because it is not a process of finding the optimal efficiency, but a reasonable choice.
Also, if she didn’t want to, she wouldn’t hesitate. She would remain steadfast in her belief that the child not being born was better for everyone.
It is right to cut the seeds of anxiety early. There is no reason for her to leave a variable that is far more likely to be negative.
Why should her children be any different from all the lives she has ever dealt with as her chess pieces?
Where is the guarantee that this is a child worthy of birth?
Even if Cedric nurtures it and Alice loves it, the child’s nature may resemble her and become cold-blooded.
But it is painful because she wanted it even though she knew it.
She wanted to have the child. She wanted to create a family that she wanted to have but couldn’t get. She wanted to have her own child and raise it differently from her.
It was the child born to Cedric. She wanted to love it.
She kept thinking that maybe it’ll be okay. Especially since this might be the first and last chance.
She traced back to her heart one by one and realized that fact, then Artizea lowered her head.
“It’s strange.”
“What?”
“How could you not change like this?”
It was only when Artizea was twenty-four that she met Lysia in person.
The lives and sufferings of the countless people Lysia met in the West made her mature, and the wars and hardships that plagued Evron Grand Duchy tempered her.
At that time, Lysia was already a complete saintess.
When they met again, she had an innocent side that Artizea had never even thought of.
So Artizea felt sadness and joy at the same time.
She thought she wanted to keep Lysia from changing like this.
But Artizea knew and suddenly realized that there was no point in trying so hard.
Lysia’s eyes were always right. And the world, which will be watched with her eyes, will raise her as a saint.
Any thoughts Artizea had created by spinning her head like crazy meant nothing in front of Lysia’s eyes.
Artizea realized it anew.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry that I fell in love with Cedric.”
Artizea stuttered.
She was determined to play a useful role this time, since her life, which was supposed to be lost, did not disappear.
But in the end she was the same as before.
She’s terribly selfish.
Artizea admitted she was the same as she was back then, as she didn’t mind ruining the world just because she wanted her mother’s love.
So she didn’t stop crying out of guilt.
Lysia got her body up.
“It’s so strange. I haven’t known you for very long.”
“…… Lysia.”
“By the way, I think I know what you are thinking.”
Lysia stretched out her arm.
“If you don’t think it’s rude, can I give you a hug for a moment?”
Artizea did not answer.
But Lysia spread her arms as if she heard the answer.
And she hugged Artizea briefly in a motion slow enough not to startle her.
“What Your Grace is so afraid of or worried about, I don’t know for sure.”
“…….”
“But you don’t have to. You haven’t done anything wrong to me.”
Lysia said kindly.
Artizea closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Thinking that now too, she hasn’t changed.
Artizea says she will protect Lysia, but in the end she finds herself protected.
Lysia patted Artizea’s shoulder once, then loosened the embrace. And she said as she held Artizea’s hand.
“You will be able to give birth to a healthy and wonderful child, and raise them very well.”
If it were a blessing, it would be the most meaningful blessing in the world. It was a true saint’s blessing.
＊＊＊
Meanwhile, Hayley and Freil arrived at Alice’s call and were waiting in the parlor.
“You said that Her Grace had a seizure yesterday?”
“I was just hearing the news. I didn’t have time to come anyway, Sir Freil knows that too, right?”
Hayley said so with a blank face.
“You’re still closer to the maids than me, aren’t you?”
“Alice and Sophie are all good kids, but there is a great river flowing between the maid and the husband’s maid. Lysia is an exception. She is loved by everyone.”
Hayley complained.
“Well, are you aware of the current situation of the Grand Duchy?”
Freil sighed. Even under his eyes, a dark shadow was thickly cast.
“Will I ever reach that far? Dealing with the covert contact of military personnel is killing me. Does it make sense to deal with the generals in my spare time?”
“What can I do? You should resent His Grace for acting as if he would never do such a thing again for the rest of his life.”
Hayley sighed, and Freil grumbled
“Isn’t Evron really lacking in talent? I knew it, but no, no matter how hard it is.”
“I feel the same way……. Still, can Sir Freil still be in a harder situation than mine? I have disobeyed Her Grace’s orders.”
At Hayley’s words, Freil bit his lips.
“Oh, don’t admit so easily that you’re in a worse situation.”
“It’s true, but what can I do?”
Hayley threw the pen at him.
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