Episode 88
Translator : Missme
Editor : Aru
“…….”
“Not anymore. And you won’t be in the future.”
I was stiff like someone who had forgotten how to move.
Is it the sound of my heart that’s ringing in my head? Then my heart might burst soon. The human heart could not be able to withstand this beating.
Ash continued, not letting go of my hand, whether or not she knew what I was thinking.
“What about you?”
“Uh, eh?”
“I’m still a younger brother to you?”
A pleasant voice was unrealistically wrapped in my ears.
“I hope not.”
I closed my eyes and opened them.
But even after doing that, Ash in front of me didn’t disappear. Everything was the same.
It’s no illusion. It’s also not in vain.
It was real.
No words came out. Even if it came out, it seemed that I would scream instead of a normal word.
I kept my mouth shut like some unfortunate princess with an unspeakable curse and soon shook my head.
Ash smiled at the moment I shook my head too hard.
It was a dazzling smile. I forgot everything else and lost my mind looking at his smiles.
“I’m relieved, I was wondering what to say if you say yes.”
“……”
“Well, I won’t be your younger brother anyway.”
……then?
If it’s not my brother, then what?
My heartbeat is really crazy. The situation was too dreamy to feel real.
In the meantime, my hand which was still held by Ash seemed to be burning hot. Not to mention the back of my hand where his lips touched.
Soon Ash left my hand alone.
And he put my hair behind my ears with a calm touch that I couldn’t feel any regret left.
I forgot how to move again and Ash whispered quietly in my ear like that.
“It’s very late at night. Take a little more rest today.”
Ash left the room after his words.
But it wouldn’t be my illusion that the hand that was handing over my hair before leaving, moved particularly slowly as if he hated to fall off.
After the door opened and closed again, I’ve been sitting there like a rock for a while.
Soon after, I closed my mouth and fell on the bed.
“……….nonsense.”
The word barely escaped through the gap in my mouth.
***
Sometimes reality is more like a dream than a dream itself. I thought now was the time.
I greeted the morning blankly.
It turned out that I woke up at the mansion in the middle of the night when dawn was approaching.
The reason why I felt the room was bright was because of the lighting.
After a few hours, the dawn broke from the outside the window. Of course, I didn’t fall asleep until then. And of course, I couldn’t sleep more.
“Lady, are you all right?”
“Uh, uh?”
“Why are you so absent-minded? Is there something wrong with you?”
Bessie, who brought water and a white towel, spoke anxiously.
I knew I was enchanted by her voice so I could wake up from my blank mind.
“No, it’s okay.”
“Don’t hide it, my lady. Then I’ll be really angry.”
“It’s really alright. Well, I guess I’m a little half asleep. That’s all.”
I took a towel from Bessie, turning around.
Then I dipped my hands in the lukewarm washbasin, and what happened a few hours ago suddenly occupied my head.
“……”
“Oh, lady! Why have you slapped yourself all of a sudden? Why are you pinching yourself again!”
“No, it’s nothing.”
Rubbed my tingling cheeks and quickly started washing my face.
At first, though, I thought it would have been better if it was cold water, but I didn’t say it because Bessie would nag at me.
I recalled the last few hours, splashing water on my face.
All I did in the room until dawn was to shut my mouth and roll around on the bed like a madman to keep my scream from leaking. And then when I am exhausted, I stop, then roll again when my energy gets back.
I repeated it all night. If anyone had seen it, they would have really thought that there’s something wrong with my mind.
But there was a reason why I had to.
I couldn’t believe he would do that.
‘Honestly, it’s still like a dream.’
When I asked Ash last night if I was still his sister, in fact, I didn’t expect such an answer.
It’s just, even though there’s no blood in it, we’ve been together for a long time, so we’re like a family.
Even if I’m not his sister, I think affection is similar since we’ve become familiar for a long time.
This was the hopeful answer I had drawn. And I thought I’d be happy if it happened. Because he does not despise and hates me. I thought that alone would be enough relief and happiness for me.
‘Not anymore. And you won’t be in the future.’
‘I’m still a younger brother to you?’
‘I hope not.’
The hand that was pouring water stopped.
My heart thumped. At the same time, my right hand was on edge. I wrapped the area carefully with my other hand.
Ash kissed the back of my hand.
Then he told me that I wasn’t his sister anymore.
He even declared that he would not be my younger brother from now on.
I wouldn’t not know what the words and actions meant after all. I couldn’t help not knowing. How can I not know?
It’s what I’ve been hoping for dozens, no, hundreds of more times.
I laughed at myself because I was so greedy that I couldn’t let go of my expectations.
So I couldn’t help noticing, and as soon as I knew, I couldn’t believe it. It was unbelievable.
Would this be the feeling of a person’s hope which became a reality, who thought it was only a vain delusion?
I was happy but it didn’t feel real. I was constantly puzzled.
It was all because of that that I was too mesmerized as if I had lost a screw.
I barely finished washing my face that seemed unlikely to end by dazed, and washed again.
Bessie didn’t say much whether she believed in the excuse that my condition was again questionable that I was still half asleep.
Instead, she came up to me wiping the water after cleaning up the wash.
“Lady.”
“Huh?”
Bessie took my hand. A rather rough, but warm hand, perhaps because she had been working for a long time.
Bessie opened her mouth when I was feeling the warmth that was being transmitted.
“Please make a promise. You’ll never do that again.”
“….….”
“You’ll promise me, don’t you?”
Her eyes and voice made me speechless. Come to think of it, Bessie and many others were still awake until I woke up at that late hour.
What did she feel? Waiting for me to wake up in the middle of the night.
Somewhere in the corner of my heart, there was a guilty feeling raised up. So eventually I nodded.
And as if it was not enough, Bessy made me raise my hand and swore in place and twinkled the pinkie.
Bessi opened her eyes to my attitude at the time and then narrowed her gaze.
“Why?”
“You’re not joking me, are you?”
“No, not like that.”
Why would I be joking around at this time when I haven’t done anything right? My thoughtlessness wasn’t that low.
I put my pinkie on it again with a solemn expression. Hard and tight.
“I promise. I will never do that again. I won’t leave the mansion that way, no matter what.”
“……that’s a promise.”
Bessie loosened her pinkie, saying she would let it go this time soon. I stared at soft Bessie and asked.
“You’re not gonna ask me again?”
“What?”
“Why I did it……….”
I was inwardly prepared to be grilled, I mean questioned.
At dawn, I was confused about how to explain it and how much it would be better to confide.
But Bessy didn’t mention the subject again, contrary to what I thought.
In the end, I took it out first. Bessie sighed lightly.
“I don’t know. My lady must have had your own reasons.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, what if I can’t move a step from here until you tell me everything? Well, frankly, I didn’t mean to do that either.”
Bessie took a towel from me and thoroughly wiped the water off my face.
“You promised me you wouldn’t do that again anyway. That’s enough. For me.”
“…….”
“Of course I’d listen if you’d tell me now.”
“No, I’ll do it later because it’s something I need to prepare my mind for.”
“Yes, then. Oh, if you think something’s wrong, don’t skip it and tell me right away. This is a promise, too.”
“Okay.”
Then Bessie said she would squeeze the chef out and make a nice breakfast and then left the room.
I stayed alone, blinked my eyes and laid back. The feel of the soft bed enveloped my back.
‘……I’ll have to say it.’
Not just for one Bessie, but for everyone in the mansion.
I’m not the blood of this family, although the butler and Bessie already know.
We, Ash and I may have a different relationship in the future.
I lay down, spreading some imagination, and then rolled the bed again.
Oh, I’m going crazy. Heart. Please stay still.
Anyway, my heart couldn’t calm down. What am I going to do if this is unreal?
Then, I rolled on the bed like that and suddenly a luggage bag placed near the bed caught my eye.
I stopped moving suddenly.
That luggage bag is……
‘I didn’t notice that it was here?’
Did Ash bring it when he moved me?
Come to think of it, I didn’t remember putting that suitcase out of my hand until just before I lost consciousness.
I’ve been hugging Ash and limping… Well, anyway I’ve been hugging him.
I was thinking of it and soon jumped up. As soon as I saw the bag, I remembered something.
‘The enchanted cloth.’
—————
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