Chapter 68 – He hadn’t been able to have that as a child, but he hoped that his son could have it, even if that warmth wasn’t real (1)
Song Tingshen didn’t feel that he had treated Ruan Xia unfairly.
On that night four years ago, she had been the one to plot against him first, and he had chosen to indulge when presented the opportunity. It wouldn’t be wrong to say they had both been willing that night. But, when he woke up the next morning, he had already thought of a plan for last night’s indiscretion. If she wanted money, a car, a house, etc, he could agree to all of her monetary requests. It was only right that he compensated her.
However, after practising self-discipline for so many years, one night’s indiscretion would change the rest of his life.
She got pregnant and wanted to get married. As a man, there was only one path for him; take responsibility. Of course, if he had been a bit more unyielding by pressuring her to get an abortion, it wouldn’t have been seen as odd. That sort of thing happened in the city every day. But, he didn’t. He couldn’t force a young woman that was several years younger than him to get an abortion even if her intentions had been impure from the start.
After getting married, the two of them were like business partners. They had collaborated in this ridiculous sham of a marriage.
Even if he didn’t have feelings for her, Song Tingshen still wanted to take care of her for the rest of her life. Why? It was simply because she had given him a child and was his legally married wife.
However, even though he didn’t treat her unfairly, he had ended up treating his son unfairly.
In the past, Song Tingshen had thought it was okay that Ruan Xia didn’t care about their son. It was even okay that she remained indifferent to him. After all, before they had gotten married, they had agreed they wouldn’t interfere in each other’s life. In this world, not all mothers felt compelled to love their children. If she couldn’t be a good mother, he would just make up for it by being a better father. He would fill up the hole left by Ruan Xia’s lack of motherly love.
However, after discussing with Little Wang that evening, he realized his considerations had been too one-sided.
If he wanted to give his son a healthy and all-around ideal environment, then both a father’s love and a mother’s love was needed. If Ruan Xia had never shown any love to Little Wang, then Little Wang might have gotten used to it. But now that Little Wang had experienced a mother’s love and attention, Song Tingshen didn’t want to imagine the impact and damage it would have on Little Wang if he suddenly lost it.
Song Tingshen had lost his parents when he was young and lived with his relatives instead. He longed for the warmth of a family more than anyone else, but this was something that only he knew.
He hadn’t been able to have that as a child, but he hoped that his son could have it, even if that warmth wasn’t real.
Since Ruan Xia hadn’t said anything, Song Tingshen added, “You’ve been doing your best in taking care of Little Wang in the recent period, and he’s been very happy every day about it. I can sense that he likes you more. Don’t misunderstand. I don’t have anything against that. It’s natural for a child to cling to his mother. Ruan Xia, I don’t know if you’re just carried away by a whim, or…”
He paused. After all, Ruan Xia was the mother of his child, he couldn’t criticize her.
“Anyways, Little Wang is very happy right now. This is favorable for his development and personality. I know that my request now is different from what we agreed on before, but I hope that you can understand. As long as you can agree to my request, I’ll do my best to fulfill any requests you have.”
Sitting across from him, Ruan Xia took a sip of her coffee and tried her best to calm her heart.
After a long pause in the conversation, she tentatively asked, “Are you saying that for Little Wang’s sake, you want me to not only be a good mother, but also play the role of a good wife in front of him?”
Song Tingshen nodded his head with a bit of difficulty. “Little Wang is still young, but he’s not completely clueless. I’m worried that once he’s older and sees that his parents’ relationship isn’t good, it’ll adversely affect him.
He added, “I know that my request is very unreasonable…”
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