༺ Tellon Academy (4) ༻
After leaving Miller’s lab, Vera headed straight to the Theology Hall where Renee was likely waiting.
At the building’s entrance, Vera spotted Renee, her eyes closed languidly as she sat in a sunny spot.
He walked up to her with heavy footsteps, bowed his head and muttered.
“Saint.”
“Ah, Vera. You’re here.”
“Yes.”
Renee let out a chuckle. Feeling his chest tickle unnecessarily at that, Vera sat right next to her, and Renee began talking again.
“Are you done with your business?”
“I’ve cleared some things up, but I still have work to do, so I guess I have to go back a few more times.”
He said, stroking the dagger on his waist.
He needed a deeper understanding of the mysteries within the dagger and the method to resonate with them. In addition, he hadn’t asked about the ‘Devourer of Life’ yet.
It would be great to have everything done at once, but it wasn’t right to leave Renee alone right away, so he only did simple tasks today.
Listening to Vera, Renee sighed in pity and replied.
“You’ve suffered a lot.”
“…It’s helpful, so it’s worth the suffering.”
They didn’t even bother to explain what he was suffering from or what was helpful to him.
After a brief moment of awkwardness, Renee opened her mouth first to break the silence.
“Vera.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll let you off the hook for a day.”
Vera turned his head to Renee. Questions arose on his face.
A hint of smile tugged at her lips as she heard the rustling sound coming from her side, and she muttered again.
“Today… no, I won’t seduce you until tomorrow.”
Vera looked surprised. Vera, who was briefly blanking out at her sudden declaration, bowed his head in surprise due to the ‘disappointment’ that suddenly grew inside him.
“…Thank you.”
“Only until tomorrow, I’ll do it again the day after tomorrow.”
“…Yes.”
Renee could clearly hear Vera’s bewilderment and regret in his voice. While it made her happy, it also made her anxious.
It was because Theresa’s words were constantly replaying in her head.
Look at Vera without being blinded by love.
It wasn’t because it was said by the wisest person she knew, but because she had no idea how to do it even if she understood it.
She liked him so much that her heart was about to explode just by being around him. It was hard to ignore those feelings.
Renee, who had been grunting while bathed in sunlight, let out a sigh before speaking again.
“Ah, right. Lady Theresa is looking for you. Why don’t you go meet her?”
“You mean me?”
“Yes. She must be upset because you left for work as soon as you arrived.”
Flinch.
Vera flinched a little. Uneasiness spread across his face at the thought of having a private conversation with her.
It was obviously because Theresa was a difficult person for Vera to meet.
She was the teacher of Vargo, the one Vera served as his teacher, so she was his teacher’s teacher by default. Even without that, her distinct aura, which felt like a warm embrace, was very unfamiliar to him.
“You should go now. I’ll go sight-seeing with Aisha for a bit.”
Renee said with a smile.
At that, Vera nodded, unable to find the words to refuse.
***
“You’re here.”
“I see you are healthy and peaceful.”
“Is there anything I can’t do?”
Theresa, who stood in the middle of the white office, accepted Vera’s greetings with a giggle.
“Sit down. I’ll make you some tea.”
“I’d be thankful if you do.”
Vera sat down while Theresa brewed the tea. Vera was feeling awkward for no reason and couldn’t sit still, so he looked around and made small talk.
“…This ambience reminds me of the Holy Kingdom.”
He spoke about the room’s interior. At that, Theresa replied with a smile.
“Yes, being away makes me miss home. It’s my way of coping with it.”
‘Missing home, huh…’
It was a statement Vera couldn’t empathize with.
First and foremost, he couldn’t stand the predominantly white landscape of the Holy Kingdom. What’s with the obsession with the color white? He thought it was strange that she liked a place where everything was white, including clothes, buildings, and equipment.
So, when Vera only reacted with a nod, Theresa chuckled and said.
“You won’t know because you’re still young. You’ll understand when you get older, so just deal with it for now.”
Theresa held out the teacup. Vera held back his urge to answer ‘I haven’t lived a short life, either’ as he took the cup.
Then it hit him that he hadn’t lived half as long as she had, even when his previous and current lives were combined.
“I heard you called me.”
“Are you asking me to get to the point? How heartless of you.”
“…I apologize.”
“Forget it.”
Theresa sat across Vera. A benevolent crease formed on her face.
“You seem to be having a hard time because of the Saint.”
She said teasingly. Vera’s expression wavered slightly at that.
“…I am sincerely grateful for your excessive interest.”
“You talk like a lively old man when you’re still wet behind the ears.”
Hihihi. Theresa chuckled and observed Vera calmly.
‘His complexion has gotten a lot better.’
His complexion had gotten livelier than when she first saw him.
Maybe it was a change that occurred as he stayed with Renee. Maybe that child’s cheerfulness changed this guy. That thought crossed her mind.
“Do you really think it’s excessive?”
She raised that question. He seemed to have a heart for her when they were together, so Theresa became curious as to why he suppressed his feelings and why he was afraid to love.
Her question was met with strong resolve and, predictably, fear.
“I believe that I’m not supposed to accept it.”
Theresa let out a sigh when Vera replied with his head down.
“What’s the reason?”
“Because it might jeopardize my ability to perform my duties.”
“Is that all?”
Vera raised his head. His gaze met Theresa’s. Vera, inadvertently feeling intimidated, responded by lowering his gaze.
“…I just want to fulfill my duty as her knight.”
A duty, huh?
Theresa found his remark very humorous, and said with a benign smile.
“What a loyal knight you are.”
“Thank you.”
“But it’s not the way to view a human being.”
Vera’s fingers trembled. Theresa took a glance at it and uttered softly.
“Silence and loyalty are both good. There’s a saying that the more you speak, the more your flaws come to light, and the weaker your resolve, the flimsier your loyalty gets. But…”
Her words trailed off as she took a breath. Theresa watched Vera with a hint of remorse as he looked at her with a face full of curiosity.
“…I want you to know that while it may prove your integrity as a knight, it cannot prove your integrity as a human.”
“…”
“Let me ask you. Does your Stigma speak of protection?”
Are you really sure that the Gods entrusted you with the role of a protector?
In response to her question, Vera gritted his teeth as if he had been struck by a whip.
“Aren’t you the one who makes oaths? But from the way you act, it seems that you’re trying to take over the twins’ role.”
Vera had no way to refute. Furthermore, her remarks had touched on points that he had never considered before.
As Vera’s expression clouded over because he couldn’t grasp her intentions, Theresa spoke again.
“Things like that happen. When you’re so focused on doing your duty that you forget why you’re doing it, or when you have become so immersed in your duty that you lose sight of your purpose. I’m wondering if you’re in that situation right now.”
It was such a pity. Theresa couldn’t just abandon Vera since she’d seen too many people collapse in the same way.
Therefore, after dancing around the issue long enough, she said what she wanted to say.
“You are not a protector, but the one who makes an oath, so I am telling you to look at others through the lens of humanity rather than loyalty.”
Vera was confused by what she said. Moreover, he felt an unnecessary desire to refute.
“…It’s not only about protecting the Saint. I also pay enough attention to her heart to ensure that her path is free from sorrow.”
“The absence of sorrow does not mean happiness.”
His argument was thwarted again by Theresa’s remarks.
Theresa smiled benignly as she observed Vera, who crumpled his expression as if he was being scolded, and blurted out again.
“The two are clearly different. They don’t even belong to the same group. Sadness is sadness, and happiness is happiness.”
“Are you saying it is right for me to accept her heart?”
“It’s entirely up to you. But you have to open your eyes to make a decision. You haven’t looked yet, so you’re not in a position to decide.”
“It’ll be harmful.”
“You don’t know that yet.”
“There are some things you can know without experiencing them directly.”
“Yes, there are. But not when it comes to the human heart.”
Vera’s face turned stiff while Theresa’s smile grew deeper.
“Enough with your long excuses. You’re just scared. You cannot move forward without facing your fear.”
“Knowing fear is a sign of a wise person.”
“But to ‘only’ know fear is to be foolish.”
It was quite amusing to watch him refute it with all his might. However, Theresa was too clever to fall for such cowardly excuses.
“Will you spend your whole life only going down the path you know?”
Vera stopped moving. His eyes widened.
It was a moment when the thought that had once crossed his mind resurfaced, reminding him of the self, who had been determined to follow the path based on his knowledge from his past life.
He realized that he had forgotten the commitment he had made to himself.
While Vera was startled, Theresa added.
“You’re trying to be an adult without ever being a child.”
She recounted what she had learned throughout the course of her lengthy life.
“Do you understand? It is the task of an adult to go down the path they know. To live as a child, you must explore numerous paths and then, as an adult, choose the best among them.”
“…”
“So stop being scared and using adulthood as an excuse. You still look like a child to me.”
Vera’s hand tightened on the teacup.
Theresa thought ‘I’m almost there’ and continued.
“I’ll give you an assignment.”
“…What is it?”
“Be a student during your stay at the academy. Put your role as an Apostle aside for a while and attend lectures with the Saint. I’ll notify the Headmaster.”
“I have nothing to learn…”
“Learn how to be a child.”
Theresa watched Vera crumpled his face and spoke in a playful tone.
“Practice to see your bare heart as it is. And let me know what you’ve learned when you leave the academy. When the Saint has finished her revelation, we shall meet again in the Holy Kingdom and you will tell me what you have realized as an adult. These are my assignments as your teacher’s teacher.”
Vera clamped his lips shut. He felt a surge of anger, but he couldn’t bring himself to reveal it. Instead, he nodded his head.
Theresa leaned back in her chair, smiling with satisfaction.
‘Now it’s up to the Saint.’
It will be her own fault if she can’t eat it after I seasoned it for her exceptionally well.
Theresa thought as she savored the scent of tea.
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