Chapter 214: What the Hell is Happening?
Vertigo struck Hao Ren like a truck as he left The Plane of Dreams. Almost overwhelmed, Hao Ren was dazed for a good while before he managed to get his bearings. By the time he woke up, he was lying in the midst of a warm and bright environment. As he opened his eyes, he was greeted by a warm light emanating from the sleeping pod. A soft and sweet chime played out next to his ears. These were features the sleeping pod had to adjust itself to the user’s biological patterns, allowing those who had just woken up from their deep slumber to wake up fully refreshed.
A soft puff rang out as the sleeping pod’s cover slid away and Hao Ren got up from the unholy coffin he was so fond of calling. Only after a few blinks did he feel sure that he had safely reached home. Beside him, a soft clanging noise could be heard as Lil Pea pushed the kettle cover open. After peering out for a bit, she sprang out of the kettle and onto Hao Ren’s legs. “Yeeyeyy!! Wer Wuum!!”
It took Hao Ren a while to figure out that the little mermaid was saying, “We are home.” Lil Pea was rather diligent with her practice of the human tongue but, her pronunciation still left much to be desired, like how a Japanese, who never spoke English before trying to do so…
The sleeping pods around him had also started to open one by one. The gang all woke up from their restful slumber as they stretched, yawned, rubbed their eyes and made a whole lot of commotion.
The last part was courtesy of Lily of course. The brain dead husky would at times make weird noises when she felt like it and the group was pretty much used to it by then.
Hao Ren shook his arms for a bit before he got out of the pod, thinking that he would be all wobbly. To his surprise, aside from his delayed response, he was totally fine. It seemed like the pod really did its job despite its looks.
As he surveyed his surroundings, a figure in the middle of the room caught his attention. The white robed Hilda was standing in front of the row of coffins, her face lined with confusion, shock, suspicion… well, there were too many expressions to describe. The beautiful Elven queen was simply in a state of utter shock until Hao Ren went up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She then reacted with a shriek. “Ah!”
“Hmm, seems like everything’s normal. Teleportation successful.” Hao Ren nodded. “Do you feel sick anywhere? If there’s anything wrong, please tell me now. This is the first time I’ve brought someone out of that world. I’m not sure if everything’s all right.”
Hilda could only gawk at the strange and foreign surrounding. It was evidently not the abode of someone from The Plane of Dreams and the lack of magical reactions in the vicinity finally reminded her of something as Hao Ren spoke. She quickly pulled out an intricately made tubular device and fiddled with it with graceful dexterity. After a moment, she started mumbling to herself, “Still can’t determine any background radiation or the base constant… but, this really is a different planet…”
“Yep, welcome to Earth.” Hao Ren threw the strange device in Hilda’s hand a curious look. “You knew that we were going across dimensions right? Why the surprise now?”
Hilda looked up slowly as the excitement etched on her face scared Hao Ren. “You really brought me to a different world?!”
Vivian placed her hands on her waist as she got to Hao Ren’s side. “Yeah, I thought we told you that?”
“This really is the Surface World you guys were talking about?!”
“Uh, yeah?” Vivian’s hands were still on her waist and she looked at Hilda rather suspiciously. “Don’t tell me you didn’t believe us in the first place? You were just trying your luck weren’t you?”
Hilda unconsciously nodded at first but then quickly shook her head. Her excitement had rendered her speechless before she grabbed Hao Ren by both shoulders and shook him violently. In her extremely excited state, she stuttered as she spoke: “Plee… Please bring me home!! I believe now! I believe everything! If you guys can bring me home, I’ll do anything! You have the Kingdom of Aerym’s eternal gratitude!”
Hao Ren never thought that Hilda would be so overwhelmed by emotions and the shaking he endured made him see double. It took him a monumental effort to get out of the overly excited elf’s grip, dodging her hands as he spoke. “Calm down!! Everything needs to be done in order. Please, calm down! People have actually died from being too happy. Please trust in us and the Space Administration. You may think that traveling across dimensions is a very big thing but, for the personnel in the office, it is almost a daily occurrence. Calm down, okay? If you lunge at me again, I’ll call the cops….”
Only then did Hilda realize that she had reacted way out of line and calmed down somewhat. But, the Elven queen was still all excited and she scanned Hao Ren expectantly, leaving the latter drowning in cold sweat. Hao Ren quickly grabbed Lily by the arms. “Hurry, go check if we have any Cardiosave in the first aid kit…”
Hao Ren really feared that Hilda would get so excited that she would have a heart attack and die in his basement…
It really seemed that Hilda did not fully trust them back in The Plane of Dreams and was simply trying her luck. It was not until she realized that she had indeed been transported to another place—she was unsure if it was a different world but, she was positive that it was a different planet—that she truly believed this bunch of oddballs had the ability to send her home. Her current state of euphoria was finally firmly built upon solid ground.
It looked like Hao Ren could not delay in sending the Elven lady back home. He decided that once he had settled everything back home, he would bring Hilda along to see Raven 12345.
Or Raven 23333 if the loony goddess did not return yet.
Vivian was by then, looking around her room, checking for stuff before going to the corner to pick up a pail and wiping cloth to clean up the house. “Ugh, there’s dust everywhere. I think the upper floor’s going to be worse. Luckily, I covered the beds and furniture with rags and old newspapers or else we would have problems sleeping on our beds tonight… god, this is no different than a dog’s burrow.”
Lily had yet to leave the room and she took umbrage at what Vivian said, bouncing straight towards the vampire to protest. “What’s wrong with a dog’s burrow?! I won’t allow you do ridicule my room!”
“Hush you! If I don’t get the kitchen cleaned by noon, you won’t even have instant noodles to eat!”
“Oh, oh! I’ll help then!”
“That’s fine but, keep your tail. You know that you’re shedding now yet, you still waggle it about…I might as well not clean at all…”
As both Vivian and Lily left the basement rowdily, Hao Ren was glad that he had such a thoughtful tenant like Vivian beside him. While most of the group were busy, getting ready to enter the sleeping pods, only she had thought of covering the beds, important furniture as well as electronics with rags and old newspapers. He would not count on the others to even remember that. As the area he lived in had plenty of barren land, by autumn, the grass patch behind his house would already wither. Every time the northwesterly wind blew, dust and dirt would get all over the place. Hell, his place looked like an abandoned manor after just being away for three days…
Hao Ren really wondered how the heroes on TV actually went out to defeat the bad guys for a month or so and return home to a pristine, clean bed or yabber about on the sofa. Why did the director not includ scenes of superheroes cleaning their house after a long and arduous battle?
Seeing that Vivian was running up and down with a pail in hand, Hao Ren concluded that his reason for not being able to act like a glorious superhero was just that.
As he was busy thinking about nothing, a screech from upstairs broke his train of thought.
It was a girl’s voice. It was rather loud that he could hear it all the way from the basement. The voice sounded very familiar too. He turned around to look at the siren and great demon beside him. All three of them quickly ran up.
The sound came from the kitchen. By the time Hao Ren got there with his group, Vivian and Lily were already there. With so many bodies congesting the kitchen, Hao Ren had to squirm his way through to the front. He was greeted with the sight of someone panicking at the corner of the kitchen…
It was Becky.
The microwave oven above the stove-counter had sparks coming out of it as it seemed like Becky had cleaved it into two with her enchanted sword. When Hao Ren saw her he was too stunned to even react. It was only after a while did he yell, “Why are you here?!”
Becky could only look at the group of familiar faces in a stupor before the microwave beside her crackled its’ last and died.
A little too late, Hao Ren yelled again. “My oven!!!”
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