Chapter 275: A vile assassin out for Affection Rating-san, disguised as a perfect interjection! Part 1
Day 66 – Nighttime, the Souvenir Store, the Orphanage Branch
It would not be exaggeration to call this the uniform issue of the different world. Upon providing the uniform for the girl, even the Royal Girl and the Maid Girl ended up wearing it, making Exposure-san to go into hiding, causing me a great sadness from not meeting it in such a long while.
It seems they were curious about the uniform and couldn’t help but want to try it. Well, there indeed were concerns that remaining in such lewd outfits around the orphans would’ve caused a negative influence on the children, but this is not fun for me at all?
「Hey, Maid Girl? Lately a very popular employee of the souvenir store Maid Girl? Want an underling? It’s super cheap, basically a dump sale, since it’s a middle-aged man, rather, I’d like to dump him off somewhere? I mean, I bought a middle-aged man with mushrooms, but since it’s a middle-aged man, I don’t need it. Even if I wanted to put him to work he is an idiot, and a middle-aged man, a trashed one at that, basically useless, only good with swinging his swords, so maybe you need some disposable underling for chores? 」
「Do I need him, you ask? Any country on the continent would gladly pile up the money if they heard that Magic Swordsman Wismregzero would become their ally, you know? It’s an extremely appealing offer, but… Calling him a trashed middle-aged man after being the one who beat him up, are you a demon?! As far as bodyguards of royalty go, Wismregzero will prove to be the strongest one on the continent when we eventually return to the Royal Palace. He is the swordsman that was called the Hidden Blade of the Confederation. Is that fine with you?」
He is an all-round type, but he is especially strong against assassins. An extremely strong assassinator of assassins when it comes to orthodox fighters or interpersonal-combat specialists. A good suit for a bodyguard.
Most likely, the Confederation is about to pull out. They were trying to make vast profits through vast investments, but as of now, they are yet to make any gains, and only losses keep mounting, and the trend is going to continue until they withdraw. This information should’ve reached the Confederation’s higher-ups by now. If they are smart they will try to immediately cut their losses. A merchant would definitely do that.
But politicians larping as merchants won’t. If the Merchant Confederation splits and falls into disarray the illusion of a merchant country will cease to exist. The politicians won’t be needed anymore, and the fake merchant politicians who were profiteering from politics won’t have a choice but to perish. And if they do pull out, then it will only leave them with underhanded methods, such as assassinations, or abductions? However, we already took the initiative when it comes to abductions, but I don’t really need a middle-aged man though?
「At the moment, Stalker Girl’s clansmen went to kidnap the old man’s little sister, dragging the old man with them, so the official contract comes after they kidnap her, but he probably will remain just as middle-aged even after they drag him back? Besides, there is no place for middle-aged men in the Souvenir Store, so the only option is throw him underground, but it’s about time the Capital’s underground dwellers come with complaints, like, hello there? Hmm, I wonder if underground people are demihumans? Or perhaps monsters? Rather, middle-aged men are the actual monsters here? Which means, it’s probably fine to annihilate them? Well, putting middle-aged men aside, since you are constantly with Royal Girl the Royal Palace doesn’t have any bodyguard Shadows? Are you short on people? Or just neglecting the Playking? Well, he is a player and a middle-aged man, so it’s not like I care.」
The little sister should be here pretty soon since 『Beautiful Female Knights Welcome Carriage』 luxurious and gorgeous carriage modified for high speed travel went to pick her up with an extravagant escort of Armored Pres-san. To think horsie-san would level up from me randomly playing around by running over or trampling highwaymen, turning it into an even faster and stronger high-speed carriage DELUXE? I was slightly saddened with the way the cute horsie-san turned into something a supreme ruler of post-apocalyptic would ride, but since horsie-san was happy, I guess it’s fine?
The biggest issue and the biggest threat to the existence of the Confederation list is the fact that Armored Pres-san is the escort. Yeah, I’m quite sure they will have no problem coming back undetected by anyone, but discovering that might doom the Confederation to a total destruction, so I’m praying that they will manage to carry out the kidnapping in secret. The world has things that are better left unseen and unknown. I’m sure Poster Girl’s family also doesn’t want to know that they were taking money for lodging from a dungeon emperor and a dungeon master, who are constantly loitering around their inn. The entire family might break into a dance if told about that?!
Well, that’s actually the fault of the middle-aged gatekeeper at the gates of the Frontier’s town? He is the one who said that it’s 『Fine』? I did nothing wrong? He is the one who said that, so the entire responsibility lies on him. I mean, he was even patting Slime-san?
「All of the Royal Family’s skilled bodyguards and shadows went with the first and the second princes, so we are short on people. Even if we capture the Princes, the shadows that chose to pick a side in political struggle cannot be trusted. However, the name of Magic Swordsman Wismregzero is itself a threat. Him merely staying in the Kingdom will be more dependable than dozens of shadows. His presence in the Royal Palace alone is the most terrifying defense. However, are you truly fine with this? If kept near he would make for the strongest bodyguard.」
Having old man McKenzie as a guard? Just what exactly one is supposed to protect this souvenir shop from? I mean, they are out at the moment, but this is a souvenir store where an Ex-Dungeon Emperor playing with sickle and chain, and an Ex-Dungeon Master going jiggle-jiggle, usually can be found? Also, why are the orphans so happily learning to use the sickle and chain? Just what are they trying to become? If they are chasing after her then the continent might quite easily perish? That is something that shouldn’t be mass produced, even out of world peace concerns? Hmm, mass production of Dungeon Emperor class orphans… This kingdom might be done for.
「I mean, the strongest bodyguard was getting his ass kicked, so he is sort of useless? Also, he is being a huge show-off with that 『Sword-Killing Sword』but the age is sickle and chain, you know? It’s flying at the very edge of fashion, with its edge coming at most radical angles, so it’s crazy dangerous? It’s a really dangerous age when an innocent highschool boy daydreaming of wardrobe malfunction might have neck and head malfunction happen at any given moment? And there is even a comeback from Morning Star-san awaiting outside? And, oh my, would you look at that, a tragic beaten-up AFTER is miraculously going to follow, so yeah, a middle-aged man as a bodyguard won’t be of any use? Kind of?」
But why do I have to take care of some middle-aged man’s employment? I mean, I’m Jobless myself? Before worrying about other people I’d first have to break the ice tip off the glacial epoch of my unemployment, and if that was turned into shaved ice it probably might sell pretty well, but is there summer in this world? Are there any seasons at all? Or rather, do the four seasons exist here? If this world doesn’t have summer then making all those swimsuits was a total waste! Even though I worked so hard! I did make profits from that though. And I also worked very hard in bed too?
「I was racking my brains on what we should do when we retake the Royal Palace, with its defenses being completely neutered at the moment… But now that I think of it, the very culprit responsible for destroying its defensive equipment, and moreover, even stealing the cornerstone of defense 『Everlasting Trap』 is right in front of me… Even if a treasured relic of the Royal Family was just lying around, carrying it off like that is impudent without measure, in the first place, it’s obviously a theft. To begin with, even brazenly infiltrating into the Royal Palace, furthermore, without even making any effort of concealing oneself, is extremely impertinent, and deserves a hanging, drawing, and beheading, with putting that insolent head on display!……(Followed by sermon)」
Oh, a girl from the Stalker Girl’s clan! They tend to immediately disappear as soon as they are done with the report. Their faces are hidden by cloth, so I can’t be sure, but there is high hope they should be pretty. I mean, just look at the size of their breasts!
「Reporting. The noble district is on the verge of bankruptcy, servants, hired butlers and maids have begun to run away. They are already running low on money, and started selling family heirlooms and armory. A certain souvenir shop seems to be making big profits by purchasing them at dirt cheap prices. Consequently, three additional morning stars were deployed in the souvenir store. 」
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