It was late at night. Lara managed to enter the Temple of Glory without being seen. Thanks to her cleverness, Konny borrowed an identification card from one of the employees working in the manor. Using the card, no one knew that Lara was the daughter of Isadora.
Lara entered the temple and stood in front of a lithographic stone filled with records of the saintess. The lithographic stone was a very old relic. The newest one would be at least 100 years old, meanwhile, the oldest one would have been there for hundreds of years. At first, she could not believe the content, life was not some kind of traditional fairy tale after all.
‘If I am the real saintess.’
Saintesses were God’s vicegerent and the medium for calling God.
‘If you really do exist.’
Saintesses marveled with the virtue of divine authority and set law and justice right on this land.
‘You must be listening to my voice.’
Lara stood in front of the lithographic stone and clenched her fist.
‘Answer me. Tell me why it should be me.’
At that moment, a scene struck her head like a bolt from out of the blue.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
It was a day in her past─the day Lara visited the temple long after she became a fake saintess. Although she was pressured by the prince to become a saintess, she did not believe in God nor did she like the atmosphere unique to the temple. So she was always in the royal palace.
That day, Lara was forced to come to the temple by order of her father and the Prince. She sat alone in a spacious prayer room, with her body covered in a heavy, white dress. It was quiet and dark, save for a dim candle that lit up the edge of the prayer room. In the center of the room, there was a statue, depicting the image of God. And in front of that statue, there was a small fountain, making the sound of water dripping little by little. Her father and the Prince left her in the prayer room and did not show up for a long time, as they were making plans with the high-ranking officials of the temple to take the throne using the fake saintess.
She was bored and lonely. She was nervous and tired. After realizing that there were no people in the large prayer room and that there were only statues that represented various gods, Lara’s back tickled, as if someone was watching her.
That was the reason. Because there was no one. Because she thought there was no such thing as God. Because she still did not get punished despite pretending to be a fake saintess and deceiving people.
Lara got up from the chair and approached a statue standing in front of the prayer room.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The sound of water dripping sounded like a heartbeat. Lara approached the statue as close as she could reach it, and looked closely into the face of God. She heard it was made by stonemasons a long time ago, but it was as beautiful as if it was completed yesterday.
What kind of God is it? What’s his name? What does he rule? What does he teach?
Even though he looked cold without a facial expression, somehow Lara felt warmth through him. Everything seemed mysterious, from his androgynous face, which may be a man or a woman, to his slightly drooping eyes, to his lips that seemed to say something.
Why did I do that?
Lara just could not understand. No matter how young she was at that time, she could not have done that out of curiosity. All she could say was that she was bewitched.
Lara approached God. The statue stood still with his two hands held out slightly. Lara put her body in between his hands and leaned slightly against God’s chest. The touch of the cold hard stone could be felt through her dress. She felt as if the stationary statue was pulling her in like a magnet.
While in God’s embrace, Lara stared at his face. Then she kissed his cold lips. She stole God’s lips.
It was an incredibly thrilling experience. It was an unforgivable action of immorality and an intense sense of freedom. Lara—who had been controlled from laughing and walking for a long time—felt an indescribable pleasure at that moment.
No one will know. Who cares?
Lara laughed with her lips moving up and down as she saw the faint smear of her lip mark on the statue. After picking up her disheveled veil and going back to her seat, everything in the temple—which felt scary and awkward at first—seemed different. She felt as though it would not feel so bad coming to the temple from now on.
It became a secret that Lara kept to herself for a long time. She had never told anyone and she had never been caught by anyone.
That day, she felt like a villainess who seduced God and corrupted him.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
“Ah.”
After finishing her reminiscence, a distorted smile came to Lara’s lips. A cold sweat broke all over her. Her gaze turned to the main hall of the temple, where the prayer room was located.
The statue would still be there. Lara walked quietly to the prayer room, leaving Konny, who was looking around in the distance. The priests who were guarding the temple at night occasionally turned their eyes on her. However, there were a lot of believers who came to pray even at night, so she did not raise much doubt.
The prayer room was exactly as she remembered. A dim candle lit up the edge of the prayer room, and a small fountain was installed in front of the statue which she kissed.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The sound of water dripping regularly like clockwork could be heard. Lara walked confidently into the open prayer room. Then, she approached the statue without hesitation and raised her head straight.
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
She had already died once and now it was her second life. She knew this life was a precious opportunity that would never happen again. Thus, she could not live with her eyes closed as if she knew nothing like before.
“What do you want from me?”
Don’t tell me I was chosen because of that kiss.
She suddenly remembered the event that she had completely forgotten, but she believed that was not the real reason. But as if to ridicule her thought, God spoke to her.
<Are you living your second life without any regret?>
She was so surprised that her legs gave out. Lara, who had been stumbling, managed to stay balanced and stood properly. She looked around quickly, but there was no one but her in that spacious prayer room. Lara’s trembling eyes reached the statue. The cold statue glowed with a faint light.
“Are you really…God?”
<Some people call me that.>
“Then are you the demon?”
<There was a time I was called like that.>
God’s voice was very mysterious. Lara did not listen to him through her ears, as he spoke directly to her in her head. She could not tell whether he was an adult or a child, a woman or a man. It seemed like he was smiling, and it also seemed like he was angry.
“Then what should I…what should I call you?”
<I have lost such a thing as a name. Everything you people put on me was just a modifier that disappeared without value.>
“Tell me. Am I the saintess that you chose?”
<Aren’t you the one who chose me?>
“Pardon?”
<You chose me as your God. You woke me up from my long, deep slumber with that insolent kiss.>
Lara could not understand. Had she knew this would happen, she would have studied theology harder. She regretted that she paid no attention to the study because she thought she did not need it even when she was a fake saintess. Lara clasped her sweaty hands and barely managed to ask her question.
“Is it because I kissed you?”
<You’re the first saintess to choose God that way. Perhaps it was the same for other Gods.>
She did not want to admit it. Lara did not want to be a saintess. She needed to tell him to take it back.
“My apologies but please reconsider it. There are many people in the world who are better than me.
<Why do you say that?>
“I just want to have a normal life.”
<I see.>
Then, God asked her.
<Then, would you like to go back to your first life?>
“…What?”
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