The memory of that nightmare was still vivid.
“He passed away.”
“What…?”
“It is something he wanted for a long time, and it was his own will. Even if I am his disciple, I have no right to stop him from doing what he wants.”
A woman with black hair like her. She wasn’t that bad. To be honest, there weren’t many things that could enter her mind, but there were definitely a few points that she couldn’t ignore. Moreover, looking back, Sedi probably didn’t hate her that much.
However, when she’d heard that, Sedi had almost killed that woman, Min Ha-rin, in an instant.
“You… What the hell are you talking about?”
There were certainly several reasons why she was emotional and angry.
Her detached expression and low tone. All of this showed her that Min Ha-rin was trying to maintain her composure.
Had she lost her mind?
Could this woman really show that attitude when talking about her Master’s death?
Min Ha-rin’s face came closer. It was none other than her that made that so. Before Sedi realised, she had grabbed Min Ha-rin by her collar and pulled her closer.
“…don’t try to beat around the bush, tell me straight. What happened to Father?”
In fact, she already knew. She probably did.
Nevertheless, maybe, maybe it wasn’t like that, it wasn’t possible.
She denied reality. And desperately hoped that the answer she received was different from what she expected.
“He’s dead.”
She couldn’t breathe. Her chest felt tight and her mind went blank.
While this happened, her mouth moved and asked.
“…dead?”
“Yeah.”
“And you… just left him alone?”
Min Ha-rin’s mouth opened again. She probably had something to say about the situation.
But Sedi couldn’t accept it.
Babump, Babump.
Her vision shook with her heartbeat. Before she realised it, the surroundings felt like they had turned black, and it felt like every sound had become distant as if her eardrums had ruptured.
“…right. It’s fine since you guys survived, since he saved your lives.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Shut. Your. Mouth.”
If that was really true, that wouldn’t have happened.
Did he really want to die?
Then what about her?
Was the relationship with her not important for that person? Was it so insignificant that he wouldn’t say anything to her in the face of death?
…She knew. In the end, Sedi was the one who’d forced herself to be his daughter, and it was Sedi who clung to the title of family.
Nevertheless, Lukas accepted her stubbornness.
“I won’t accept this.”
It would be more accurate to say that she couldn’t accept it.
She felt like if she accepted the facts that were revealed as they are, she would go crazy.
* * *
…When her head cooled, she realised something.
Just because Min Ha-rin was like that didn’t mean she wasn’t sad. She must have been experiencing pain similar to Sedi.
However, funnily, in the face of the death of a loved one, a mortal appeared far more mature than Sedi.
Even if it was just an act, it was still amazing. Because Sedi couldn’t even do that.
—I respect and accept Master’s choice.
The Min Ha-rin in her memory seemed to make that claim.
“Was your answer correct?”
Was it correct to accept both Lukas’ choice and death?
‘…’
No. That wasn’t right.
That might be the correct answer for Min Ha-rin. Even for that woman named Beniang. And it might also be the right choice for the other disciples as well.
However, it wasn’t for Sedi Trowman. It never was.
A daughter could never accept her father’s death so easily.
“In any case, it is Father’s life… I won’t say childish things like that.”
Sedi wiped her tears.
Then she looked up at the sky with her swollen red eyes.
“Just… because I want to.”
That was all.
That was why, from now on, what she was going to do was completely self-righteous. Sedi understood and accepted that fact first.
Her desperation to meet Lukas again was a complete denial of the choice of Lukas, who had some kind of ulterior motive.
It was no different from that.
* * *
A lot happened.
And she gave up a lot.
It got harder day by day, but her desire for her goal did not fade in the slightest. It made her happy, but on the other hand, she was also scared. She couldn’t tell what would happen if that aspiration disappeared.
She was afraid, but she didn’t give up.
At some point, she stopped moving and recalled her goal.
And she found a clue to make her wish come true.
* * *
It stung. But that was it.
Lukas rubbed his cheek.
It didn’t hurt as much as her previous attacks. Or at least that should have been the case, but that slap on the cheek hurt more than his tingling chin or throbbing stomach.
“It’s Trowman.”
Sedi’s voice still didn’t change as she spoke.
“…you’re still saying that.”
“I will say it over and over again. And I mean it. This kind of act doesn’t work for Father, you should give up.”
“You think I’m acting?”
“I don’t want to answer any more silly questions.”
Sedi touched her hand. It was the hand that had slapped Lukas’ cheek.
“I know you’ve been through a lot. It must have been really hard. It still looks like it is.”
“…”
“You asked me earlier, didn’t you? Whether it would make a difference if you told me, did you mean that?”
“Of course…”
“Look at me and say it.”
Don’t just put your eyes on me.
The words she’d just said. And the end of her words that she’d stopped herself from saying before.
The words he heard.
“Are you hesitating because it’s hard to even talk about? How immense were the things you went through?”
“…what are you trying to say?”
The corners of Sedi’s mouth rose. In other words, she smiled.
“…ah. Well, I just have a bit of doubt. From Father’s perspective, it might seem mind boggling, but it might not really be such a big deal.”
“Do you think I’m exaggerating?”
“I didn’t say that.”
He knew in his head. That this was just a childish provocation.
Nothing more than a half baked provocation to make Lukas open his mouth.
Even Lukas knew that.
“What do you know about me?”
And yet, a clear, angry voice still came out of his lips.
“Do you know what it’s like to always be forced to make unwanted choices? Do you have any idea what it feels like to not be able to die when you want to, and not be able to live when you want to?”
“Really? It must have been hard.”
The smile disappeared from Sedi’s lips.
“Then what about Father? Do you know how I felt? I hope you didn’t forget. You willfully chose to die in the preliminaries.”
For a moment, Lukas didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sure you thought it was a death without regrets. Right. Well. I was the one who forced Father to take on the role. You probably didn’t even think about me before you died.”
“No. That…”
“Be quiet. It’s my turn to talk.”
Lukas closed his mouth.
“Do you know how it felt when Father died like that? Like that person didn’t have anything to do with me. It was so ridiculous that you didn’t even leave a single word for me before you died.”
“…”
Lukas recalled that time.
Just before leaving to fight Nodiesop, when he had been ready to accept his death, when he’d finished his final farewell with Min Ha-rin.
He had only felt carefree at that time. He had only thought that he would finally be able to escape his dreadful fate. He didn’t even spare a thought for Sedi.
“I’m sorry.”
He couldn’t help but apologise for that. But Sedi’s expression became worse.
“Shit. I didn’t bring it up because I wanted to hear something like that. Just because I showed my emotions doesn’t mean I became childish. I just…”
“…”
“…like Father told me a long time ago. I thought about it since then. How a father should treat his daughter. What you can do for me. An ideal…”
Sedi’s voice became a bit hoarse.
“…the ideal father-daughter relationship.”
Those were obviously Lukas’ words.
“I mean. I did the things Father said. I thought about it seriously, more seriously than anything else in my life. That’s why, when I heard Father had died, all I could think about was meeting you again somehow.”
“…”
“And this is my answer.”
Sedi took a half step forward.
Then, without hesitation, she embraced Lukas.
“…”
This was the first time in his life that Lukas had felt such warmth.
“I will fight for you.”
Something seemed to rise up in his throat.
“No matter what it is, I will get rid of everything that bothers Father.”
It was then that he realised the reason.
No one had ever said something like that to Lukas.
Everyone, including his closest friends, considered Lukas as someone to rely on. Even Kasajin, the only one with a different attitude, wanted a relationship where they supported each other.
This was the first time.
That a person wanted to take over that responsibility instead.
Lukas had always been someone’s shadow. He’d been their shade.
And now.
The daughter he’d forgotten, and had continued to forget, was trying to become his shadow. She was telling him that she would fight instead.
Those words choked him up.
“So just say something. All I want is for Father to look at me and tell me.”
It was at that moment that countless voices resounded in his head.
[What the hell are you doing? Lukas.”
[Why are you hesitating? You aren’t really considering what she said, are you?]
[That’s not going to work. Why do you think we allowed you to absorb us and gave you our strength?]
[…it is your responsibility. We entrusted you with our unfulfilled dreams because we wanted a ‘Lukas’ with another possibility to accomplish them.]
The pain, which felt like his brain was being stabbed by a needle, faded a bit.
So he could ignore it.
“Then will you listen?”
Lukas spoke.
“The situations I was in. The things that happened.”
For the first time, Sedi truly smiled.
“Tell me.”
* * *
He talked.
Lukas told Sedi about his situation.
It was the complete opposite of what happened earlier. Sedi only asked a few simple questions which never interrupted the flow and just listened to Lukas. There was hardly any change to her expression.
Lukas’ voice was the only sound in the room, but the atmosphere was tender.
And when his story ended, Sedi said bluntly.
“I’m sorry.”
“…huh?”
Lukas was taken aback by the sudden apology.
“The things Father went through, were really no joke. I understand why you didn’t even want to think about it. You could hardly afford to… Shit. If that God guy, was still alive, I’d love to kick his ass.”
“…”
“Anyways, okay. I’ve received Father’s request.”
“Received?”
Sedi spoke in an indifferent manner.
“The woman called Pale is bothering you, you are curious about the identity of the Beginning Wizard, and you want to know the truth about the Castle*. Is there anything else? (TL: When referring to *what I assume to be* the Void King’s castle, I’ll use ‘Castle’ as a way to differentiate it.)
“…”
Lukas…
Thought that his situation was more complicated than that. There were many things that he wanted to accomplish, and he thought that none of them could be solved immediately.
But when laid out by Sedi like that, his goals didn’t seem as great as he thought.
“That’s true, but…”
“Good.”
Sedi got up from her seat. Then, she turned around as if she was going somewhere.
“Where are you going?”
“To take care of the closest one.”
“The closest?”
“Pale. Isn’t she still in Demonsio?”
With a wicked smile, Sedi cracked her knuckles.
“Let’s start with that woman. After all, I still owe her something.”
(TL: T~T Sedi is our best girl.)
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