Chapter 203
Poliana opened her mouth to answer, but Sir Ainno did not wait for her. There were so many things he needed to fix, and he needed to keep this as short as possible. Sir Ainno said to her, “Did his highness get mad at you? Did he yell at you? If so, don’t get upset. He’s just drunk, that’s all. Or did his highness take you to his bed? If he did, it’s because he was drunk, so don’t think too much about it. If you are upset, then just marry him.”
Poliana lowered her face. It was becoming harder to control her tears. She whispered, “I… It’s all my fault. If I didn’t find you that day when we were doing the cleansing ritual… Things would’ve been okay. I found you and that is why I ruined everything. That must be why Lady Rebecca…”
A normal kind person would’ve tried to console Poliana, but Sir Ainno was definitely not a nice person. He was an impatient bastard, so without thinking, he punched her in the stomach for being stupid. He regretted it immediately after, but it was too late. Poliana kneeled on the ground with a gasp.
Sir Ainno knew punching her wasn’t the smart thing to do at the moment, but he didn’t feel sorry. What Poliana was saying was ridiculous, and it clearly showed on his face. Poliana saw his expression and nodded, knowing that he was right. What she said was stupid indeed. As soon as she got up, however, she tried to kick his shin. Sir Ainno evaded her attack easily and raised his fist again. Poliana immediately apologized to him, “I’m sorry. I misspoke.”
“Alright. As long as you know you are being stupid, it’s okay, I guess. Now, whatever his highness might have done or said tonight to you, just forget about it.”
Poliana’s face darkened again at the mention of the emperor, making Sir Ainno feel even more annoyed.
‘Why do I have to waste my time consoling this woman?’
Poliana was the woman his friend loved, but it was unlikely that things would work out between them. Sir Ainno’s eyebrows cringed angrily before he took a deep breath to calm down. He thought logically, ‘I guess even if they don’t become a couple, I should at least try my best to make sure their relationship doesn’t worsen.’
Sir Ainno said to her, “His highness probably didn’t want to show you his weakness.”
“No, it’s not that. I am the one who made a mistake. I was being arrogant; I overestimated my importance.”
“I am telling you that that’s not it! Just how many times do I have to explain? Until now, you have only seen the best sides of his highness! The emperor just didn’t want to ruin your perception of him.”
No man would ever want the woman he loved to see him cry like a baby after his wife died. As a matter of fact, it would be the same situation for a woman too. A woman would never want the man she loved to see her crying after her husband dies.
To Sir Ainno, Lucius the First was a good friend and his emperor who needed to be protected. To Poliana, Lucius the First was the greatest emperor and the ruler she served.
It was likely that the emperor probably didn’t want anyone to see him like this tonight.
Sir Ainno said to Poliana, “You and his highness are both too emotional.”
Sir Ainno was indeed a jerk. Just because this wasn’t his problem, he talked like this wasn’t a big deal. Poliana felt bitter, knowing Sir Ainno had everything. Both of his parents were still alive; he also had a younger brother who had a healthy wife and children. On top of that, the woman he loved was still very much alive and healthy.
Poliana became annoyed at Sir Ainno. She stopped crying, but she continued to sniffle. What Sir Ainno said was rude and hurtful, but unfortunately, it was the truth. The problem was, Lucius the First’s rejection hurt Poliana deeply.
She was fine when she was spurned by her parents and her colleagues. She didn’t even get angry at the time. But being rejected by the emperor… It felt too devastating. This couldn’t be helped because it was Lucius the First who made her into the Poliana Winter she was today. The emperor made her existence as the knightess of Acreia possible. Without him, Poliana would’ve died nameless somewhere in one of the countless battlefields she had faced.
Lucius the First was everything to Poliana. To her, he could do no wrong. What made Poliana angry at the moment was the fact that she crossed the line. This was her fault; she ruined everything.
Sir Ainno, realizing that he wasn’t going to be able to fix this, muttered, “I will see you tomorrow.”
He walked away quickly.
Poliana, without a word, returned to where she left her horse. Just like she entered the castle, she left by the side door available only for the people of importance.
‘Should I go home and drink?’
Only
She hated to be alone. She craved to feel drunk, but she also didn’t want to drink.
‘I don’t want to drink alone though…’
She tried to think of another place to go other than her own empty home. If Sir Howe and Sir Donau were here, she would’ve gone to them, but unfortunately, they weren’t in Yapa anymore. Lady Rebecca was no longer alive, so she couldn’t visit her either. She knew most of her closest guards must be on duty, so she couldn’t go bother them either. The other guards who were off duty were most likely at home with their families, and she certainly could not disturb them in the middle of the night.
Poliana thought she developed a good social circle around her, but the truth was, she had no one. There was no one she could visit this night to drink with her. She didn’t cry even when Lucius the First rejected her, but now, she was afraid her tears would roll down uncontrollably.
‘Dammit! I refuse to cry!’
Poliana rubbed her face vigorously and wished sadly, ‘I should’ve accepted the puppy when I had the chance.’
She regretted her decision. She was so lonely. Poliana wished she had someone, or even a dog, to keep her company this night.
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