83 You’re Not to Blame
Did Ta Lai have someone he loved deeply too…?
“I’m curious about your symbols . Will soul splitters suffer from punishment upon the sealing of it as well?” Nie Zun asked .
“We do, just as you would . This is something that was set in stone from the very start . A split symbol is a form of contract—this was the price to pay for capturing your souls . This contract had likewise given us abilities . It’s only a matter of perspective if you see the ability as a gift or the punishment as a curse . ”
“Why did you people capture us?” I asked furiously .
“There are some things that are beyond our control . Despite bringing you here, we still can’t recognize the soul we captured among the sea of people . ” Ta Lai replied .
“Resignation happens to any living person; soul splitters are no different . ” He laughed self-deprecatingly . “Soul splitters aren’t divine beings, just resigned humans . ”
I followed with a cold reply, “How great you are at concocting excuses . There are many things in the world that are aggravating, but to harm and ruin another’s life is a sin no matter how you try to explain it . ”
Ta Lai reciprocated with a calm smile . “Alright, alright . I’m not here to discuss the right or wrong, the sin or redemption . I’m here to teach you a lesson on combat, so let’s stop here with the discussion about life . For now, let’s teach you proper combat . ”
My eyes stared fixated on him . “I won’t be grateful . ”
He met my gaze, “I know . Let’s just treat this as a trade-off . This way, no one will be stuck in a difficult position . You’ll only have to remember what you promised . ”
“Aren’t you afraid I would regret it?”
His smile widened . “You won’t and even if you did, I’d have a way of making sure you can’t . ”
The words put me at great unease but I didn’t have any other option either . I am keenly aware of my own abilities; forget Du Yue, I am a far cry from even Jiao S .
“Fine, come on then . I’ll grant you an opportunity to be a teacher . ” I waved my hand, donning a facade of resolution as though I’m ready to risk everything .
“Even though you’ve both leveraged on your sense of touch to combat earlier, the method of usage could still be improved on . I hope you’ll be able to create the perfect combat tactic by combining both your techniques . I have to take a trip into Western District today; the obscured reason behind its decapitated state baffled me too . I hope you’ll be prepared by the time I get back; I’ll distort your senses once more and release my children again . ”
Laughing gleefully, he continued, “The children I’m unleashing will no longer be a child’s play, which is why I’m giving you time to think through your strategy .
“Oh, and you can use this time to talk things out as well; I’m sure there are a lot of things on your mind after our earlier conversation . ”
Once he was done, he rotated the jade ring in his finger in the direction of the ceiling . It opened with a swoosh from that small gesture .
I looked up to witness infinite darkness
The tip of his feet lightly touched the ground and he dived into the darkness . With his departure, the ceiling began to close up once more .
Nie Zun and I were the only ones left in the enclosed stone room .
I tilted my head towards him; with both hands stuck into his pocket, he headed straight for the corner of the room, returning to his favorite posture––leaning against the wall with a slight slouch .
The torch near him flickered quietly, lighting up just half of his face .
I opened my mouth to ask the innumerable questions echoing in my head, but couldn’t find the words to start . Through the torch, I watched him in silence .
Slowly, his indifferent gaze met mine without a word . In depths of his eyes, the flame danced and rippled . Just like this, the two of watched each other in stillness .
Eventually, I was the one to break the silence, “You… Can you tell me the cause of your arrival into the split zone?”
A slight smile graced his features; so faint that one would miss it without careful observation . “I thought you’d ask about this hand of mine first . ” At that, he raised his left hand .
I pursed my lips into a tight smile but didn’t reply .
I pursed my lips into a tight smile but didn’t reply .
Unhurriedly, Nie Zun pulled out his right hand and tugged at the glove on his left . His slender, pale hand stretched towards me . As though attracted by an enchantment, his hand lured me a step closer, and then another .
I met his eyes for a split second when I arrived before him, before dropping it towards his outstretched hand . The palm of his hand which had been facing the ground turned upwards lightly .
There was no palm prints on them .
Through the days and nights I had spent with him, even though I rarely saw him without his gloves but it wasn’t the first time witnessing it either . Still, I’ve never taken particular note about them until today . When he flipped his hand over, revealing his palm without reservations, I could clearly see his loneliness .
With the amount of supernatural books I’ve read, I didn’t need any explanation from him . I knew… that anyone without palms prints was said to have a cursed life . Likewise, without need his illustration of his back-story, I could already imagine the difficulties and agony he had been through in his previous life .
It wasn’t the ‘cursed life’ that had made him suffered, but the rumors . Spirits and ghosts were never the scariest entities in this world; beyond those, there were humans who were immensely more vicious .
For him to be the owner of this cursed palm, I’m sure he must have suffered great discrimination growing up, especially if unfortunate events had coincidentally occurred in his family .
The animated discussion from an innumerable crowd of people sounded in my mind once more .
“She’s a freak!”
“Stay away from her!”
My heart felt like it was drowning from a sudden surge of tide, and my eyes welled up . Before I could even stop myself, I reached out my own hand, laying it above his palm .
I watched the flicker in Nie Zun’s eyes for a moment . In that second, he looked like a helpless, frightened, child . With my palm against his own, my hand atop of Nie Zun’s, the chill of his hand pulsed into mine .
His body had always been this cold .
A prickling sensation of pain began to extend through our contact; though he hadn’t fused his MF into his palm, after those days of soaking them in chemicals, they were no longer soft to touch .
A prickling sensation of pain began to extend through our contact; though he hadn’t fused his MF into his palm, after those days of soaking them in chemicals, they were no longer soft to touch .
I didn’t mind, though . Just like that, I met his eyes with my palm on his . Still, there was a nagging feeling that I’ve missed something .
What was it…?
Oh!
That’s right, the ring!
I lowered my head in haste, removing my hand and flipping his hand over once more . My eyes dropped towards the skull ring on his pinky finger .
I’ve seen it before, but hadn’t felt the same peculiar sensation I did today .
As I stared at the lacquered black, exquisitely carved skull ring, I couldn’t help muttering under my breath, “This ring… Why does it look so familiar? Why… can’t I remember?”
I felt a sudden squeeze on my left shoulder; clasping his glove on his right hand, Nie Zun held it against my shoulder .
Lifting my head, I met his gaze again in unintentional intimate distance . My mind was once again captured by the waves behind his eyes .
A glint of glee flickered across his eyes, the corners of his lips arched upwards . “Tsk, tsk . You can’t cast your greedy eyes upon other people’s gem . ”
Hearing his teasing tone, I grew furious from embarrassment and took a step back immediately, letting go of his hand in the process . “Who would even care about it . ”
Despite those words, only I knew that my action came from the desire to distance myself from him; perhaps it was the powers behind his eyes, but I found myself being pulled into his gaze every time our eyes meet, and I’m unable to turn away .
… Ah, it’s probably because of the powers in his eyes!
As expected, he was just like a demon; his entire being was the epitome of mystifying danger!
Nie Zun was laughing to his heart’s content . “Aren’t you going to ask about my printless palm?”
As expected, he was just like a demon; his entire being was the epitome of mystifying danger!
Nie Zun was laughing to his heart’s content . “Aren’t you going to ask about my printless palm?”
I swept a glance at him . “So what if you have no palm prints? According to speculations, didn’t that just mean you have a cursed life? Did you really expect me to believe in those?”
The smile was still hanging on his lips, but a glint of misery flickered momentarily in the depths of his eyes . “I didn’t believe it before either, but… what if I said I have begun to? I really do feel like I have a cursed life; I’ve always brought misfortune upon the people around me…”
Nie Zun looked over at me with a self-deprecating smile . “Who knows, maybe you were cursed by me too . Haven’t you always condemned the fusion between your second personality and I? Who knows, maybe it was this cursed palm at work . ”
He lifted said hand and gave it a short wave .
I stared straight back at him . “I’ll admit, Nie Zun, that I am still brooding over the fact that my second personality had resonated with you . I knew none of this was your fault but I was still stubborn in growing my hatred towards you . That has nothing to do with you, you haven’t done anything wrong . The reason behind all that was only because I didn’t think I could persevere if I didn’t at least hate you a little .
“Perhaps I wouldn’t be able to stop this hatred despite all the days we had spent together, with you protecting me by my side . Even so, I knew very clearly that you’re not at fault . Whatever cursed life you think you have, I’ll neither sympathize with you nor blame you for it . I’m here because of the karma I’ve incurred from killing another; you don’t have to carry this sin for me . ”
His eyes softened drastically; maybe it was the flicker of lit torches that was playing tricks on my eyes . “If this cursed life of mine has the right of carrying your sin on your behalf, I’ll be more than willing . ”
I raised a brow . “When did you get so kind?”
Nie Zun laughed and his pale left hand touched his nose . “It’s a cursed life anyway; there isn’t much use for it . Since it’s cursed, I’m sure it could at least deflect against minor mishaps . ”
I fixed my gaze right into his . “It’s not a cursed life . You might have face unfortunate events in your life—perhaps those were the work of fate or mere coincidences—but they were definitely not your fault . ”
“I can’t even be sure that they were not my fault, how can you be this decisive about it?” His voice reverberated clearly in this stone room .
I tilted my head with a slight smile . “Because I’m Li Shen . ”
The flame hanging along the stone wall quivered abruptly, as did the glow reflected against Nie Zun’s face .
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