Chapter 849: The Last (82)
‘It does seem like I haven’t seen him in a really long time.’
I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d seen him smiling like that.
‘It seems like he’s really happy to see me.’
I didn’t know if he was just trying to smile or really smiling, but his expression really did seem bright.
Perhaps Kim Hyunsung wasn’t that different from Cho Hyejin, Park Deokgu, and Hayan.
Maybe he was relieved that I’d spoken to him not as the Son of Light but as Lee Kiyoung…
He might think that once again, I was saving him.
I wanted to make a proper judgment based on the Regressor Instruction Manual, but I couldn’t understand what he was thinking because all kinds of emotions and thoughts were pouring out at once.
He was having trouble breathing, seemingly panicking, but he had calmed down slightly. My appearance seemed to be working, at least.
He looked like he was thinking about what to say first, how to say it, and whether or not to treat me as usual, but unfortunately, there were a lot of things I had to check too, so I couldn’t concentrate on personal matters.
‘I don’t feel physical pain.’
I was worried about what to do if it was painful, but there were no other symptoms than discomfort.
My voice had cracked, and I couldn’t walk properly, but it didn’t hurt. The worst thing that could have happened would have been to scream in pain as soon as I came down. Still…
‘I can’t use my abilities.’
It was similar to when I’d descended on Hyejin’s body.
‘This body’s physical ability is sh*t. Really.’
I’d already had that thought, but with this dying body, I couldn’t do anything else.
Unlike Cho Hyejin’s body, which seemed able to do anything, this vessel was helpless.
It was truly made to die.
And lastly…
‘Can I hurt myself?’
Identifying if I could kill myself was my priority. It might be a somewhat shocking scene for Kim Hyunsung, but… that’s why I’d come down in the first place.
I tried to bite my tongue for a moment, but…
‘I can’t.’
I wasn’t surprised; I’d kind of expected it.
‘Safety device.’
I didn’t think I had put a safety device on it, considering that I had come down, but it seemed like I’d made a way to resist outside intervention.
The system didn’t want me to hurt myself. Only the person getting the event could do that, and that was Kim Hyunsung. It was a bit annoying, but there was plenty of room to fix it.
If I spoke well and persuaded him, he wouldn’t have any other choice. I just had to explain it well. If I reminded him that this wasn’t my real body, that it was necessary, and that I would be back one day, I was sure that he would understand.
When I nodded slightly, he spoke to me right away.
“Are… Are you okay?”
“Yeah… My body feels a little uncomfortable, but I’m fine. I’ll explain in advance that this vessel is not mine. It’s an event object created on the continent that became a dungeon.”
“Uh… yeah.”
“So there is no need to panic, no need to look at me with those eyes.”
“Okay.”
“I am neither sick nor in pain. You must keep this in mind. I’ll say it again. I am…”
“It doesn’t hurt… you’re not in pain.”
“Yes, that’s it. It’s a bit messed up outside, but I have nothing to do with this event object. One more thing: nothing this entity has previously described has been a lie. The content of the quest is the disappearance of this event object, and if it does not disappear, there may be a situation where you may have to wage war with the outer god once again. Our goal is to destroy this event object. Do you understand?”
“…”
‘Answer me, you bastard.’
Okay. I’d expected this too.
“Our purpose is to clear this event. I am here to clear the main event, Sacrificed Saint.”
“…”
“What did I say?”
“I…”
“Yeah?”
“I… cannot sacrifice Kiyoung once again.”
‘Stop with the bullsh*t. Gosh.’
But it was just that meaningful. After all, the life of this Saint of Light was a life made of sacrifice.
I thought I could see why this event was named “Sacrificed Saint” rather than “External War.” Even in the smallest details…
‘She paid attention.’
Clearing the event “External War” and clearing the event “Sacrificed Saint” felt different.
For Kim Hyunsung, the difference would be even worse.
Clearing it in itself was a nuance since it required sacrificing a saint. I was certain that he would have an instinctive sense of rejection since he was already traumatized.
What’s more, if he remembered how the original war ended, there was no way he’d ever be able to do this again.
Even if I made him understand that it was necessary and there would be no other harm done to me…
‘It won’t be easy.’
However, I’d expected this too.
I noticed his slightly bitter face, his eyes fluttering after looking at me again.
There seemed to be a lot of things he wanted to say. He had probably put all his thoughts together, but it felt like he was checking what he would say once again.
I didn’t have to browbeat him. All I had to do was get the desired result within the given time, and if I encouraged him a little, we would be able to come to an agreement.
I thought it would be better to lead the conversation first. We couldn’t keep being so awkwardly silent. Now that I thought about it, I’d only talked about formal things and necessities. That hadn’t helped much.
“How have you been?”
Only then did he look a bit relieved.
“Ah… I mean…”
“No. Actually, you don’t have to tell me. I was watching everything.”
“What? Is… Is that true?”
“Yes. I was watching it all. I felt it too. Like your eyes were my eyes…”
“I see.”
“You were running around to find a way to save me…”
“Yes.”
“I also saw you trying to steal the spear that I gave to Hyejin.”
“Ah… I didn’t mean to steal it…”
“Hahaha.”
“…”
I walked slowly. It was a little difficult to move, but maybe he noticed my intention to walk.
Because, as expected, Kim Hyunsung moved with me, step by step.
Since it was a silent, snowy mountain with no monsters or humans, the sound of the snow being stepped on became even more pronounced.
“I also saw you struggling…”
“Yeah.”
“I saw you struggling a lot. I saw you walking around the guild alone and coming down with my body. And…”
“…”
“I was also watching you… trying to make extreme choices.”
“…”
“…”
“Why… Why did you stop me?”
“Because the continent needs you.”
I said that, but it wasn’t the best answer.
“And…”
This was.
“More than anything else, I didn’t want to watch you die.”
“…”
“Like I said back then… I wanted you to live.”
“…”
“I wanted you to forget everything, shine like before, and see you live like that. Even if I wasn’t there, I wanted to see everyone smiling, making memories, doing what you all wanted to do, and living happily. That was my wish. My wish for some specific human happiness is… strictly speaking, not allowed.”
I was almost shedding a tear.
“I am…”
“I knew it was hard.”
“I am a human being who doesn’t deserve to live…”
I just had to keep talking, not letting him talk.
“It’s not your fault. It is the fault of the demon who brainwashed you. Don’t think of the demon’s sin that made us doubt each other, which broke the bond we had. It was inevitable that I had to die.”
“For the continent?”
“Yes. It’s hard to explain exactly, but now that I’ve been given a new role, I think I’ll be able to get a glimpse of it. If it weren’t for you, I would have disappeared completely.”
“That doesn’t…”
‘What do you mean? That makes sense here.’
“That is nonsense.”
‘It isn’t.’
“I cannot fully understand what you’re saying, but I can tell you one thing for sure. I am the person who made y-you turn into that. I killed you… with my own hands. How can you say it’s not my fault? How could I forget that?”
“…”
“I still can’t get over it. I… don’t know what I thought when I ruined your throat, legs, and stomach like that… I don’t know what I had in mind when I did that…”
“That’s the demon’s…”
“It doesn’t matter! What I was thinking is important. I was laughing. Seeing you crawling on the ground, wanting to live somehow… in pain… how much… I laughed!”
‘I understand.’
Fuck, how good would that have felt? It had been a moment of revenge on the man who had completely ruined his life.
However, there was no need to tell him everything. It was weird to feel guilty about this.
“It is not something that you thought for yourself.”
I patted his shoulder a bit.
“They weren’t your own… thoughts.”
“Sniff… sniff… sniff…”
“That… wasn’t you.”
“I’m… sorry. Sniff… ugh…”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
“I’m… I’m sorry… for putting you in… pain.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“I’m really sorry for… killing you… I’m sorry… that I doubted you… that I couldn’t keep my promise… that I couldn’t give back as much as I received… that I left you alone… for everything… with everything.”
I gave a saintly smile that showed I understood him.
“Really… sniff… sniff… I’m really sorry.”
I gestured with holiness, forgiving him of his sins.
“This won’t be enough, but I’m really… sorry…”
The saint’s kindness seemed to melt even the snow that covered the mountains.
The sight was undoubtedly beautiful.
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