Just recalling his face made my hands and feet tremble for some reason. It wasn’t because I was angry. I simply had a difficult time understanding him.
‘I didn’t do anything wrong.’
Helping people was a very natural thing to do, yes, very natural.
‘He doesn’t know anything.’
No one ended up in the slums because they wanted to. Everyone here had their own stories to tell. There were people that didn’t get contacted by a guild or a clan and there were others that became disabled after hunting so they had no choice but to come here. There were also people that were thrown out into the streets because of a sick family member and there were others that couldn’t get a job. Simply put, it was society that led them to the streets. It was Lindel, no, the Holy Empire, no, this entire continent’s fault. It was a society that didn’t know how to care for the weak and was nothing more than a selfish society. They offered welfare benefits, but the people in the slums couldn’t take advantage of them. Since this continent only moved based on the people’s self-interest, someone had to step up and help these people.
“It’s going to be dangerous,” the man said.
“No, it won’t be dangerous,” I said.
“Well, regardless of what you think, it’s up to you, miss, but it would be best to at least prepare safety devices since we won’t know when and what kind of issues will occur,” he said.
“What makes you think that?” I asked.
“I actually want to ask you why you didn’t think about that,” he replied.
“The reason why you don’t understand me is that you’re not looking at the real them,” I told him.
“My answer is the same. The one that’s not looking at the real them is you, miss. They’re not simply poor and needy people. The ones that actually need help are those that are trying to better themselves, not the people that are lazily lying around doing nothing,” he explained.
“I don’t want to hear your lies anymore,” I told them.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure it sounds like a lie to you. Go figure,” he said sarcastically.
“Well then, I’ll take my leave now. I hope you’ll keep your promise,” I said.
“Your wish is my command. Please have a safe trip,” he said.
It wasn’t even worth answering, no, even if I go to the slum while looking like this, it wasn’t going to change anything. Actually, it wasn’t necessary for me to agree to this kind of silly proposal, but despite that, there was one reason why I decided to enter the slum alone.
‘I wasn’t wrong.’
Because I wanted to prove that I wasn’t wrong and I wanted to prove that he was wrong. There was a difference between watching them from afar and actually spending time with them. They were all innocent people. There was an old couple that cried and thanked me even though I didn’t do much to help them and there was even a child that picked a flower and gave it to me as a way of repaying me. For two years, I have seen many things that the man must have never seen since I spent a lot of time talking and being with them.
‘He was only able to say those things because he has never seen the realthem.’
When I started walking, I felt the atmosphere getting darker and even though I came here every day, it felt slightly unfamiliar. Despite the fact that it was time to eat, seeing as how I didn’t see the people that usually volunteered with me, I guess something came up and that was why they weren’t here.
This place had always been the same. There was a really bad stench, but I am already used to it. Maybe it was because I have gotten used to it compared to the first time because I was able to walk around without any issues. When I looked around me, I saw some people lying down lazily like always, people talking amongst themselves and others looking towards a different region. I also saw people taking care of children and couples that walked around arm-in-arm.
That man was right. This was also a place where people lived. A place where very ordinary people lived. There weren’t any amenities, restaurants, or houses that were in good condition, but for some reason, I smiled.
‘Great.’
When I walked in farther, I saw people gathered together.
‘The square.’
It couldn’t be seen as a proper square because it was an empty area, but once I arrived here, people naturally gathered in this area. This must be why it was called the square. Simply put, this place was symbolic because the people treated this place as their rest area. When I quietly sat down, I started seeing familiar faces.
‘I’m certain.’
He was one of the men that man recruited. I wasn’t sure why he was here since he was supposed to be at his workplace, but I assumed that he had his reasons.
When I was quietly looking around, I heard a loud voice. “Mr. Kim! You didn’t go to work today?”
“Ahhh, I quit,” Mr. Kim answered.
“What?”
“The work was really difficult. They told us to move some rocks, but I don’t think I’m fit for the job,” he said.
“What? Didn’t you say something about starting a new life?” the man asked.
“I did have that thought for a moment, but whether I’m working hard over there or just stuffing my face in the food that woman gives us, there doesn’t seem to be a big difference,” Mr. Kim explained.
“If someone hears you, they’ll talk badly about you,” the man said.
“Let them. Considering the situation, I don't think she's even going to visit today…I feel like I made a fuss by saying that I was going to work. What if she doesn’t come here anymore?” Mr. Kim asked worriedly.
“I’m sure she will. She’s probably feeling sick today.”
“A priest getting sick doesn’t make sense.”
“Or it could be that time of the month. Even if she’s a priest, she can’t avoid things that happen naturally,” the man said.
“That makes sense,” Mr. Kim said in agreement.
‘Huh?’
I couldn’t understand what they were saying so I listened closely again in case I heard them wrong, but I heard them right. They were having a conversation that I couldn’t understand.
‘Oh…’
“Ah, fuck…I’m starving…and I’m feeling sluggish…” Mr. Kim said.
“Hold on, I’ve never seen them before,” the other man said.
“Oh…”
They didn’t seem like they were referring to me specifically, but I couldn’t help but cower, so as I covered my face with my hand, I left the square. I had no idea why I ran away but I had the feeling that I must not stay there. Honestly, I no longer wanted to hear their conversation, but I didn’t have the luxury to think about different things at once.
‘You’re the one that made them that way.’
That man’s words kept repeating in my head.
As if the environment suddenly changed, I started seeing things that I couldn’t understand and I saw sights that I had never seen before.
“I’ll give you a discount,” a woman said.
“You have a good nose for money,” the man said.
“Well, that’s because I know you followed that man…so of course, I know,” the man said.
“Hahaha.”
The couple that was walking arm-in-arm didn’t look like a couple anymore. He became a middle-aged man that was looking for prostitutes.
“This is it?” a man asked.
“I-I’m sorry,” a child said.
“You lazy bastards…”
“Ahh!” a child yelled.
As expected, the man that was with the children wasn’t taking care of them.
The streets were filled with vagrants that quenched their thirsts with rum, the majority persecuting the minority and I heard voices of men harassing women. After vomiting on the street, they would simply leave and if there were people lying on the ground complaining about their pain, people would walk past them and pretend like they didn’t see them in pain.
“Hey, you!”
I was very shocked by the curse words that I had never heard before.
‘Of course.’
These things were the same everywhere else so there was no need for me to be swayed by it. Not judging the entire situation as much as possible was the right thing to do, but I couldn’t help but gulp when a thought suddenly popped into my head.
‘What if that man was right?’
What if I was the one that was wrong?
‘What if what I saw was only a part of it and what he saw was the entire situation?’
What if I was the one that hadn’t been looking at the real them all this time?
The different thoughts that I was having were making things complicated because I was seeing things that I had never seen before. When I was helping them, I had never seen these things happen around me.
‘I’m sure they were assailants at some point too.’
He was right. The people that I thought were the victims were also assailants. In some places, they were the assailants.
The reason why they didn’t become angry with me all this time was that I was above them and the reason why I didn’t become a victim all this time was because I was wearing nice clothes and was surrounded by a group of strong players.
But the situation right now was different. This was the moment when I realized why that man said that it was going to be dangerous.
‘I need to get out.’
Right now, I was also a member of this society. After gulping, I started to walk fast. “Don’t move if you don’t want to get stabbed.”
I heard a voice behind me. Their voice felt like it was covered in phlegm, but what worried me more than that was the blade that the person was holding behind me.
“E-Excuse…me?” I asked.
“It’s your first time here, right?” the man asked.
“...”
“I didn’t think that I would hit a jackpot like this. You think I wouldn’t notice if you wrapped yourself up with a hood like that?” he asked
“W-What…are you…”
“Are you playing dumb? Or do you really not know?” he asked.
“Please…don’t do this,” I begged him.
“You do realize how dangerous it is for you to wander around alone at night, right?” he asked.
“S-spare me…” I said.
“That depends on how much you have, so if you’re unlucky, you’ll die and if you’re lucky, you’ll live,” he said.
I had an idea about what was going on because I felt him place the blade on my back. Despite repeatedly thinking to myself that I needed to recite a spell, I couldn’t speak. The situation was very sudden and since it was my first time experiencing this, my legs were frozen. When I unknowingly collapsed to the ground, I felt him hit my head from behind.
“Kyahhhh!”
My body naturally fell to the side and before I could come back to my senses, I felt a strong grip grabbing my hair. I looked around desperately to ask for help, but the men that I saw quietly watched me as if they were enjoying it.
“H-Help…me…”
I saw familiar faces and the faces of people that showed themselves whenever I served them food. I saw them laughing together while looking my way.
I was sure that they all had their reasons and they were all innocent people, so I thought that they were definitely going to help me since I was in danger. But no one offered to help and instead, they either looked away or laughed while pointing their fingers. All of their reactions were the same.
“Please don’t do this. Please…spaaaaare!”
I felt a fist hitting my abdomen and their strong hand slapped my cheek. I felt like the inside of my mouth exploded and maybe it was because I was afraid, but I couldn’t scream. When I activated my holy power in order to recite a spell, I saw a large fist in front of my face.
“Ahhhh!”
“...”
“Please don’t do this. Don’t…someone please help me. Please…help me,” I begged.
“There’s no point in asking the others for help since they’re all like me,” the man said.
“T-That’s…not true,” I said.
“And you came here despite knowing that? And by yourself? Ha! Are you asking us to devour you or something?” the man asked sarcastically.
It only took me a moment to realize that the man was referring to the western part of the square, not the slums. I had a difficult time understanding why this was the area that I must not enter because whenever I came here to volunteer, I always walked through here. Before I could organize my thoughts, however, I saw a large face in front of me.
“Damn it, you’re broke,” the man said.
A part of his face was burned off, making it look like parts of his face were rotten. The foul smell from his mouth and body was so bad that it was nauseating.
“Ugh.”
“Lady, am I nauseating?” the man asked.
“N-No,” I answered.
My head turned again. Before I could feel pain on my left cheek, I felt his strong hand choking me. While I was having a difficult time breathing, I felt an unknown pain all over my body.
“Am I nauseating?!” the man screamed.
“Ahhhh!”
“Am I! Am I nauseating?!” he screamed again.
“S-Save. Someone…heahhhhhhh!”
‘I’m going to die…’
“Please he…”
“Lady, I don’t know why you keep asking for help, but…do you think anyone here is willing to help you? If you need help, you should visit the nearby clan vigilantes and ask them for help. There’s no one here that’s willing to help you, lady. They’re all bastards that are busy living their own lives…” he said.
“Please…”
“Hahaha,” the man laughed.
‘Help me…’
The people that were watching him wore excited looks as if they were looking forward to what was going to happen to me. They weren’t interested in saving me at all.
‘It’s going to be dangerous.’
“N-No.”
‘They’re assailants in some places.’
“Help me. Someone…please…” I said.
‘The people that need help are those that want to better themselves, not the people that are lazily lying around doing nothing.’
“I’m sorry. Please…help me,” I begged.
‘You’re the one that turned them into these lazy bastards.’
“Save me. I’m sorry! Please! Ahhhh! Stop! Stop!” I yelled.
“I told you so, lady saint.”
“Oh…”
“Didn’t I say that not all poor people were nice people?”
When I turned my head, I saw the face of the person I hated the most.
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