Song Yao’s luggage was placed right on the countertop of the kitchen. Inside the case was not clothes and makeup but vegetables and fruits…
Lin Nuan and Bai Xiaonian didn’t say a word.
When the food was ready, they brought the dishes to the table.
Song Yao looked down and took out a bottle of red wine from the luggage case and opened it. She lit up a cigar and smoked it stiffly as she let out a few coughs.
Bai Xiaonian snatched the half-finished cigar from Song Yao’s hands and put it out in the sink. “Don’t smoke if you don’t know how to!”
At the table, Song Yao poured herself a glass of wine. Her eyes were red as she pulled out another cigar and placed it in the corner of her mouth. Her movements as she held the lighter and attempted to light the cigar were shaky and stiff.
Bai Xiaonian didn’t stop her.
Song Yao put the lighter on the table and said, “I don’t dare to get drunk anywhere else, Nuan… is it alright if I get drunk at your place today just this one time?”
Lin Nuan nodded.
As she exhaled smoke, Song Yao’s tears streamed down her cheeks. Her expression was plain and she said half-heartedly, “I was actually thinking for a while about how to tell you this, but no matter how I phrase it, it’s going to sound weird, so I might as well tell you honestly. I slept with one of my investors who has been wanting to do it for a while.”
Song Yao’s words dropped like thunder. Bai Xiaonian was left in shock. She examined the wounds on Song Yao’s face and body and asked, “Where did these bruises come from? Did the investor have any weird kinks or did Su Huan do this to you?”
Song Yao shook her head and continued in an extremely pale voice.
“I broke up with Su Huan three months ago.” Song Yao looked down and took a whiff of her cigar, “I feel sorry for Su Huan, I thought I could be devoted to him, yet the truth is I just haven’t met a more attractive man yet.”
These years Song Yao and Su Huan were in a platonic relationship. Despite being in the filthy entertainment circle, Song Yao tried to preserve her naiveness and wanted to save her first time for her romantic wedding night.
Bai Xiaonian had previously made fun of Song Yao for being naive. She used the jerk Lu Jinbei as an example to tell Song Yao: if she was settled on marrying Su Huan, then she should make sure Su Huan was well fed. Otherwise, he would go hunting outside. Who knew only half a year later, something like that would happen.
Bai Xiaonian cut Song Yao off. “Does this man have a wife?”
“Something like that, he has a fiance.” Song Yao knew Bai Xiaonian hated mistresses the most. Her reddened eyes looked towards Bai Xiaonian whose expression just changed. “I had no idea before I slept with him, I always thought he was single. But even so… even if I knew he had a fiance, I would have still done the same thing!”
After a short pause, Song Yao looked down and continued, “If I had just graduated from school that year… naive like a sheet of white paper in my early twenties in the best years of my life, I would definitely still fight passionately and fearlessly. I would have sworn to show those people who climbed to power using those unspoken rules, that I didn’t use them myself yet I could still reach a height that they could only wish to see!”
Song Yao raised her glass and finished her drink in one sip. She put down her drink and continued…
“These years, I kept watching those artists who rose to fame and stole my roles playing by these unglamorous rules. Even if my acting skills were better, I still couldn’t compete with people who had support behind them. They received so many awards that their hands were getting tired from holding them, yet now even if I was just mentioned for an award I would only be a secondary role! I’m twenty-seven this year and almost turning twenty-eight. I look into the mirror and see wrinkles at the side of my eyes. My face is no longer filled with collagen, and even if I spend more money to buy more expensive skincare products it wouldn’t help preserve my looks when I was in my early twenties. After leaving PS I don’t have the kind of perfect and flawless skin my fans would admire! And I increasingly feel how short the careers of female artists are. I already know I can’t take much hardship anymore!”
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