Noah slowly muttered, narrowing her eyebrows to put what she felt into words, “It’s always hard for me to try to be loved. Especially when the relationship is lopsided.”
It is natural that the bigger your desire to be acknowledged by someone, the lower your confidence gradually gets. Happy with the other person’s small touch, disappointed and sad at their expressionless face. As everything about you gradually becomes more and more defined by the other person, you gradually become insignificant.
“If that feeling continues, I get confused. Whether I really love that person. I hate it, but on the other hand, I keep obsessing. Acting foolish, trying not to miss him. I think Adrian’s emotional state was very extreme, so on the one hand, I feel pitiful and a sense of sympathy,” Noah paused before continuing, “Honestly, I think I’m talking like this because I still haven’t given up on my lingering feelings.”
A sigh came from her lips. In fact, the brainwashing Noah had put on her family was stuck like a thorn in a corner of her heart all the time.
“Should I have talked more? But if I did, what would have changed? Rather, isn’t it better to completely erase them from my memory? But I don’t want to forget them. Since it is something that cannot be undone, it’s still lingering…”
Kyle was silent.
“Actually, all I wanted to do was make my place there.”
It would be nice if a relationship between people was something that could be cut, like an apple. It was quite similar that neither Noah nor Adrian could abandon their lingering feelings and had been dragged around by someone like a pushover.
Even if Noah died, she couldn’t forget her family, and even if Eleonora were dead, Adrian would be obsessed with her.
Even worse, the resulting extreme lethargy and burnout symptoms were similar in both cases.
“Well… What happens between a man and a woman must be resolved between them, not just some arranged reconciliation. He saved Eleonora because she had to pay a fair price for her sins. I think I just didn’t want to see Adrian fall into a deep depression,” Noah heaved a deep sigh. “Anyway, the same goes for my mother and father; and Eleonora too. They’re all such bad people. If I want to abandon them, it’s better to do it early.”
Kyle calmly listened to her for a while, which was somewhat rambling. The feeling of Noah’s hair escaping smoothly between his fingers felt good. It was only a few minutes after the lingering silence that he opened his mouth to speak
“Noah.”
“Yes…?”
“If your work is done, do you want to head back? ”
“Huh? ”
It was an unexpected question. As soon as Noah blinked without understanding what he said, Kyle slowly added, “I mean the place you used to live. Muell still has a few mediums heading there. It would be possible to return to the birthplace of Maobiana and open the entrance for a bit.”
“Oh…”
Oh, Muell he never even told… While she was at a loss for words, his friendly voice continued quietly.
“I don’t think the decision you made was wrong. But if that is still bothering you and making you uncomfortable, it would be better to resolve it differently. With me, of course.”
The last part he said was emphasized.
“Together. Noah.”
“Together…”
She needed a lot of time to try to digest the meaning of that word. This was because the thoughts that had been swimming in her head until just now had evaporated at once.
“That word… so— Together.”
“Because if I’m by your side you can make better decisions, even if I don’t help much,” Kyle said.
She immediately felt that voice flow not into her ears but her heart.
“Together…”
His words were like a spell to stabilize her. Noah managed to nod. Even so, she tried for a long time to express herself, but in the end, it was difficult to clearly convey what she was feeling now. Instead, her body acted on her own. Her fingertips stretched toward him and caressed his face.
She looked up at his purple eyes for a long time, which were not very different from usual. There were many aspects where Noah felt comfort towards Kyle Leonard, but among them, those unshakable eyes accounted for the biggest part. Eyes that could be trusted whenever, trusted in any situation.
Kyle intertwined their hands together and gently bowed down to her. Noah was fully captured by his eyes. His eyes narrowed, as she hadn’t said a single word for a long time.
“What’s wrong? Your face is strange.”
Strange how? A tiny laugh burst from Noah as she didn’t know if that was an insult or him just voicing his concern.
“I look strange? It’s because I feel new.”
“New how?” Kyle asked.
Up until a few months ago, he had held first place on Noah’s list of people whom she had to avoid for her own peace and well-being, but later on, he had become someone who must never disappear from her side.
“Just…”
But somehow she was ashamed to say that, so she just lowered her eyes. At that moment, it was an impulse that moved her, and she realized that there was only one perfect way to express her feelings now.
Noah looked surprised by the purple eyes right in front of her. That was understandable. It was her first time kissing him on her own.
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