If he was usually a playful person, this might look awkward, but he was always a serious and an orderly man. I nodded my head slightly as I met his sharp-forged eyes. Slowly, so he doesn’t misunderstand.
“Anything.”
His eyes deepened for an instant. At the same time, a hesitation seemed to pass. To guess…… I don’t think there’s anything he wanted or he was thinking about it. Perhaps even though he said this, he seemed to be stirring inside.
In the end, I reached out first.
“Did you have anything in mind?”
Pat. When my hand touched him, he flinched. His slightly widened eyes made me burst out laughing.
He was a person with a very scary and serious face as the basics, so even a little surprise would result in him making a completely different expression. I grabbed the tip of his finger. Although he showed a slight embarrassment, he did not avoid it.
“Is what I was thinking right?”
“You’re right.”
He breathed in and answered. I could see his neck moving down in a gulp.
“Then tell me.”
His gaze falls down.
“I think you’ll find it difficult.”
“I don’t think so.”
Having said that, I paused for a moment.…… Hold it.
‘What if we kiss here?’
It may have been a far-fetched imagination, but I suddenly became serious for no reason. To put it simply, it was inevitable. I don’t think there’s a law saying I can’t do it with all the roses in the same sense as Chaser, but…….
‘It feels like kissing Francia on the cheek while I’m doing this, but Lenag…….’
Having been thinking about something absurd, I shook my head lightly. It was just a stupid idea. I didn’t want to think too much about Lenag. I just wanted to avoid getting serious as much as possible, but I didn’t avoid the situation. The words have already been spit out anyway?
“So what is it?”
“That…….”
Lenag, who lowered his head in hesitation, looked at me. The eyes showed determination.
“Then if you don’t find it difficult…….”
***
It was difficult.
‘I said I wouldn’t find it difficult, but…….’
I’m sorry for him, but this is difficult. It’s not just difficult. It was very difficult. I covered my face. I didn’t know what to say about this situation.
“Excuse me, Lenag.”
He looked at me as if he had been preparing for a while. My lips open and close.
Can I say I’m going to back down now? Is he really going to do it?
However, not a single word could come out of my mouth. Even so, what should I do as the person who brought it up in the first place? I just half buried my face in my hands and shook my head.
“…… nothing.”
As I said that, he laid something down in front of me as if everything was ready.
And seeing him put it down made me even more disturbed. Because it was none other than steaming water in a basin or something. It’s a large basin, but at first glance, I was more distured when I looked at the bowl that was covered with gold leaf and looked very expensive.
In the end, I couldn’t stand it and said,
“I’m sorry, Lenag.”
“Yes. Please tell me.”
“Because I’m not the type of person to go back on my words.”
“Yes. Go ahead.”
He lowered his head as if he knew what I was going to say. It was just him and me in the parlor. I think it’s really fortunate that no one else can see this kind of scene.
“Yes, I don’t think this is a good thing, so once again. No. No. I will ask you one last time.”
I pointed down with my finger.
“Are you really okay with this?”
“Yes.”
He laughed a little. Obviously, his hard expression softened as I had allowed him. However,
“You want to wash my feet!”
But the problem is that his wish is absurd.
“Do you have any problems?”
“Don’t you think so? The…… feet. Usually the attendant washes it, and I know how to do it myself.”
“Yes. I am well aware of that.”
No, but why was he making a wish like this? I mean, I was prepared to hear something bigger and grander. I’m fully prepared, too! It was so absurd that I was at a loss for words.
“Why the feet?”
“What?”
“There are the hands, the arms. There’s the body…….”
Then Lenag turned his head and grabbed his cheek lightly. He looked embarrassed and was at a loss of what to do.
“I don’t know if it’s somewhere else, but the body is a little…….”
“No. It’s just a figure of speech.”
Of course, it was not without a guess beforehand.
“Well, Lenag, this is a question that I am cautious about, maybe you have a taste for something like this. A, a desire.”
“What?”
“Maybe towards the foot…….”
“What? …… I don’t know what you’re talking about, but no.”
He flatly denied it. He seemed to be surprised by the word ‘desire’.
“No, it’s nonsense. I was just asking…….”
I know. I don’t think that’s the case, so I went and started asking the wrong questions. Well maybe he has a desire for……. Liking feet in particular. The nonsense is getting haywire here.
I sighed and asked the real question.
“Is this something that I have said carelessly before?”
“…….”
He didn’t answer. The silence meant an affirmation. I smiled bitterly as I buried my face in my hands again. At this point, I was wondering what ‘Iana’ had in her mind. To resolutely follow her tastes one by one.
Lenag grabbed the end of the bowl and released it.
“Sorry. I think I made a very difficult request.”
Lenag, who tapped the rippling water, immediately lifted his head and looked at me.
“Then this never happens…….”
“No. Please.”
It wasn’t that Lenag had strange tastes. I don’t know under what circumstances ‘Iana’ in the past had brought up these words, but he even remembered the passing words. On top of that, I said I would listen. I had no intention of going back.
“Let’s get it done once.”
I lifted my skirt slightly and dipped my toe into the water. Then he smiled in trouble.
“This is embarrassing.”
Rather than embarrassing, I wondered if I had done something like this in my life.
“…… Miss Iana had said something before.”
Lenag, who was facing me, exhaled a little.
“Did you run in slippers?”
Excuse me, with a small greeting, his hand gently grabbed my ankle. His hand was so large that my ankle was caught in one hand.
“This is water mixed with herbs.”
He was also a swordsman, so a long scar was visible on his hand. No. His weapon was a bow, though?
He poured water over the top of my foot and continued his words.
“I was worried that you might get hurt because you ran in a hurry today.”
As he said, there were small scratches on my ankles and the back of my feet. Inside the Domulit mansion, I wore indoor shoes, which were not suitable for running.
However, in order to deceive Chaser’s eyes, I could not change shoes beforehand, and there was no time to do so after taking Chaser down. Was he thinking of something that even I had not thought of? I was a little surprised. Because it was unexpected.
“If you just leave it alone, it will get better soon.”
“That’s right.”
Lenag agreed.
“Of course, wounds are anything over time…… I want your time with pain to be short.”
Looking at his face, I couldn’t bear to say that it didn’t hurt. Eventually I nodded and gave him my foot.
Splash.
For a while, only the sound of water splashing and pouring was filling the parlor. The warm body temperature and the warm water make me feel drowsy. I rubbed my eyes to chase away my sleepiness.
“But I have a question…….”
I still thought this wasn’t the case, but it turns out he seemed softer and more pleasant than usual. So instead of pointing it out, I brought up another story. I intended to drive out the awkwardness through conversation.
“Please say it.”
Come to think of it, I was at a crossroads when I met him at Domulit’s garden today.
“Did the other direction at the crossroads today lead to another gate?”
I asked, just in case. In this slightly awkward situation, I wanted to relax the atmosphere while not having much to say. However, he gave an unexpected response. Lenag looked troubled.
He grabbed my foot and lowered his eyes slightly.
“That’s right.”
I let out a small laugh.
“Lenag, you really can’t lie.”
He rolled his eyes in embarrassment. Like a man who heard words he would never have heard in his life.
“Not necessarily, but……. Maybe in front of Miss Iana.”
I don’t think he’s aware that he was being very honest even with this figure.
“…… Do you not like it?”
“It is better to be honest than to lie.”
As I said that, I lightly rubbed my cheeks that were splashed with water.
“It is difficult and annoying to know whether the other person is lying or not.”
It might be rather lazy to not even make such an effort. Anyway, I felt like that. Saying this, I clenched my chin. Even during a conversation, he looked diligent. He’s a hard worker for just about anything.
As he grabbed my foot, I was able to see Lenag’s face up close, and I saw a small hairline crack in his glasses.
‘Are your glasses cracked?’
It was so subtle that I wouldn’t notice it unless I looked closely. However, I had heard from someone that it was very annoying and bad for eyesight while wearing glasses.
Of course, Lenag wasn’t really bad-eyed, but…… It wouldn’t have had no impact. I tapped Lenag’s shoulder.
“Hey, Lenag. I think there’s a hair crack in your glasses.”
“Oh, did you see it? I don’t have clear glasses.”
“Are there others?”
“There was, but everything was broken.”
He smiled slightly as if nothing was wrong. Glasses are not for battle. And he was a man of position and title that was not far from battle. I pondered for a moment, then removed my hand from my chin.
“Can you excuse me?”
“It’s okay if it’s Miss Iana, but…….”
After hesitating, I cautiously reached out my hand. Slowly, just like when he was holding my foot carefully, I took off Lenag’s glasses.
“Miss Iana?”
“It’s okay.”
I looked into his face and said clearly again. So that he doesn’t miss a word.
“I’m not afraid anymore.”
He looked like he was about to cry.
“So, you don’t have to wear glasses.”
“It’s…… uncomfortable.”
I said one more time.
“It’s not scary.”
He couldn’t stand it and lowered his head. Are you crying?
No, he looks like he will cry. For some reason, it felt certain. But when he looked up, he wasn’t crying.
Instead, in a low voice…….
“I love you.”
He confessed to me.
The moment I saw his face, I knew that he was just not crying yet.
“This feeling I hold even though I know it will be a trouble to you……. What should I do? Yet I hold them.”
Before he could say anything more, I reached out my hand.
Drop.
The glasses fall to the floor.
“No, Lenag.”
I whispered softly, covering his eyes.
“I have something to tell you.”
Maybe I should have talked a little sooner.
I’m sorry for him, but now I know. I realized it late. I am not the one who should see these tears. What this person, who was too pure with such a sharp face, has in his chest, the feeling……. That should not be taken lightly.
I reflected on the time I had wasted carelessly. And, I just found out now. Why did it have to be today? Why did I have a foreboding that today would be the last time I had a quiet conversation with him?
Because I know I can’t go back to our previous relationship if I tell him everything today.
But I had to tell him.
Me.
I am not ‘Iana’.
It was time to say so.
“Don’t do it.”
His words were faster. His hands overlapped mine and then grabbed onto it.
“Lenag? Wait, It’s not that, it’s important.”
I was afraid because it felt like he was rejecting me, so I tried to speak quickly. But he held my hand firmly.
“No. Don’t do it.”
Intercepting my words, he said quickly.
“…… what you want to say I know.”
Lenag’s lips trembled slightly. Like a tree swaying in the wind, so violently. I felt him closing his eyes. I could feel the water on my palm. Then, a voice so weak that it was unbelievable that it was Lenag’s voice came out in difficulty.
“…… I know.”
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