Chapter 68
Translator: Kay
Claudia woke up in a dark space where she couldn’t see anything. Really, she wasn’t even able to see an inch ahead. She couldn’t hear anything, either.
She couldn’t figure out her situation for a while since she was so frightened by the darkness that followed her, no matter where her eyes turned.
She fumbled through the air – there was nothing.
She stepped forward – it didn’t reach anywhere.
She couldn’t even tell if the place where she was standing was the floor or the ceiling.
She panicked for a moment.
“Rin.”
Irene wasn’t here.
“Br-brother.”
Neither was Felix.
As she pathetically called out their names with a quivering voice, she recalled that she had never been separated from any of them before.
No, there were many times when she had gone out alone, but at least in times of crisis, one of them was always by her side.
Those two were her emotional anchors.
Lucas, Benjamin, Constantine.
Claudia could pretend to be strong and bold in front of the three because Irene was watching over her.
If she happened to bump into someone like the Crown Prince while Irene was not around, her momentum would relatively weaken, and she would be intimidated.
It was not easy to deliberately do something she wasn’t able to do.
If she brazenly pretended to be tough and unaffected, they would effortlessly and sarcastically quip that they knew about everything.
They knew that no matter how prickly the spikes of a hedgehog, the delicate skin underneath could not be hardened.
“Claudia, you’ve relied on someone all your life. Even now, you may be standing alone, but you’re still relying on Lady Amber.”
Some time ago, Benjamin spoke to her as if he knew everything.
And Claudia scowled and shot back, “That’s not a bad thing. If there’s a person who protects, then there’s someone who relies on that person.”
“It’s like a symbiotic relationship,” She added.
“But Claudia, you’re building a hell of your own. I don’t even have to use my hands. It wouldn’t be my job to get rid of Lady Amber, but if she dies and you’re all left alone, I can just come to pick you up.”
It could only be done to someone who depended on others.
Benjamin told her not to waste her energy. Instead, he told her to rely on him and to entrust him with her body and mind. Benjamin told her to do nothing, not to worry, and just to be comfortable. He said she didn’t have to suffer.
“If you continue to be stubborn, I will remove each and every one of your precious people until you break.”
He was talking softly, but in the end, it was a threat to come to him with her own feet before Irene was killed.
She told him not to say bullsh*t.
Then Felix died.
Of course, he didn’t actually die, but he was ultimately considered dead in society.
In the end, they intended to make Felix a sacrifice and to kill all the Chamberlain family members and Irene at the same time.
Her stomach turned upside down. Just imagining the situation broke her heart. It was the first time she had harbored such a murderous intent towards someone. But she couldn’t do anything right now, so she was going crazy.
Why……. she just wanted to kill them all.
This was exactly what Lucas said at the funeral:
“No matter how much you change, my Claudia will always be sweet.”
‘Don’t say that I’m still the same.’
She hated that terrible remark.
It was what the three men believed.
“No matter how hard you try, the situation will never change.”
But the situation must change.
Irene praised Claudia for growing braver and tougher. Irene said that was her true self.
‘But Rin, I still don’t know.’
‘Am I a strong person? Can I become strong?’
People didn’t change that easily. She continuously brainwashed herself and pretended to be strong, but she was still helplessly standing in this position.
She had never thought about a situation without Irene or Felix. It was only after Felix’s funeral that she realized it more deeply.
She couldn’t live without them.
It couldn’t go on like this.
She had to become stronger.
And to become a dependable person.
However, even if she had the resolve, it was still the same.
She spoke so smugly, and yet, she couldn’t do anything by herself. She was the one who put everyone in danger despite being confident in obtaining the spirit. They weren’t wrong when they said she was weak. What the hell was she doing here?
Only then did Claudia recall everything that had happened.
‘I was on my way to find an independent spirit. I thought this would only cause a lot of trouble. So I forced myself to think it was the final challenge, and then I heard something strange on the ship…….’
After that, there was no memory, and it skipped to now.
Claudia took a deep breath in.
“Hoo……”
And then she breathed out.
As her chest swelled and sank, her head became dizzy for a moment, and the fear subsided a little.
–No, certainly not. What’s the difference if you take action?
She slowly rose from her seat and fumbled through the air again. This time she walked a little more unhesitatingly. Her hands and feet trembled, but it was inevitable. She had to walk. If she couldn’t even accomplish this, then she wouldn’t be able to protect anyone.
–You won’t be able to protect anyone. You’re just a doll with a pretty face! No one wants you to step up on your own. You’re wasting your breath.
Since childhood, whenever Claudia was depressed and anxious, she often suffered from auditory hallucinations like this.
–Don’t you hate it? Ah, you hate your life. Everyone is doomed to die because of you, so it would be better if you died without trying to act in vain.
Irene said these hallucinations were related to why Claudia couldn’t sign a contract with any spirits. Claudia didn’t understand what Irene was saying. But she knew that it would all be over the moment she was swayed by those words.
She clenched her teeth and kept moving forward, trying not to be aware of the ruthless voice.
–Why don’t you die? Why?
Because, if she did, Irene would be sad.
Since even her sense of sight was consumed by darkness, she couldn’t tell how much she had walked.
But it wasn’t long before she touched a wall. Well, it felt more like bricks.
“Huh?”
After fumbling around the wall for a while, she found a loose brick. Claudia carefully grasped it and pulled it out.
At the same time, light poured in through a gap the size of her palm.
Ugh. Claudia grimaced at the unexpected light.
After her vision adjusted to a certain extent, she caught sight of a beautiful and picturesque garden that was wonderful even in her eyes.
The chirping birds and the sound of flowing water caressed her ears, and roses filled with sunlight and hydrangeas filled with the sea were in full bloom. There was also a swing on a tree that swayed as if someone had just sat down on it.
Claudia gazed at it as if bewitched and then turned her back.
The path she traveled through while trembling with all kinds of fear was nothing more than a simple passage. She couldn’t even see an inch ahead, so she was overwhelmed by it. But, it was just a path filled with complicated twists and turns like a maze.
The end of the maze would probably lead to that remarkable flower garden.
Claudia blinked blankly. She then fumbled around the wall again for the proper exit and stepped forward.
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Nihilis. The spirit of hopelessness.
The exact time he appeared in the original was when the heroine and the minor character, Cedric, were caught after trying to escape from the male protagonists.
Claudia, who was completely imprisoned in the imperial palace, became pessimistic about life and attempted suicide.
Life was more painful than death, so she tried to jump to her demise, but her suicide failed. Nihilis appeared when her whole body was shattered and immersed in pain worse than death.
And after coercing Claudia, who was suffering from endless pain, to say, “Save me, it hurts. I don’t want to die,” she was then forced to sign a contract.
Not to mention how far her life plummeted into the abyss after that……. All I could say was that it was truly miserable.
So I hoped that she could sign a contract with another spirit as soon as possible.
Thus I jumped into this risky gamble that might cost our lives. But that outcome would still be a little better than signing a contract with Nihilis.
‘Chloe, I hope you’re currently all right…….’
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T/N: >_< Oh my, we get to learn a bit more about Claudia’s hardship and that despicable Nihilis spirit!
Once again, thanks again for your patience, everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and the next one~ (I know I said Monday but I had a sudden migraine yesterday, so I ended up posting it today…!) Have a wonderful week, everyone~❤️
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