Chapter 56
Translator: Kay
What affair was he talking about? There was more than one thing wrong with his statement. Most of all, I felt dirty after hearing something that was like dog poop.
‘It looks like I’m currently involved in a very unpleasant misunderstanding…….’
“I offer my deepest condolences.”
He spoke with formal politeness while I was speechless and stifled by the sudden nonsense.
When he expressed his condolences with those lifeless eyes that had no will to live, it only made me feel stranger.
“The esteemed son and I had no special relationship, but when I heard about his story, I felt like I had read a biography of a great man. I’m sorry to hear that he’s gone.”
Cedric looked away for a moment and uttered his own words of consolation.
He sounded like he had left his soul somewhere, but he seemed to be speaking with all his heart.
Well, to start with, he wasn’t a bad person by nature.
“He shouldn’t have had to die. There were tens of thousands of people who sincerely mourned his death.”
Cedric spoke with regret.
“If such a person had lived longer, the world would be a better place. But most of the people who survive are bugs that waste oxygen just by breathing.”
That was a very accurate way to criticize the three brothers.
“Perhaps this place is actually hell since a valuable life can pass away so easily, letting only the bugs remain.”
Based on the atmosphere, it seemed like his speech about depreciation included himself.
I felt like I had seen the bottom of his self-esteem.
‘Self-reproach.’
An unexpected mood bug…….
With a tone as light as a feather, he threw around heavy words about humans being bugs and being useless. I didn’t know how I should respond.
‘Did you get bitten by an insect in the funeral hall?’
I heard that depression was also contagious1. Listening to Cedric say those words made me feel like I was going to suffocate from the gloom. The air around me suddenly felt like it was crushing me like a rock.
I decided to brush it aside and brought up my business.
“Felix said that even a small bug has a reason to live. One day I tried to kill a bug, but he caught it and released it outside…….”
Now, listen to the words of our angel Felix, who purifies the polluted heart by just his sole existence.
“We don’t know about the life of bugs.”
I also knew nothing about Cedric’s life. He was a son born from the emperor and his mistress, and he constantly lived fearing death since childhood.
I’d never experienced it, so I probably wouldn’t understand it. But Cedric, himself, knew it well.
“Even if thousands and thousands of people become faced with death, if they lived a life of integrity, that would be enough.”
Of course, we should always act in the scope of not harming others, but the three useless brothers, who had already crossed that line a long time ago, were obviously exceptions.
“No human being is perfect. Felix, too, had lived according to his beliefs, and this was the result.”
Cedric, who lacked self-pride and confidence, kept his eyes on me.
Now that I thought about it, I was currently boosting the prince’s self-esteem at my friend’s funeral.
‘This isn’t why I asked you to meet me.’
It was only for an instant, but there was a glimpse of curiosity in Cedric’s gray eyes before it vanished.
It was a sign of interest, but as always, he didn’t want to be too deeply involved.
He gently curved the corners of his mouth. It was a confident smile of a handsome man who knew well enough that he was attractive.
“I’ve heard that you’re very good at dealing with people. You know how to say pretty things.”
His soulless words continued. It was as if he was talking to the air.
Since his face was naturally handsome and his voice was quite alluring, it was likely that if an innocent young lady who had no experience with men heard it, their heart would have been racing.
I didn’t have any experience with men, but I certainly wasn’t naive.
“That’s a lengthy story. But even if you don’t say such sweet words, I can fulfill your wishes. Isn’t that what you want?”
“I don’t know how you know what I want and how you will respond to it.”
“It’s obvious. You want to be loved by me. Don’t feign innocence.”
“……”
“I cannot love you, but I can make you feel that way.”
This fellow later risked his life to escape with Claudia but ends up with his heart pulled out by Lucas. It was impossible to imagine him doing that with his current attitude.
It didn’t actually take long for Cedric to fall into an extreme fever of love. If I recall correctly, he didn’t show much emotion to Claudia until he met her while she got imprisoned and withered away day by day.
‘I wonder if it was actually love.’
I once heard that a man and woman who fell in love in an extreme situation would fall out once peace and stability returned.
Like Romeo and Juliet, their love was more affectionate because it was an unattainable love.
Moreover, before Romeo loved Juliet, he loved a woman named Rosaline2. But he didn’t pursue the love since she had sworn to chastity.
From my point of view, Romeo must have been a lover of unrequited love.
In the first place, Juliet was probably only fourteen years old. The two people fell in love, ran away, and died in just five days.
If the Montague and Capulet families had left them alone, their love would have naturally cooled down.
In fact, in my opinion, Cedric and Claudia didn’t seem that much different from their situation.
Even if it wasn’t love, Cedric needed the motive to stimulate his energy to live. He wasn’t aware of it, but like how he gave up his life to flee with Claudia, he required a purpose and reason to fuel him on.
“Your face is quite cute.”
Although, the current situation was quite messed up.
Cedric smiled as he looked me up and down.
“I like your little lips. I think it’ll be nice to devour.”
Argh, what a crazy man!!
I frantically stretched out my hands to cover his mouth that was approaching without hesitation.
The breath on the palm of my hands was unpleasant, and the mushy touch was unspeakably awful.
I kept my distance from him as much as I could and wiped my palms on my clothes.
“It’s dirty. Stay away.”
“……..”
“Don’t come any closer without permission. And don’t ever make fun of my lips.”
‘Please, just think about that in your mind.’
Cedric looked shocked by my words. It was similar to the reaction I received when I told Benjamin, who was lighting his cigarette, that his breath smelled.
I’d never let this bastard be Claudia’s partner. In the first place, I didn’t even intend for them to meet, and I didn’t like him either!
They were only allowed to be colleagues.
It didn’t matter even if Cedric’s attitude changed like in the original story later down the track. He was unsatisfactory.
I looked at him very carefully and soon shook my head since I didn’t like what I saw.
“I didn’t call you for that.”
“……then?” He blinked and asked curiously.
His expression seemed to say that there was no reason to approach him unless it was for that purpose.
Oh, he was running out of his already low self-esteem.
I felt like I could understand why the original Cedric was helplessly drawn to Claudia.
The wishy-washy atmosphere that seemed to melt quietly and drift away alone was thoroughly the same as the original heroine.
Of course, the heroine wasn’t as hesitant and bitterly twisted.
He probably projected himself onto Claudia.
Perhaps he wanted to save himself while claiming to be her savior.
I heard that when you liked someone who was deeply connected to your inner self and stimulated you, it would emerge as an emotion.
There was a saying that you could only love others once you have learned to love yourself properly.
“I just need you. There’s nothing else to it.”
“Why me?”
Hmm, I wasn’t sure how to respond.
I rolled my eyes around before I came up with an answer.
“Because I saw the possibility?”
“Possibility?”
“That you’d like it. Since you’re like a moth to a flame.”
You wandered endlessly in search of a reason to live while hoping that one day you’d burn and die. In the original story, the opportunity just happened to be Claudia.
“Despite the lifeless look in your eyes, is the reason why you can’t die due to your fear of your death meaning nothing?”
“…….I don’t want to talk about it.”
He spoke weakly and wrinkled his brows. He seemed rather angry, but he wasn’t even intimidating.
I wanted to speak as gently as possible, but I almost lost the purity of my lips because of you.
You’re lucky I didn’t make you into the second Arasa Moore, you bastard.
“I can offer you a life where you can be proud of yourself and where even thousands and thousands of people will bless your death. I really need you.”
Cedric wiped the languid smile off his face and raised his eyebrows without saying a word.
He looked as if he was silently asking, ‘Are you trying to use me?’
“If you’re going to throw away your life, give it to me. I’ll make it very useful.”
“Who will even comply with what you’re saying?”
“Once you comply with it, you can never back out of it, and you can die. It’s that kind of stimulus.”
As I said so, I placed a finely folded piece of paper on Cedric’s hand.
He looked down at me with a bewildered look, clutching at the white note as if it was an illusion.
“If you’re interested, come to this place.”
I wondered if he thought that there was no such craziness like this. He seemed to be holding back his laughter as if my words were absurd.
At that moment, I wasn’t able to discern whether or not he was interested.
1. Ok, so I had to do a fact check, and there are several medical studies about whether depression is contagious (articles from 1994-2020), and the answer is yes and no. Depression is not contagious like bacterial or viral infections, but studies did show that moods and emotions can spread. So rather than the depression itself being contagious, it’s the moods and emotions (the symptoms) that are contagious. And since we’re talking about moods and emotions being contagious, it’s true for not only negative emotions but positive ones too. Hence happiness is known to be contagious too! I found this site super informative if anyone else wants further reading: https://www.healthline.com/health/is-depression-contagious↩
2. Rosaline is a member of the Capulet family (Capulet’s niece) from Shakespeare’s play, “Romeo and Juliet”. Romeo’s crush ended when he met Juliet. However, before that, he got rejected by Rosaline since she didn’t like him back (and because she told him sworn to chastity).↩
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