Why him? Why did it have to be him? Kyle wanted to argue but gave up before even trying. Riddel was an unusual woman who rarely made sense. It would surely be a hassle to argue with her drunken version.
Kyle sat next to Riddel without answering back. His expression, full of arrogance.
“It seems as if you’ve really lost it.”
“What do you mean, it’s gone? Wait, I didn’t lose anything. I’m fine.”
Kyle clearly knew she was not in full capacity of her actions. It was easy to see in the way she tried to stand straight while sitting on the bed, her head was clearly spinning.
‘Why did she get drunk alone on the terrace?’
Kyle was annoyed by himself. His normal-self wouldn’t have tried to understand her actions, her thoughts, especially being the stubborn woman she was.
Kyle, who couldn’t keep his face from making such a displeased expression at the moment, raised and stretched all of his fingers. Then asked with a serious tone.
“Riddel, how many fingers am I holding up?”
“That’s one.”
“… Do you see this as one? Five, it’s five.”
“What do you mean, Kyle? How can it be five? It’s just one.”
“Why are you saying this is one? Anyone who would look at it would say it’s five…” Without any time to stop her, Riddel bit Kyle’s finger. “Hey!”
‘Oh, it’s cold.’
He was surprised by the coldness of her teeth, immediately withdrawing his hand from her mouth. Although Kyle’s expression felt as cold as her teeth, Riddel smiled without a trace of worry in sight.
“I bit one and it’s gone now, so if I bit three more, it’s one, right?”
‘…Crazy, she’s a mad woman. This whole situation is ridiculous. I can’t believe a crazy woman like her can’t even handle a couple of drinks.’
Kyle was so amazed by the situation. “Riddel Spencer, should I assume you’re really not afraid of anything, are you?”
“No, that’s not true. Everyone is afraid of something, even me.”
“What would that be?” Kyle unconsciously asked her when he saw darkness lurched in the complexion of Riddel’s expression. Her eyes were windows to all of her scary thoughts. Something must really scare her.
“Well, first of all, I’m scared of reptiles… and I don’t really like insects… and among them, cockroaches are just horrible. Just seeing them crawling around gives me goosebumps.”
“…”
“I’m also scared of surprises, scared of someone shouting all of a sudden, it’s scarier than you think.”
The world was indeed scary, but to Riddel, the scariest thing was not something that the actual Riddel was scared of, it was the Korean girl inside, Han Suyeon…
Riddel lowered her gaze to the ground. “Just like this… Forever, not being able to see my mother and father.” Her tone was a sad remark, but was holding mystery to it.
Tonight, the Viscount and Viscountess took part in the imperial banquet. She surely must have seen her father and stepmother while I was talking to the emperor. Why was she saying this?
‘…Did she mention being an illegitimate child?’
According to Elvin’s report, Riddel’s mother was a common woman who spent the night at their village with money from her own master. She met her demise 5 years later; crushed to death by a running carriage.
When he received news of the event, it became clear that he could not abandoned Riddel, who share his own blood, to the orphanage. Perhaps he presumed one day he could use her for his own benefits. Since then, she has been treated as a revolting blunder by her own father. She probably wanted to stay with her mother, but her death made the matter impossible.
Kyle was wondering what he should do at the moment. Foreseeably, time erased his memories and feelings. He may have been good to other human beings before but the dragon didn’t know how to comfort people.
Naturally, he would not have cared about other people’s feelings, but this time it was different. He felt nervous as if his blood was circulating backwards.
“Rid…”
“Well, that’s never going to happen if I don’t cheer up.”
At the same time Kyle was wondering how to comfort her, the air around Riddel unexpectedly changed. She was smiling at him, blinding him, so much so that he forgot his ever-approaching hand. Kyle’s hand stopped mid-air.
‘I was just about to do something. What was I about to do?’
He was confused with himself. Riddel, who was unaware of the situation, smiled lightly like everything was good, giggling to herself. It was clear that the alcohol affected her more than Kyle previously thought as if the last drink finally kicked in.
“In all matters, it truly is a relief. Kyle’s a good guy. Wait no, is he a bad guy?”
“I don’t care, just choose one.”
“Okay, then, Kyle is a bad guy. A sensitive, impatient dragon bossy pants with a dirty personality.”
“…”
“But I’m not scared. He might be cold to the touch, but it’s fine, and…”
It was a cheeky remark, but Kyle didn’t do anything. There was no way out of it. It was because of Riddel’s tone, seemingly ambiguous, not talking to him or anyone else for that matter.
Riddel took a small breath waiting for her to continue. “Kyle, you’re not a monster.”
“…”
“…Really, really, really. You’re not a monster.”
Kyle couldn’t keep up with her. First, he was a good guy, then she changed her mind, what is all this supposed to mean? Anyone with a normal mindset wouldn’t say ‘good’ to a blue dragon.
“You’re… a really bad-tempered woman.”
“I don’t want to hear that from Kyle, who has a dirty personality.”
“…”
“…”
Silence came upon them. While Kyle sat one the bed surrounded by a red soft light, creating a glowing ambiance, his lips was the first thing Riddel noticed. Kyle narrowed his eyes at Riddel, his fingers stretched out, taking the same position as the last time he touched her. Perhaps it was unconscious.
Riddel blinked from the surprise of Kyle’s touch.
“It’s cold… It feels good.”
Kyle could hear Riddel’s awareness and appreciation in those simple words.
It has always been like that.
Everyone was afraid to touch him, but Riddel always met him head on. Never afraid of him or the dragon’s curse. Taking her words as permission, Kyle touched Riddel’s lips delicately. He knew the more he touched her, the colder her body would get, the colder she would get, the more fragile she would become.
Unlike her constant chatter, this thin, vulnerable woman…
‘A little bit of force would break her.’
Realizing that he shouldn’t stay in one place for too long, Kyle moved his finger. His finger slowly traced a path from under her lips, sweeping to her chin and up around her cheeks, eyes, and forehead, and then stopping back to where he started.
“We should stop. This is crazy.”
“Oh… go crazy!”
“…You’re the crazy one.”
“Is that so?”
“I get so mad when I look at you.”
So he kept looking at her; Riddel Spencer.
“Can you put it in another way?” Kyle kept hearing nonsense coming from her. “Why are you asking every day the same thing? You’re a good dragon. I’m fine. You can touch me.”
Kyle came closer to Riddel as if the words were driving him. It was yet another strange feeling, feeling the memories. It was something he had done not too long ago.
“… Riddel.”
Kyle called her name from a safe distance, giving her enough time to change her mind, to realize she could still escape him. He wondered if this was the end, but as soon as his lips touched Riddel’s, everything fell away.
“You’re the one who allowed it. Don’t complain to me.”
His voice filled with fever reached her lips again with a sigh. Riddel could not think clearly anymore. His hot breath was mingling with hers, but leaving her lips an inexplicable feeling. Kyle knew that if he touched her longer it would be the same as before. Her flesh would rot, turning black as dirt. It’s not, not just that…
‘I don’t want to want more.’
What a crazy idea. He briskly stood up. Trying to shake his body off, from the feeling of wanting more. He must have looked quite surprised, considering that he was always expressionless.
Riddel raised her head slightly and asked with wide open eyes. “Kyle, what’s wrong?”
“No, nothing… nothing.”
There was an uncomfortable look on Kyle’s face. The expression of confusion. The confusion from himself who didn’t think like a dragon. The feeling of being trapped in a dream.
***
Going back to the castle after the banquet, I should have not taken the same carriage as Kyle. Sitting beside him, my nerves were acting up all on their own.
Kyle leaned against the carriage and closed his eyes looking like the perfect ceramic doll. I could not even tell if he was still breathing. I don’t think I ever saw him fall asleep in front of me. That’s interesting. His eyelashes are so long.
But really, is he even breathing?
I reached out my hand gently and slowly hovered near the base of Kyle’s nose. The soft breath felt pleasant against my fingers.
‘… I think something happened last night.’
I remember being reunited with Kyle in a state of increasing excitement while heavily drinking on the terrace.
‘This is only a dream, right?’
I bit the inside of my cheeks into innocent oppression as I wished I could have a blanket and forever hide under. I tried to ignore those thoughts coming to my mind. It was not clear, except…
Except when our lips touched.
Why did he have to be so handsome…? I glanced at Kyle. Looking at him with any disturbances, his hair looked so soft. I don’t think he was taking care of himself so again why was he so handsome? I felt like I was being fooled. As I tried to reach for Kyle’s hair, I became stiff as soon as I realized what I was doing.
‘Oh, well, what is this bad hand doing without thinking? You can’t just do whatever you want. Listen to your master.’
“Hmm.”
I coughed and quietly put my hands in their original position. Fortunately, Kyle didn’t budge. On the other hand, I was the one fully awake, heading back to the castle with my heart pounding and awkwardness oppressing it.
***
“…What did you just say?” A cold voice sharp as a well-devoted blade grated on the silence.
Elvin, Kyle’s aide, carried out various tasks on behalf of Kyle who was an unsociable misanthropic person even before his curse. The intensity of the matter was so high that in addition to the basic tasks, some of his aides attended crucial meetings instead of Kyle.
No matter how competent an aide was, it was a dirty job.
Elvin specialized in investigating. It was in his nature to distinguish rumors from authenticity. Meaning; there was no mistake in the ‘rumors’ he relayed to Kyle in his last investigation. However, he had some thoughts that his report was clearly a mistake.
‘I’ve never felt this way before.’
Kyle’s rising anger was not a mistake, according to the report.
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