Chapter 71: My Name is Yu Xiaoxiao
In her past life, everyone called her Drillmaster Yu, but people in this world didn’t seem used to the title. Yu Xiaoxiao decided to err on the side of caution and asked Gu Xinglang with the two little buns in her hands, “Little Gu, what should they call me?”
Before Gu Xinglang could reply, Gu Jin laughed and said, “Little Gu?”
Gu Xun was a smart child and quickly caught on. He asked Yu Xiaoxiao, “Then should we call you Little Yu?”
Ah geez. Yu Xiaoxiao shivered. That kind of nickname didn’t fit her at all.
Gu Xinglang shook his head at Gu Xin. “You cannot be rude to Her Royal Highness.”
“What ‘Her Royal Highness,’ ah,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. “It sounds so bad.”
“Why does it sound bad?” Gu Jin asked.
Yu Xiaoxiao turned serious. “Because there’s four words.1 Saying my name is equal to calling two people at once, so bothersome. That’s right, little tubby, do you know how to count?”
Gu Jin immediately began to count for Yu Xiaoxiao, going one, two, three, four, five very seriously.
Gu Xun added, “I can count too.”
Yu Xiaoxiao replied, “Oh, then you can count for me too.”
Sensing that they were getting off track, Gu Xinglang quickly spokt up. “Princess, how about putting them down first.” Holding two children like how one would hold chickens didn’t tire his little wife, but it was a sight to injure the eyes.
Yu Xiaoxiao placed the two meatbuns on the ground. She was still unused to children because they felt too delicate and tender. Their bones were weak too, so she worried that she’d break them if she used too much strength.
“Your Royal Highness,” Gu Jin called out while hugging Yu Xiaoxiao’s leg.
Yu Xiaoxiao looked at Gu Xinglang and asked again, “What should they call me? Besides ‘Your Royal Highness.’”
“Third Aunt,” Gu Xinglang replied.
Yu Xiaoxiao pursed her lips. From a big sis directly to an auntie. That’s too much of a timeskip.
Gu Xun ran to Gu Xinglang’s side, carefully avoiding his injured legs to snuggle up to his side. “Third Uncle, then what do you call Third Aunt?”
“Princess,” Gu Xinglang replied.
“Can we stop bringing up ‘princess?’” Yu Xiaoxiao asked. She had endured it for days, but everyone seemed determined to remind her that she had a fatuous, self-indulgent dad. I don’t wanna be a princess, ahhh!!!!!!!2
Gu Xinglang gave a start. “Then princess, what do you want me to call you?”
“Drillmaster,” Yu Xiaoxiao said. Since Gu Xinglang was from the military, this was a very appropriate name.
Gu Xinglang and the two meatbuns both blinked before he asked, “What kind of master is a drillmaster?”
Yu Xiaoxiao grew alarmed. “Are there no drillmasters in this world? Not even in the military?”
Gu Xinglang shook his head. “We have masters called chief military instructors in the army.”
A chief instructor? Yu Xiaoxiao shook her head. Forget it, I’m not interested in teaching people to raise their IQs.
Gu Xinglang suddenly asked in a small voice, “Then shall I call you Linglong?”
Ah geez, that name. Yu Xiaoxiao’s stomach hurt at the sound of it. Why should I keep such a literary name? “Just call me Xiaoxiao,” Yu Xiaoxiao decided. “I have another name called Yu Xiaoxiao.”
“Xiao, Xiaoxiao?” Gu Xinglang stammered.
“Mhm. I don’t tell this name to just anyone,” Yu Xiaoxiao replied.
In Third Master Gu’s ears, this meant that it had to be a nickname that Xianzong and the empress had given Her Royal Highness. For a girl, only her parents, blood relatives, and people like husbands were allowed to know her nickname. Gu Xinglang’s handsome face suddenly flushed red. He was very happy, but he didn’t know how to express it.
“Xiaoxiao,” Gu Jin called out with a laugh.
“Jin’er,” Gu Xinglang quickly lectured him, “You have to use Third Aunt. You can’t show disrespect to your elders.”
Gu Jin’s head drooped as he ‘oh’d’ in reply.
By now, Wang momo had arrived in the courtyard with Xiao Zhuang and Xiao Wei in tow. When she paid respects to Gu Xinglang, her face was so gloomy that it gave him a fright. “Momo, what’s wrong?”
Wang momo only said irritably, “Nothing much. This servant greets Royal Son-in-Law.”
Yu Xiaoxiao said, “Momo, are you mad because we didn’t bring you out to eat?”
Wang momo didn’t want to speak to these two at all. One of them upset her, while the other–as Wang momo glanced at Yu Xiaoxiao, hurt filled her heart–Her Royal Highness only knows eating and more eating. Can’t she worry about proper business once in a while?!
Gu Xinglang examined Wang momo’s complexion and said, “Momo, His Seventh Highness is out of danger now.”
His Seventh Highness is safe, but not my princess. Wang momo glared at Xiao Zhuang and Xiao Wei before she said, “Why aren’t you helping the Royal Son-in-Law back to his rooms yet? No sense of insight! Why does the princess keep you two around?”
Xiao Zhuang ran forward and pushed Gu Xinglang back to his rooms. Yu Xiaoxiao settled to walk by Wang momo’s side. “Momo, I’ll take you out to eat street food tonight.”
“Princess,” Wang momo called out softly.
“Here,” Yu Xiaoxiao replied.
Wang momo said, “This servant doesn’t want to talk right now.”
Yu Xiaoxiao obediently shut up. Wang momo’s middle-aged but still single. I bet she hit menopause early.
Back in his room, Gu Xinglang left Xiao Wei back to speak. The guard didn’t hide a thing, but repeated Old Madam and Lady Xu’s words before adding, “Royal Son-in-Law, why doesn’t Old Madam like the princess?”
Gu Xinglang was left embarrassed. His heart flustered, he asked instead, “What do you think?”
“……” said Xiao Wei. It was already enough that he’d turned from a royal shadow guard to some pageboy equivalent, but was he supposed to take care of the Royal Son-in-Law’s woman issues too? Had any shadow guard in the world ever done so much?
Seeing that Xiao Wei wouldn’t answer, Gu Xinglang only managed awkwardly, “You should withdraw, I understand the situation now.”
Xiao Wei paused before deciding to sell out Wang momo for the princess’s sake. He told Gu Xinglang, “Momo thinks it’s because Old Madam liked that Qingyu.”
Gu Xinglang had to suppress a mouthful of blood from rising up. Why is it Qinguy again?!
After leaving that barb, Xiao Wei saw that Gu Xinglang’s expression had turned ghastly. He quickly paid his respects and fled.
Meanwhile, Yu Xiaoxiao was kneeling in a darkroom. Before her laid a mixture of plant juice and rice water, a culture solution she had prepared for her fresh growth of penicillin. Her mind was awhirl in thoughts as she stared at a pitcher. First she wondered if she should find a psychologist to examine Wang momo and her menopause problems. Then she wondered why Wen Fenglin had been forced by the cruel female emperor to be her Emperor Consort despite being rather strong himself. There had to be a plot afoot, but she couldn’t solve such a profound puzzle.
Outside the darkroom, Wang momo sat on a railing while thinking of her own thoughts. If relations between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law soured, it would be her family’s princess getting the short end of the stick in the end. How was she supposed to fix that? Suppose the princess and Royal Son-in-Law went off to live in a separate estate instead? But if they moved out so soon after marriage, that would hurt the princess’s reputation. Wang momo clutched her head. What a fretful problem!
Eldest Young Master Gu was still sitting in his grandfather’s study. While talking with the man, he had the distinct impression that he’d forgotten something, but couldn’t remember what.
Her Royal Highness in Chinese is four words: 公主殿下, or gongzhu dianxia.
I did not exaggerate, the author really did put seven exclamation points here.
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