Chapter 30 Paradise Strange (2)
Hua Feng smiled and said: “Of course not, we do not actually lie in the direct jurisdiction of the empire. Even the Royal Family cannot command us to do anything normally, and we usually only take action if our Empire is on the verge of destruction. As a Heavenly Jewel Master, you should know that Jewel Masters take a lot of money to sustain. As such, we need our own income, and this comes from these missions. To be more accurate, we are an assassin organisation, and we are known in the world as ‘Paradise Strange’.
Of course, besides the few of us, no one else in the world knows that the Heavenly Bow Unit from Heavenly Bow Empire is actually Paradise Strange. In the entire Boundless Mainland’s assassination world, our Paradise Strange is ranked the 7th of all the assassin organisations. Being set up for over a hundred years, the completion rate of our missions is about 79% and those organisations which rank above us are all at least ten times our numbers.
“Paradise Strange?” Zhou Weiqing’s mouth twitched, as he thought to himself: Damn, that sure is an innovative name!
Hua Feng smiled faintly as he said: “The Strange launches the dark destructive arrows, sending you to Paradise.[1. This seems to be their slogan. I know, another poetic line that sounds weird in English... I tried T.T]. From now on, you are also members of Paradise Strange, however, these 2 years will be your training period, and as such, you will not be given a cut from the missions. When your power reaches an acceptable standard and everyone agrees, we will start giving out a cut to you as well.”
Mu En looked at Zhou Weiqing and gave a humph before saying: “Little Brat, do not think to judge us assassins by the normal Jewel Master standards. If we were to fight normally, without our bows, face to face, any normal 5-Jeweled Heavenly Jewel Master would be able to destroy our entire Heavenly Bow Unit. However, do you know over this past 100 odd years, what our battle accomplishments have been? I’ll only mention the higher level ones. The strongest person we have assassinated was a 9-Jeweled Heavenly Jewel Master; just him alone would normally be strong enough to equal hundreds of 9-Jeweled ordinary Jewel Masters! Furthermore, over the years, we have racked up a death tally of 11 9-Jeweled Heavenly Zong Jewel Masters, 43 8-Jeweled Jewel Masters, 114 7-Jeweled Jewel Masters.”
Shangguan Bing’er said: “Seniors, we will definitely work hard and train with all our might, please do give us your guidance.”
Han Mo stood up and said to Hua Feng: “Boss, if there is nothing else, I’ll head back now.”
Hua Feng nodded and said: “Bing’er, come with me, I’ll arrange a place for you to stay, and also test your current strength.”
“Yes, teacher.” Shangguan Bing’er stood up. Just as she was about to leave, Zhou Weiqing quickly grabbed her hand, moving closer to her ear and whispering softly: “Bing’er, don’t get taken advantage off by that old handsome dude!” Towards Hua Feng, with such good looks and graceful air, he felt a sense of danger in his heart.
Shangguan Bing’er flushed deeply, gave him a pinch, before leaving with Hua Feng.
Zhou Weiqing could clearly see that when Hua Feng left, his mouth had twitched upwards in an amused smile, and couldn’t help but feel a little perturbed. Could it be... despite whispering so softly, he heard my words?
As soon as Shangguan Bing’er and Hua Feng exited, Mu En, Luo Ke Di and Gao Shen, who were seated on the opposite side of Zhou Weiqing, all burst out laughing. Luo Ke Di was the most exaggerated, laughing till tears streamed down his cheeks, even banging his fist on the table, while Mu En had almost slid off his chair while laughing. Zhou Weiqing asked puzzledly: “Why are all of you laughing, what’s so funny?”
Gao Shen said while laughing heartily: “Little Wei, did you feel that your whispering was very soft, and that only Bing’er could hear it?”
“What? Did… did you all hear what I said?” Zhou Weiqing asked in surprise.
Luo Ke Di gave him a big thumbs up and said: “Little Wei, let me tell you, if anyone else had said what you said to Boss Hua Feng, even if they didn’t die, they would be severely injured at least. Your voice… soft? Have you forgotten what we do for a living? We’re all archers, and assassins! For an archer, being able to judge distance and speeds from hearing is our bread and butter, even an ordinary Zong Stage Heavenly Jewel Master may not be able to do as well as us! Your whisper was no different from speaking beside our ears. Hahahahaha! And you actually was afraid that Boss would try to steal your girl… hahaha, ahhh I almost laughed to death.”
“What so funny!? As a man, what’s wrong with being concerned about my wife.” Zhou Weiqing cried out, his embarrassment also turning into anger.
“Damn, little brat, stop throwing my face as well.” Mu En said to him. “Little brat, in terms of generation, do you know what Boss Hua Feng hopes that you will call him most?”
Zhou Weiqing asked suspiciously: “What?”
Mu En paused and said: “Little Mother. [2. What he’d call his father’s second wife.]”
“What?!” Zhou Weiqing’s eyes almost popped out of his sockets. “Do you mean that Leader is a lady?”
“No, no… of course our Boss Hua Feng is a man, however, he likes other men as well. Furthermore, the person he is in love with is your father! Hahahahahaha, little brat, you actually worried that someone who wants to be your little mother would steal your wife. Hahaha, I can’t stop laughing.”
Zhou Weiqing could only stare dumbfoundedly at the trio, his jaw agape as he remained speechless. All of a sudden, without warning, Mu En and the rest of them stopped laughing, their expressions changing, and almost instantly dropped to the ground. RIght behind them in the wooden wall of the house, 3 small holes appeared where they had been a split second ago.
Hua Feng’s voice traveled from the distance: “If the three of you want to die, I don’t mind helping you fulfill your wish.”
Luo Ke Di’s face turned pale, while Gao Shen immediately put on a straight, solemn face, saying: “Rogue, how can you gossip about Boss? I look down on you! I’m heading back to pack my things for the mission tomorrow.” As soon as he said that, he vanished out of the room hastily.
Only Mu En sat back down in his chair as if nothing had happened, looking at the stunned Zhou Weiqing and said passively: “Little Wei, do you understand now?”
“Understand? Indeed I understand now. No wonder we are called Paradise Strange... Indeed there isn’t a single normal person here…” Zhou Weiqing’s had a strange expression on his face, as an extremely weird scene appeared in his mind… his father and the graceful Hua Feng holding hands...
Feeling his gut start to roll, Zhou Weiqing immediately gave himself a slap, bringing himself away from that picture instantly.
Of the seven members or the Heavenly Bow Unit, he had met 5. One homosexual, one rogue, one scoundrel, one homicidal maniac, and one ice cube. Thinking, he asked tentatively: “Teacher, what are the nicknames of the last 2 members?”
Mu En stood up and walked over to him, saying: “You will have to be careful of the last 2 members. One of them is the only female in our Heavenly Bow Unit, a beautiful lady. She has been in love with Hua Feng for over twenty years, just like how Hua Feng has been in love with your father. Her name is Shui Cao, but we usually call her Little Grass [3. Cao (草） means grass]. However, she definitely suffers from hormonal imbalance, and her temper is extremely violent and fiery; besides Hua Feng, she is fierce to everyone else, and her nickname is also Volcano[4. The following explanation is because of how Volcano is written in Chinese (火山，which literally means fire mountain)]. Fire refers to her temper, while mountain refers to her attribute, as she is an Earth Attribute Elemental Jewel Master. She is the one you have to be the most careful of, as in her eyes, your father is the one who stole her beloved.”
“The final member is our vice leader, called Yi Shi. His speciality is sneak attacks, as well as supporting arrows, and is the best support in the battlefield. In terms of treacherous and sinister plans, nobody can beat her. Her gender is… unique... just like her nickname, Transvestite.”
Currently, Zhou Weiqing had a head full of black lines [5. -.-"'], and his facial muscles were twitching. What sort of collection of people were these? Adding a transvestite and a tigress, how were they going to spend the next two years?!
“Come on, let’s go as well. I’ll assign you a place to stay, then you can show me your strength. You’ve already accomplished Consolidated Equipment for your Physical Jewel, have you also Stored Skill for your Elemental Jewel?
Zhou Weiqing nodded and said: “Yes I have.”
Mu En’s eyes spun as he said: “That Old Zhou, he really is willing to splurge on you!”
By now, Zhou Weiqing had mostly recovered. After all, he had been around Mu En for over two years, and his ability to take in strange new sights was well trained. Listening to Mu En’s words, he could only grin to himself.
Luo Ke Di said: “Alright, I’ll head back to drink wine. Little Wei, don’t forget about what I told you earlier.”
Zhou Weiqing raised his brow and said: “What did you say? I forgot already.”
“What?!” Luo Ke Di slammed the table and waved his fist at Zhou Weiqing. “Little Brat, are you asking to die?”
Mu En rolled his eyes and said: “I think the one who’s asking to die is you! My disciple just came and you’re already threatening him? How can you be his Shi Shu[6. 师叔 - literally means Master/Teacher’s Junior or brother. I’ve seen it translated as Martial Uncle, but that’s actually rather off, so I’m leaving it as the pinyin.] like that?”
Zhou Weiqing quickly hid behind Mu En, nodding and saying: “Exactly, Shi Shu! My memory is usually quite bad, but if I get a welcome gift, perhaps it’ll help me jog my memory and help me remember what you said earlier.”
Luo Ke Di’s mouth couldn’t help but twitch a little: “As dragons’ sons are dragons, a phoenix will also beget little phoenixes, a rat’s child will naturally know how to bore holes. [7. Basically he is mocking that Zhou Weiqing has learnt how to be shameless from Mu En]. You little brat, you’ve only just arrived and you’re already trying to con me.”
Mu En laughed out and said: “Well said, I will definitely pass on your words to Zhou Shui Niu. Looks like you are already confident of beating him! Heh heh!”
Luo Ke Di said angrily: “I was talking about you!”
Mu En said innocently: “But, Little Wei is not my son, he’s just my disciple. You said rat’s child, but he isn’t my child at all. Ahhh, it’s been so long since I’ve seen Zhou Shui Niu beating someone up, I can’t wait to see it!”
Luo Ke Di stared at the teacher disciple pair, speechless, before he finally caved in and said with grief and indignation: “I’m scared of you two! Old scoundrel, I’ll give a welcoming gift alright.”
Mu En said in a magnanimous manner: “No problem! Just remember to bring it before we set off tomorrow. Come Little Wei, let’s go.”
Zhou Weiqing gave Luo Ke Di a wide smile, saying: “Shi Shu, thanks! I’m sure your gift will be extremely good!”
On hearing his words, Luo Ke Di almost wanted to slam his head against the wall. This master disciple pair was just too unbeatable, quickly working together so with such compatibility. An ordinary welcome gift was not even sufficient, having to be an extremely good one! Looking at the two of them walk off, he couldn’t help but gnash his teeth together, thinking to himself: Perhaps it’s also time that Your father, I, should also find a disciple!
As they exited to the courtyard, Mu En turned to Zhou Weiqing and said: “Little Wei, just now that Little Rogue said that your Consolidated Equipment was quite a good bow. Let me have a look. Little Rogue has always had good taste, and is very picky; having him praise your bow, it should be pretty good.”
Zen's notes:
Once again, had some trouble with the title/ name of their group, which took me quite a long time.
Basically it is 变态天堂, where 变态 has several meanings. The reason why the name is so awesome in Chinese is because many of the meanings suit them! Basically, 变态 can be used to mean... just changes, down to the perverted, weird, strange which I used, to being monstrously strong etc.
天堂 of course means Heaven or Paradise / Utopia.
Some of the suggestions my friends gave were like Hentai Heaven, Pervert Paradise, etc etc =p I finally settled on Paradise Strange (thanks Deceptioning).
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