Chapter 202 – Forklift Certified Florida Man Refused to Have Sex with Celebrity to Warm Up for the Upcoming No-Nut-November.
Not even a hesitation, Ivy fetched the earth fate crystal and offered it to Leo.
"Here it is, Holy One. Please accept our tribute."
"You're exaggerating. Anyway, thanks for the crystal. In exchange, I'll try to… resurrect y'all."
Leo dryly laughed as he almost bit his tongue. It felt weird to say that he would resurrect these walking skeletons when he wasn't even a priest in RPG games.
"Now, go grab the tea in the granary. Drink 'em until you look like this damn tsundere elf." Leo ordered the crowd.
Esen frowned. "What's sun-de-le?"
"A cute waifu material that deserves a lot of love."
"!!!"
Esen's face reddened, and her body stiffened. Smoke came out from her ears. She misheard "Waifu" as "Wife", and she thought that Leo saw her as his future wife.
On the other hand, Leo referred to Japanese anime characters. However, as it had been 50,000 years since he last watched an anime, he forgot the right terms to call the trope.
While Esen was flustered, Ivy took this opportunity to ask Leo.
"When will you get married, Holy One?"
"Dafuq?!"
It was Leo's turn to be speechless. His body stiffened while his mind wondered why she had come to such a conclusion.
Still, it reminded him of his future. He had been single for 50,000 years because he was the only "Human" on Earth. But at this moment, he lived in a civilization and mingled with the locals. It was about time for him to think about growing a family.
Leo glanced at Sierra as her big assets came to his mind. He also thought of the sexy lamias with 6 boobas as they were his type.
"Probably when I can score a mother of my babies. Well, that's an odd question. Why do you ask?"
Ivy faintly smiled and saluted. She secretly glanced at Esen, who was still flabbergasted and embarrassed.
"Nothing, sir. Just curious."
"Anyway," Leo changed the subject. "When you get your fleshly body back, come find me. The resurrection process will be very risky because I need to touch y'all and feed you my blood. It will be very painful and dangerous. If you fail to endure the pain, you will probably die… again."
"We're not afraid of death, Holy One. We're already dead."
"…I know."
Leo dryly laughed and facepalmed. He didn't know what to feel.
Ivy and Leo continued to chat for 10 minutes before the undead clan excused themselves. As for Esen, she didn't speak a word.
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After Esen's group had left, Leo flickered the hand-sized crystal in the air and let it fall into his alien ring.
"This is the fourth!"
DING
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Fate Crystal Tutorial
Fate Crystals are profound artifacts that created the universe. By collecting at least seven fate crystals of the same quality, the collector can gain new strength, depending on the crystal's quality.
Earth Fate Crystals are useless to you. However, it will be nice to collect them for future usage. Maybe someone around you can find them useful?
Be warned. You are not the only one who searches for these crystals. There will be competitors, and they are not your run-in-a-mill pushovers.
Primary Objectives:
1 - Collect 7 Earth Fate Crystals (4/7)
2 – Assemble 7 Earth Fate Crystals (0/1)
Secondary Objectives:
1 – Kill 7 Immortals (2/7)
2 – Upgrade Humble General Store to Shopping Mall (1/1)
Primary Mission Rewards: Gnosis of Earth Fate, True Earth Fate Crystal, Ring of Entity Upgrade Feature
Secondary Mission Rewards: 7 Lucky Draws, 777 Free Tickets
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Leo only needed three more crystals to complete the primary objectives. As for the secondary one, he might have to rely on the monthly PVP mode and the Fate Arena.
'Time to get going. I've prepared enough.'
After spending a week practicing flight skills, Leo was confident that he could fly alone. However, as the trip might take days, Leo wasn't sure if he should head there without a toilet and a bed.
Since it might be a long trip, Leo decided to take the battle bus with him. But first, he needed to inform his people that he would be absent for a while. He headed to the store to inform his employees.
.
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Leo stood in front of his bus, staring at Esen, Ivy, Marc, and Beatrice. They pestered Leo to tag along. Moreover, they wanted to bring the crowd of 100 elite death knights, archliches, and grim reapers along.
"You lots…" Leo had a headache. "I'm heading out for work. Why do you want to come with me?"
Ivy grinned and made an excuse. "We still need you to resurrect us. Since this trip might be long, it would have been a waste of time if we waited for you here. We should accompany you and complete the ritual along the way so that we won't waste the tea."
Leo understood that Ivy didn't want to waste her time. However, he didn't understand why Esen wanted to tag along. Moreover, her clothes were weirdly cute.
Instead of wearing the Florida Domain's uniform, she wore a silver evening dress from the clothing store, and she carried a small jewel handbag. Her hairstyle also changed into curly long hair, touching her shoulders. Her light makeup also covered the made her skin less shiny, which pleased the eyes.
Esen looked like she was about to attend a ball.
"Esen." Leo dully stared at the elf. "Are you going to a prom or something?"
The elf in question dodged Leo's eye contact. Her face was still red to the ears. Still, she was capable of making a conversation.
"W-What's prom?"
"A party where hormone-driven young men and women attend before they get drunk, secretly have sex in a toilet, and go home without alerting their parents that they are no longer virgins."
"W-WHAT?!"
Because of Leo's warped mindset, Esen misunderstood the prom as a vulgar party. She almost tore the clothes from the embarrassment. Fortunately, the clothes were so durable that Esen couldn't even put a dent in it.
After teasing Esen enough, Leo invited the group to the bus.
"There aren't many rooms. Make sure you don't break anything."
Everybody except Esen bowed to Leo. They got on the bus one after another.
Ivy and Esen were the last to enter the bus. The former dragged her master into the vehicle and whispered to her.
'Your Majesty! Make sure to cling to him as much as possible. If you stay close to him, you will get stronger. If better, dual-cultivate with him to absorb his virgin yang. That way, you will attain godhood.'
"STOP TEMPTING ME! I'M NOT DUAL-CULTIVATING WITH THAT GEEZER!"
"Have you seen his youthful appearance yet? If he drinks enough tea, he will become young. He might be handsome."
"I'M NOT DUAL-CULTIVATING!"
Esen screamed at her subordinate and kicked her inside the bus.
Meanwhile, Leo overheard the conversation. He raised his eyebrows in confusion.
"What the hell are they trying to do? Matchmaking? Pfft. I ain't into flat boards. She's a good body pillow, though."
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After getting on the bus, Leo drove it and took off. He flew the bus north.
While driving, Leo upgraded the bus to level 12. The lobby area expanded, and more bedrooms appeared. All 100 knights, liches, and reapers could have a room of their own.
Leo had no time to admire the bus's interior as he was the only one who could fly this battle bus. He focused on the task at hand.
Unfortunately, the busy-body archlich girl didn't leave him alone. She whispered something to Esen's ears. A minute later, Esen walked toward Leo and sat on his lap.
"…"
"…"
Esen's face and ears were so red that her head emitted strong heat and white smoke. On the other hand, Leo stared at Esen for a while before he glanced at Ivy.
Ivy maintained her pokerface. She advised Leo.
"Holy One. Please use her body as you see fit. She cultivates virgin yin, and her physique is compatible with you. If you dual-cultivate with her, your strength will improve leap and bound."
Leo gave Ivy a meaningful look. "I ain't banging the girl. What are you, a Hollywood pimp?"
"I only hope for the best for you and Her Majesty."
"…"
Leo rolled his eyes. He turned to Esen next.
However, the high elf looked up and gazed at Leo's face. Her eyes were moist because of embarrassment.
Leo lightly bonked her with the edge of his palm. Then, he adjusted her posture and made her face the front. Without letting her react, he grabbed her hands and placed them on the wheel.
After correcting her posture, Leo slipped out of his seat and let Esen sit in the driver's seat.
"You keep driving north. I'm gonna go take a nap."
Esen: "…"
Ivy: "…"
Leo left and entered his bedroom. As for Ivy and Esen, they looked at each other.
"Is he gay?" The corner of Esen's mouth twitched. She was offended.
"More like, he isn't easily tempted, Your Majesty."
"Is my charm not enough?" Esen pouted.
"You're very beautiful. But I think the Holy One's taste is a bit special. I think we have to improve your femininity… starting from your chest."
"…"
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The bus flew over the Cauliflower City and headed further north. Wandering cultivators noticed the vehicle, but none bothered attacking it.
After traveling 1,000 km further, Leo came out of his room to check the view.
The north of Yan Empire Continent was full of snowy mountains. A few of them were pencil-like mountains while the others were series of mountain ranges.
Among the white mountains, a pitch black stood out. It was ten times taller than Mount Everest, and its peak reached the space. Yet, all light couldn't reflect from the dark mountain's surface.
Leo gazed at the mountain and recalled the statue's words. Indeed, he couldn't miss it.
"That's our destination."
Leo pulled Esen out of his seat. He resumed driving the bus, bringing it closer to the mountain of darkness.
Esen and Ivy stopped seducing Leo. They remembered this mountain well.
"What are you doing here, geezer? Isn't that Immortalium Mountain?"
"You know the mountain?" Leo was surprised.
"That damn mountain's territory was a forbidden area during my reign. The mineral there is so toxic that it degrades our souls. If we get too close, the link between our fleshly bodies and souls will be cut off, and we'll die."
"Hmm."
Leo widely smiled as he found the mountain and Immortalium interesting. He wanted to learn more about it. Thus, he navigated his bus and landed the bus on a frozen lake 10 kilometers away from the Immortalium Mountain.
He put on the suit and got off the bus. As he prepared to fly alone toward the mountain, Esen tugged his clothes.
"What?" Leo looked back. He started to get annoyed.
"S-Soul… Our souls."
"What soul?"
"There's a way to prevent the soul links from being cut. When my men explored the mountain, we sent couples there together to mine the Immortalium ores."
"So?"
"O-O-Only husband and wife can enter there! Unless you have a wife, you can't go there! Your soul will instantly return to the karma river if you go there!"
Leo clicked his tongue. He thought Esen tried to trick him into dual-cultivating with her.
"I don't have time for that. Let go."
"…"
Esen paused. She turned toward Ivy, asking for her help with her look.
Ivy nodded. But before she could speak, Leo already kicked the ground and flew toward the black mountain.
Esen and Ivy dropped their jaws. It was too late to pull Leo back as he already crossed the boundary of no return.
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