Love
… Why do you have to blame yourself Iris…
I wonder if I learned it at that time when I was in love with Ed.
Love makes people foolish…
I fell quickly and drowned in it.
Nothing more than despair awaited me from it.
… And the same as now I also wished at that time for the other party to love me as I love them. For myself, so the what happened with Ed doesn’t happen again … no, no more. I must stop.
I want to let go of him, I want to forget about his existence, but at the same time I want to make him drown in my feelings, I want to make him recognize me and love me …
Yes, I hoped… I hoped…
Without thinking about the other person’s intention.
Even now, I’m only thinking about my feelings.. that’s right. Expecting love from him and loving him without permission and feeling angry if I didn’t get what I wanted.
… It seems that my behavior is not different from a child who can not get the toy he wants.
Before I knew, Tanya was walking behind me.
She did not say anything and was chasing me the entire time from when I got up from the First Prince table.
When I noticed I was standing close to the entrance… Oh, I must have come back unconscious …
Although my head was occupied heavily with thoughts, my chest feels lightly now.
I gently strike my hand against the chest.
… I lost it!
The pocket watch that I’m always wearing is now lost.
To that fact, I quickly paled up.
“Lady?”
I stopped suddenly, she noticed my change in the complexion and Tanya cried.
“… Tanya … I’m sorry but I left something important behind. Will you go get it?”
“But… Milady you’re not okay now… I can’t leave you alone…”
“Please, by all means, I do not want to lose it, but I can’t go back to that place… I’ll be waiting around here, please.”
There is no consciousness of the rare weak figure I’m exposing right now.
But … that thing, is so important to me, to the extent I’d do anything for it.
“… I am afraid to go back there, please bring it to me Tanya…”
She doesn’t want to leave my side so she showed a conflicted face for a while … but, at the end she said okay.
“Okay…”
I saw her off from behind. And waited quietly on the spot.
Unintentionally, I put my hands on my chest. That gesture is like a habit to me.
…… Really, how strange.
Even if that pocket watch comes back, so what of it? … Rather, the happy past that accompanies it is only painful for me now to remember it.
I vaguely look at the garden facing the corridor.
So, people were close to me all the time while I was talking with him.
While I was thinking that, I suddenly heard footsteps..
It’s really early for Tanya to have come back already..
When I turned back to see if it was Tanya and if she found it, it was Dean who was standing there.
Before I had the chance to ask him why he’s here… he took my hand and walks away pulling me.
To this unusual fortune, I am confused and I can’t keep up with the present situation.
When we entered a nearby vacancy room, he lets go of my hand.
Comments