Volume 17, Akito Miyake’s Monologue
I’ve never once thought that I was special.
Nothing especially good, nor any particular flaws. An average person.
I’ve just been living until now doing what I felt like doing out of some force of habit.
I sometimes did bad things, and I’ve also done somewhat good things.
I’m neither a saint nor a scoundrel. If you were to ask me to evaluate myself then I’d answer something like that.
Ever since I was born, I’ve been that unremarkable guy.
That was obvious ever since high school.
Even the reason I started archery was only because I saw it on the TV and decided to do it to kill time.
Letting myself go with the flow, living my life normally.
I didn’t concern myself with significant things. I lived my daily life without going too hot or too cold.
It might have been boring, but I thought it was fun, so I kept doing it.
The bad thing about that was, I never made any friends who acted like friends in highschool.
I wasn’t really lonely… then by chance, I made friends.
Keisei, Kiyotaka, Haruka, Airi.
Including me we were five people, but that small group was strangely comforting.
I’ll probably spend the rest of my highschool life relaxing with these guys, I thought.
Even if the surroundings changed I was still me. I thought that would never change.
Despite my expectations, something big changed.
Falling in love with someone.
I’ve thought of others as cute or beautiful until now, but I’d never fallen in love before.
When did it happen?
When did I start staring at Haruka’s face from the side?
I gained conviction in the unanimity special exam, when Haruka was about to get expelled.
I could no longer stay cold.
I prioritized my feelings instead of reason.
She had to be protected, even if it meant throwing away Airi, one of our group members who was just as loved.
I don’t know if these feelings can be forgiven or not.
After comparing them, I inevitably prioritized the one I wanted to protect.
“Will you go and take revenge with me?”
That whisper pulled me back to the present. Her eyes, looking at me, were no different than usual.
Confident, direct, and sparkling in a dangerous color.
But I didn’t have a shred of hesitation. My resolve left no room for it.
I didn’t answer with my voice. No, I couldn’t.
That revenge would definitely endanger many of our classmates and our friends.
As if she saw me thinking that, she smiled, turned her back on me and walked on her own.
Before I surely would have seen her off indifferently.
That would be the correct thing to do.
Yes, if I let her walk away, how much easier would it be?
I didn’t know that falling in love was this troublesome and this serious.
I…
After this, no matter how many people despise me…
My emotions won’t let me allow this girl to walk on her own.
Today, as the sports festival ends, I hardened my non-existent resolve.
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