The rain had been pouring since night, but fortunately, it subsided to a drizzle in the morning. It is said that the rain ushers in spring, but it seemed like winter wasn’t over yet. The moment Woo-Jin stepped outside, every breath exhaled was blown away by the wind due to the piercing cold. There was still a long way to go before spring arrived, and winter was still here to stay.
“It’ll be warm at the exam center, right? Do you want to carry a lap blanket with you just in case?”
“It’s enough; I’m good.” Even if it wasn't, Woo-Jin still shook his head while closing his sufficiently packed backpack. They kept giving him more and more items to carry along with him, and even though he would be going by car, they had given him too much to carry.
Woo-Jin was on his way to take his first bar exam. His parents were more nervous than him and were anxious the entire way to the exam center. As Choi Min-Woo drove, his neck and shoulders seemed stiff throughout the journey, while the unreligious Park Eun-Soo kept praying to all the gods in the world. On the other hand, Woo-Jin was sitting comfortably in the backseat feeling at ease; he dozed off and opened his eyes only when it was time for him to get out of the car.
“Please drop me off here.”
“It’s still a distance away, though?”
“It’s faster for me to walk from here. If you go around the alley, there is no sidewalk in the first lane, and there are a lot of cars, so it’ll be hard to get out.” Woo-Jin had checked the traffic conditions around the exam venue beforehand. He pointed to the area he wanted to get off at, and as soon as Choi Min-Woo pulled over, Park Eun-Soo grabbed Woo-Jin’s hand and stroked it, just as he was about to get down from the car.
“I’m worried because it’s raining. What if you catch a cold after walking in the rain?” Woo-Jin smiled gently upon hearing his mother’s concerns. He grabbed his scarf and shook it. He felt sorry for the other people taking the exam, but this weather helped him instead.
“Don’t be nervous. Even if you don’t do well, it’s okay.”
“I’m not expecting much either,” Woo-Jin said it jokingly, but his mother glared at him instead. Seeing that his mother still hadn’t given up on her wish, Woo-Jin laughed awkwardly as he got out of the car. Just like how Woo-Jin couldn’t give up on his dreams, his mother couldn’t abandon the ideas she had for her child that easily either.
After repeatedly telling each other to get going, his parents eventually drove off first when they realized Woo-Jin wouldn’t budge before seeing them leave. Not wanting their son to stand outside even a second longer, his parents hurriedly left. As soon as they left, Woo-Jin finally made his way towards the exam venue.
He had to cover his face as much as possible, so he didn’t have the luxury to look around him, but the faces and facial expressions of the people standing under the umbrellas were all different. There were people of all ages, ranging from the early 20s to 40s, with various expressions — some looked energetic, while others looked worried or had nothing on their minds.
The alley was very congested with a line of cars heading towards the exam venue, along with people going there on foot. Even though it only took approximately ten minutes to get to the gate of the high school, numerous people walked past Woo-Jin. Nobody knew if the weather reflected people’s moods or if people’s moods fluctuated depending on the weather, but most people there looked glum. It was as though only this area was from a different world — it was tense and gloomy.
Woo-Jin was very self-conscious, worrying about causing any disturbances towards the test takers. Still, he managed to finish the exam without a hitch. Nobody noticed him even when he removed his hat, mask, and scarf, leaving only his glasses on. People glued to their books even during lunch and break weren’t that curious about the person sitting next to them. The invigilators were the only people that recognized Woo-Jin; they paused for a moment after seeing him but calmly ignored his presence soon after.
After the exam ended, Woo-Jin waited for the other people to leave the exam hall first before making a move. It was still raining. While the misty rain had remained unchanged from morning up, the wind was so strong right now that it flipped many umbrellas inside out. Even though Woo-Jin’s two-fold umbrella wasn’t as strong as a large umbrella, its frame was relatively strong, so fortunately for him, it was good enough to withstand the wind.
Even though he left later than the rest, many people were still present on the road. Woo-Jin scanned the crowd and wondered if there was anyone he knew. Just then, he saw someone in front of him walking in the rain with hurried steps. He looked closely at her, finding her familiar, and realized her to be his classmate, Kim Tae-Hwa. She was the part-timer at the cafe that Woo-Jin and Hyun-Min used to frequent. As such, whenever they saw each other in class, they’d often acknowledge each other’s presence.
Woo-Jin realized that all the classes they had together were related to law. He had spoken to her a couple of times before because Hyun-Min was friendly to her, but Woo-Jin and Kim Tae-Hwa were not very close. Furthermore, he had purposely distanced himself from her because of the strange, subtle vibes he had gotten during their first encounter in school.
Woo-Jin wanted to ignore her presence as much as possible but subconsciously hastened his steps to approach her before sheltering her with his umbrella. He didn’t even know what he was doing up until he placed his umbrella over her head, but it was already too late by then.
Kim Tae-Hwa was stunned when her five-fold umbrella flipped inside out in the rain and wind before breaking. She didn’t know that the shaft of her portable umbrella was that weak. In that helpless moment, she was afraid that the notes in her bag would get wet, so she decided to stop trying to get her umbrella to work and hold her bag tightly to her chest with both arms. She couldn’t let her notes get wet, even if it meant she would be drenched in the rain.
She had only taken a few steps before she was taken by surprise by another person’s presence, along with the shadow over her head. She stopped in her tracks and looked to the side. The sudden appearance of a stranger with a hat and a scarf that covered half his face shocked her, and she instinctively backed away from him.
“It’s me.” Woo-Jin quickly lowered his scarf, revealing a little more of his face. He was wearing glasses, but when he lifted the brim of his hat slightly, Kim Tae-Hwa could see his face.
“Ah, hello.” She was first relieved to know he wasn’t a total stranger. Then, after nodding her head in a greeting, she subconsciously tilted her head to the side, wondering why Chae Woo-Jin was here. She looked back at the exam venue she had exited a while ago. There was nothing else apart from the high school used as the exam center at the end of the alley.
“I came from there too.”
“Why?”
“Am I not allowed to take the bar exam?”
“That’s not what I meant….” Kim Tae-Hwa hesitated, feeling she said something rude, but Woo-Jin told her it was okay. It was only natural for her to ask that, so there was nothing offensive about it.
Woo-Jin walked closer to Kim Tae-Hwa and moved the umbrella closer to her, so she wouldn’t be walking in the rain. Syncing their footsteps, Kim Tae-Hwa had no choice but to walk together with him.
“Because it’s what my parents want.” Perhaps, when everybody found out that Chae Woo-Jin had taken the bar exam, most of them would ask the same question as Kim Tae-Hwa. And he would have to give the same answer.
“Your parents must want a lot from you.” It seemed like most people would react similarly to Kim Tae-Hwa. Woo-Jin was worried other people would fault his parents because they wanted their son to take the bar exam even though he was already a celebrity.
“I’m the one who wants a lot from myself. My parents are simple people who would rather I become a stable civil servant than a celebrity with an uncertain future. But, on the other hand, I’m the one not willing to let go of either after all.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
When it came to Chae Woo-Jin, no matter how much his parents wanted him to do something, if he didn’t want to do it, that was all there was to it. Ultimately, he had the final say, so it wasn’t wrong to say he was the one with a lot of desires and expectations.
After a moment of silence, Kim Tae-Hwa looked at Woo-Jin and asked, “What will you do if you pass the exam?”
“I don’t know. I don’t expect myself to pass, so I haven’t thought about that.”
“It must be true for the people who have the luxury of choice because they have a safety net or a backup plan, but there are a lot of desperate people who spend decades working towards their goal of passing the bar exam….” Kim Tae-Hwa responded. Chae Woo-Jin’s light remark could come across as annoying to the middle-aged people who couldn’t give up on their dream of passing the bar exam and hopelessly cling onto it. Woo-Jin understood how they felt, but there was no need for him to be understood by them.
“I don’t know the exact number of people who took the exam today, but I heard the passing rate is nearly one in fifty. Not everyone who took the exam is desperate. Unless success or failure is decided based on desperation, nobody can criticize anyone for their mental attitude.”
“But if you pass and choose not to go down that path, it’s evident that someone else who could have passed would end up failing. It could very well be the most important last shot that person had at the bar exam.” There were bound to be others who shared the same thought as Kim Tae-Hwa and would make the same argument.
“Should I throw away my life choices because of someone I don’t know?” Woo-Jin answered honestly, with the mindset that he was being interrogated in advance, as it was only a matter of time before someone else asked the same question.
“Um….”
“Everybody’s bound to have their own desperate moments and difficult personal circumstances. That applies to me too. Even though my worries and concerns might seem trivial to others, it’s a decision I had to make at the crossroads of my life. Just like how relative standards cannot be regarded as absolute criteria, it may not be a big deal to others, but I’m desperate myself too. It’s not illegal to give up on the fruits you’ve earned after working hard, fair and square. Furthermore, it has to undeniably be a competition for you to say I’m stealing the opportunity from somebody else.”
Woo-Jin felt that one had to enter the competition with the determination to win first before urging others to give up. Only the winner could decide whether to keep the trophy or throw it away. What was the point of claiming a trophy that was never his, to begin with?
“More importantly, don’t they accept more people than the maximum capacity every year because of tied scores? So ultimately, the person would fail because they couldn’t get a higher score, not because of me.” Kim Tae-Hwa blinked several times after hearing Woo-Jin’s calm retort before apologizing repeatedly. She felt sorry and embarrassed for going off on him for no apparent reason when he sheltered her with his umbrella on this rainy day.
“Perhaps, I thought I would be one of those people who would fail. I’m sorry. I was too presumptuous.”
“Probably a lot of people share the same sentiment as you. Taking all those people into account, it’s indeed presumptuous.” Kim Tae-Hwa blushed slightly after hearing Chae Woo-Jin’s casual response. She didn’t take the bar exam because of her lofty aspiration or a strong sense of justice. The exam was a means to prove her value and show it to everyone. If someone were to criticize her for it, she would most likely be furious.
“Which way are you going?” They had already reached the entrance of the alley, giving her no time to apologize. As soon as they got there, Woo-Jin asked her the question. Kim Tae-Hwa pointed to the right with the umbrella in her hand.
“Oh?”
“That’s my ride over there. The weather’s cold; if you catch a cold, it’ll be hard for you to prepare for the second exam. Also, you don’t have to return the umbrella. Since we don’t have the same major, I don’t think we’ll be taking the same classes anymore, so just keep it.”
Woo-Jin gave the umbrella to Kim Tae-Hwa as he said goodbye before turning around. His right shoulder was already very wet. Before getting in the car, Woo-Jin turned around and looked, only to see Kim Tae-Hwa standing there motionless. He nodded his head. Before she could do the same, he had already gotten into the car, and it drove off immediately.
“Who’s that?” Kang Ho-Soo asked Woo-Jin as he looked at Kim Tae-Hwa in the side mirror. Instead of the van, he drove the car to pick Woo-Jin up today.
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