"The reason why I faked my death is..."
Speechless looked straight into Shi Xiaobai's eyes and had a solemn expression. With a serious tone, he said, "Because I do not trust anybody."
Shi Xiaobai was alarmed when he heard that. He was flabbergasted.
He never expected to hear such an answer. He had once tried to guess Speechless's reason for feigning his death. He had also guessed that he had done so due to a necessary goal, or had even speculated that Speechless had done it on a whim to leave people speechless.
Shi Xiaobai had all sorts of guesses on this matter but he never expected the reason to be—he did not trust anybody?
Speechless did not seem like such a person.
At least, from Shi Xiaobai's point of view, although Speechless was a little narcissistic and speechless-rendering, contact with him made others feel his honesty and sincerity. He was like a sun that would occasionally be glaring and hot, but he was always filled with positive energy. He was a righteous youth who was highly spirited and in his prime!
However, Speechless claimed that he did not trust anybody? Didn't this mean that he had always been treating them with suspicion? Then, could all his honest feelings, sincerity, and positive energy be faked?
At that moment, Shi Xiaobai was surprised to realize that he had never known Speechless.
Could it be that this was the real Speechless Li?
Shi Xiaobai did not make any hasty conclusions. He took a deep breath and said in a deep voice, "This King doesn't understand. You said that you do not trust anybody. Does the anybody here refer to everybody in this world or a particular group of people? What has faking your death got to do with the people you do not believe in?"
Speechless did not answer and instead remained expressionless during a long silence. He looked straight into Shi Xiaobai's eyes and suddenly said, "Once upon a time, there was a blissful boy..."
Shi Xiaobai was taken aback slightly but his expression immediately turned even more serious. Speechless liked to divert topics when speaking and spoke in fairytales. However, this time was different. Shi Xiaobai's keen senses felt it.
Speechless suddenly looked up into the night sky as a wistful look flashed in his eyes. Following that, he lowered his head and gave a self-deprecatory smile. He turned to look at Shi Xiaobai and the corner of his lips widened to give a strange smile.
"That boy was really very blissful."
Speechless lowered his voice and said, "That boy had a granny who loved him dearly. She would hug him when they sat in a yard, watching the stars in the night sky while she recited a fairytale to him. When he laughed, she would laugh with him. When he cried, she would use sweets to placate him. She would not mind acting as a humorous old witch in order to make the boy laugh. When it snowed, the granny would accompany the boy to make a snowman, even though her fingers were turning blue from the cold. Yet, she would not say a word. Her face showed a warm and endearing smile all the time. Even when the boy occasionally flared up, and said nasty things to her in his anger, she would never frown. She would only wait till the boy cooled down before taking the initiative to apologize to him, despite having done nothing wrong."
"The boy also had an elder brother that doted on him. His elder brother was excellent in many aspects. He was the boy's idol and the boy always pursued his brother's shadow. However, his elder brother never went too far. He would forever turn back every three steps to look at his younger brother. The first time the boy climbed a tree, caught a cicada, stole sweet potatoes, and ate roasted sweet potatoes that were baked in the mud, were all taught by his elder brother. There was once when the boy naughtily went alone into the mountains to play. Not only did he lose his way, he accidentally fell into a trap set up by hunters. His brother searched for him in the mountains for a day and night before finding him. Despite being completely exhausted, he piggybacked the boy and ran more than ten kilometers to the hospital. In the end, all the boy suffered were superficial wounds but his brother suffered from exhaustion and was hospitalized for half a month. He even missed his promotional exams. The boy cried and apologized but his brother said with a smile, 'Thank you. Thank the heavens that you are fine'."
"The boy also had an omniscient personal tutor. The teacher wasn't old and was only in his thirties or forties but suffered from balding, making him look old. However, one could not judge a book by its cover. The teacher was surprisingly very capable. He could teach anything with great flair. Be it orthodox cultivation or the three religions and the nine schools of thoughts, the teacher was proficient at it all. He knew basically everything. Whatever the boy wanted to learn, he would teach him. The boy was impressed by the teacher's knowledge and the teacher was also very happy to teach him all he knew."
"The boy even had a gentle and adorable child bride. The boy did not know what a child bride was and only treated her as his playmate. The girl looked very adorable and was identical to a porcelain doll. Furthermore, she nurtured herself with the goal of being a good wife from a young age. She was understanding, kind and pleasing. She always had the boy's best interest at heart, causing many of the boy's peers to be jealous of him. They often used the girl's status as a child bride to ridicule them. The boy gradually learned the meaning of the term. Due to a laughable self-esteem of a child, the boy tried to distance himself from the girl but she clung onto the boy like gum. There was once the boy was angry. He said hurtful words and did not return home with the girl like normal. That night, the girl waited in school till late in the night. The boy ran back to the school to look for her and realized that she had cried her eyes out. He asked her angrily, 'Why didn't you go home?'. The girl said sobbingly, 'Since you don't want me, that's no longer my house'. Only then did the boy truly understand the meaning of the words 'child bride'. He asked in an agonizing manner, 'Don't you feel sad? To marry a person like me in the future'. The girl shook her head forcefully and said happily, 'I like you so much that I don't even have time to be happy. So how can I be sad?'. Back then, the boy was shorter than his peers by a head and was often mocked as a dwarf. She was also the first girl that confessed to the boy."
When Speechless reached this point, he suddenly closed his eyes and fell silent for a long while before sighing lightly.
After he opened his eyes, he looked at Shi Xiaobai and said with a smile, "How is it? Is the boy... very blissful?"
Shi Xiaobai's gaze was solemn as he nodded with great difficulty.
Speechless said with a smile, "However, bliss is usually temporary. The boy's happiness lasted till he was eight. On his eighth birthday, without any foreshadowing, his granny, elder brother, teacher, and child bride packed their bags and bade the boy farewell. They said they would be leaving and never to return. The boy panicked and shouted amidst crying, 'why'. Shi Xiaobai, can you guess why?"
Shi Xiaobai sighed inwardly. Back when Speechless began the story with the word 'bliss', he had guessed that Speechless was going to narrate a tragedy. It was because the more blissful a matter, the more tragic it would be once it was destroyed.
However, Shi Xiaobai had no means of guessing the reason for it. Since Speechless had asked him, he could not remain silent. Shi Xiaobai thought for a moment before offering an answer, "Perhaps, something happened to the boy's family?"
Speechless shook his head and suddenly looked up into the sky. He used a voice that could hardly be heard.
"It was because they were fired." IChooseDogLeading (我选择狗带) when read in Chinese sounds like I Choose Go Die. It was a meme that resulted from a former member of famous Korean boygroup, EXO, TAO (Huang Zitao). At a concert, there was a part in a rap that where he said "", but due to a mispronunciation, it sounded like he will not easily choose to be led by dogs. This phrase now means 'I'd rather die/I choose death'.
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