Renzi instead said, “Then fine, I’m the one who misses Ha-cube, alright? You’re always so busy, I’m so bored being all alone.”
Gu Xiaoshan felt a little guilty, but he teased Renzi, “You’re also not a housewife, why are you staying at home all alone? Can’t you go out for a walk? If not, you can even go to work, President Ren!”
“Don’t talk about going to work, I get a headache each time you mention work.” Renzi shook his head. “I’m just a person who’s unsuitable for work!”
Gu Xiaoshan laughed, “Then you’re suitable for singing karaoke and dancing? Wine parties?”
“I don’t go to such places anymore, but you also won’t let me be with anyone alone. I really don’t know what I should do.”
“That’s because you don’t make good friends.”
“You’re saying that about me?” Renzi snorted, “I’m now good friends with Tongzi. So, can I go out and play with him?”
Gu Xiaoshan laughed again. “I clearly remembered that you used to even be jealous of him. You’re now good friends?”
“You only love me, who am I going to be jealous about?”
His tone was self-righteous, but it gave Gu Xiaoshan an incomparable sense of sweetness. Gu Xiaoshan hugged Renzi, “Yes, I only love you. You don’t have to be jealous of anyone.”
Gu Xiaoshan then paused before continuing, “Then you’ll no longer mind that I was once engaged to him?”
Renzi thought about it. “When you mention it, I do feel somewhat uncomfortable. However, he has already said that it was a misunderstanding.”
Gu Xiaoshan smiled. “You’re only listening to him? You won’t listen to what I have to say? If I don’t mention it, you wouldn’t ask?”
Renzi pondered, “It slipped my mind.”
Gu Xiaoshan could only surrender. He took away the dog toys in Renzi’s hands, tugging Renzi over to the couch and sat down. “As a couple, we should still be honest with each other. Even if you didn’t ask, I should tell you about it. This would prevent any feelings of animosity from growing between us, and make things worse in the future.”
Renzi sat there in a daze. “So, were you engaged to him?”
“At that time, we were only amusing ourselves with each other — this may sound very unseemly, but you’ve seen how I was like in the past. So, you’ll understand that I’m not going overboard when I describe our relationship this way.” Gu Xiaoshan no longer tried to gloss things over. He earnestly and honestly explained, “It wasn’t because of him that’s why I came out of the closet to my father. It was because I just wanted to come out of the closet. Even if it was someone else, I would have done the same too, and made a fuss with my family. I would even… taking a thousand steps back from the situation, even if I wasn’t gay, I would have found something else to make a fuss about.”
Renzi was extremely astounded. “Why? Hasn’t your family always… always…” Renzi too did not know how to continue. He thought about it for a while before forcing out, “Always been quite rule-abiding?”
“Rule-abiding?” Gu Xiaoshan laughed coldly. “It’s because I had enough, so I wanted to break his rules. I rebelled against him, moving out of the family home, because I wanted to tell him, I would no longer abide with his rules.”
Renzi understood vaguely. He was silent for a moment, “I understand, is this your late ‘rebellious stage’?”
Hearing this comparison, Gu Xiaoshan laughed, but he nodded. “Maybe it’s like that, maybe it isn’t. The rebellious stage is due to the surge of hormones within a person’s body, while my ‘rebellion’ was due to years of premeditation.”
“Premeditation?”
“Maybe it’s not right to say this, but I’ve always thought about the day I would rebel.” Gu Xiaoshan sighed, “When the day came, I naturally rebelled. At that time, Father too refused to believe that I really was gay — or rather, he refused to believe that I was determined to rebel against him. To prove my ‘seriousness’, I then told him that I wanted to marry Mu Chutong. Father then finally regarded the matter as being very grave, and took my rebellion seriously. You also know what happened after that, he gave money to Mu Chutong and got him to leave. Mu Chutong clearly didn’t sincerely love me as well, only acting along with me in this ‘Butterfly Lovers’ play.” He took the money and left. I too borrowed this excuse and moved out, then did my own things. As such, I should thank Mu Chutong for allowing my relationship with my father to not be harmed, and for me to continue being filial… until my father looked for you.”
Renzi was stunned listening to this. Digesting the new information for quite some time, he then said, “So… Mu Chutong and you were only acting, and there wasn’t any true love between the two of you? You were only rebelling?”
Gu Xiaoshan could neither laugh nor cry about Renzi’s comprehension of the matter. He held Renzi’s hand, “You just have to understand that in my heart, there’s only you. Since my father can’t get used to it, then I have to do something about it.”
Renzi thought over it, but shook his head. “Uncle Gu has accepted your sexual orientation, and even accepted your rebellion. After so many years, he has supported you in whatever you do, except for our current situation. It must be because he doesn’t believe that I can make you happy, and that’s why he’s against me! Then, as long as I can prove myself to him, he won’t object against us anymore! Like this, your father and son relationship wouldn’t suffer!”
“Father and son relationship?” Gu Xiaoshan sneered. “He only wants to be an elder who has control over everything. You’ll never be able to prove yourself to him! He hasn’t objected against anything I’ve done over the years is because I’ve been following what he planned for me — to be a businessman who puts profits above everything. However, since I’ve diverted from his plans, he would be angry, and he wants to show his dominance. He said it himself, he wants to find me a partner who can bring me the most advantages. How are you going to prove to him that you’re this partner?”
Renzi heard the resentment in Gu Xiaoshan’s words, and it made him feel shocked and unfamiliar with it. All these years, he had always been very close with the Gu family. Between the Gu father and son, the Gu father and daughter, and the Gu siblings, they looked like they all got along very well with each other — although Renzi always felt something strange about it. He was unable to express it in words, but it felt like the dangers were covered by the calm surface of the sea. Now, Gu Xiaoshan was expressing his thoughts to him, revealing those jagged, ugly rocks, and Renzi was at a loss about what to do.
Seeing Renzi’s face, Gu Xiaoshan was regretful. “I know, what I’ve said would make you uneasy. So, I was always unwilling to talk to you about it… But…”
“No, no.” Renzi shook his head, and instead consoled Gu Xiaoshan. “I’m just a little astonished. I’m very happy that you’re sharing your feelings with me.”
Gu Xiaoshan smiled gently. “I know, you’re the best. It’s me who’s not the good one, and my family isn’t good as well.”
“No, no,” Renzi continued shaking his head like a rattle. “I keep feeling that your father isn’t just like that. Maybe, he’s still concerned about your happiness. Everyone says that my father is stubborn, and your father is flexible. However, I feel that on some matters, your father may be stubborn to the point of paranoia, just that no one knows about it. Whether it’s your father or my father, they both hope that we’ll be happy. It’s only that their understanding of happiness is different.”
Gu Xiaoshan laughed, “No matter what their understanding of happiness is, they shouldn’t force it on us.”
Renzi had nothing to say in reply.
“You don’t have to prove to him that you can make me happy.” Gu Xiaoshan held Renzi’s hand, “You’re mine, it’s enough that I feel happy.”
Renzi was very touched. He crouched down and undid Gu Xiaoshan’s pants, offering him a tribute of love.
Gu Xiaoshan exclaimed. Although Renzi was not particularly clever, he was still very hardworking. Diligence would make up for a lack of natural talent, and Renzi’s skills were improving tremendously. Happy. Ah, happy. Ah, happy happy happy ah…. Ah… Happiness has exploded.
Renzi wiped his mouth. Hmm, so thick.
Later on, not only did Renzi moved into Gu Xiaoshan’s apartment, he brought Ha-cube with him as well. Old Mister Yu was quite reluctant, “Would this dog be unhappy moving to a strange place?”
The butler smiled, “Did Old Mister forget? Ha-cube often went to Young Master Gu’s place too. Every time Young Master Gu comes over, Ha-cube is very happy as well.”
“That vixen!” Old Mister Yu snorted, “He only knows seduction! He doesn’t even let go of a dog!”
The butler could only go along with Old Mister Yu, “Yes, Young Master Gu is a vixen.”
Old Mister Yu thought about something. “However, has he settled the issue with his dad? He can’t let my son suffer under that old thing!”
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